Stargate Wives: Season Three
by JovianJeff
Summary: Stargate wives is an AU series that follow episodes as they ran in canon, but Sara, Sha're and Drey'auc are apart of the regular cast. Diverging from Cold Lazarus for Sara, Bloodlines for Drey'auc and Forever in a Day for Sha're.
1. Into the Fire

Title: Stargate Wives: Season three

Author: JovianJeff

Category: AU

Content Rating: T

Content Warnings: None

Pairings: Jack/Sara; Teal'c/Drey'auc, Daniel/Sha're

Season: Three

Spoilers: Into the Fire (Part 2)

Summary: Stargate wives is where the series generally ran as it did, but Sara, Sha're and Drey'auc are apart of the regular cast like Gen. Hammond and Dr. Frasier. Diverging from "Cold Lazarus" for Sara, "Bloodlines" for Drey'auc and "Forever in a Day" for Sha're. Seen through diary entries or introspective thoughts of the wives.

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

Arthur notes:

Stargate wives was born out of a hobbyhorse of mine about couples in scifi. I know it's the reality of the medium, but it's sad that maybe three science fiction television shows in the past forty or so years have had three married couples as regulars, and Firefly killed off theirs in the movie.

The Stargate Wives concept was inspired by the works of LE McMurray and C. L. Kamnikar.

This begins season three, Sara and Drey'auc have an established friendship. The adventures continue with the both of them, adding in Sha're to their circle after "Forever and a Day" and the Interlude "Eurydice Ascending".

This season also brings with it some crossovers with other author's works that I had become particularly enamored with. Like Kitipurr's take on a different Stargate SG-7, and LE McMurray's premise for bringing back Claire Jackson, Daniel's mother.

This season also continues the tradition of 'Cameo Crossovers' from season two. The majority will be in the form of other SG teams, background characters or races from other television show with Stargate's universe as the default. The crossovers won't be due to time travel or travel from other realities, they are all assumed to be in the same universe just tweaked to fit with the Stargate mythos. And it is my intension to keep them background characters to not repeat the too many directions of season two.

Into the Fire

Sara's diary

I wasn't at the gate when Colonel Makepeace came rushing in with his team. 'Toto' came and told me that they'd found Jack! It was the oddest thing too, the official story is that the Tok'ra found SG-3 on their off world mission and informed them they had an operative where Hathor was keeping my Jack and SG-1. However what Robert actually reported to General Hammond was something different. And yes, he brings news about Jack, he gets called Robert in this diary. Where Robert's actual report included that hadn't made the base's grapevine is that it wasn't the Tok'ra that delivered the news, it was the Re'tu.

Apparently my idea of typing on the computer when Charlie's mom was here gave Ma'chello an idea and now they could 'speak' over the radio, though K-9 is quick to correct me it's not quite speaking, it is a form of digital radio. With Maureen's stopgap measure of medicating a Tok'ra symbiote with a concoction derived from a plant on PJ2-445, the Tok'ra and Re'tu have begun talks about working together against the Goa'uld.

Anyway, while Claire and I listened to him I hazard a guess that with the accuracy of K-9's report that he had to have been listening in on the debriefing Robert was giving General Hammond. It's too soon to be in the computer, though I have a sneaking suspicion that means little to Toto here. Claire pretty much confirmed both suspicions when she admits she knew an earlier mark of K-9 when she offhandedly mentioned she once traveled with the Doctor.

This floored me of course. Finding out that Claire had time traveled, or that was what I thought she meant when she told me traveled with the Doctor.

To try and cover my shock, I attempted to change the subject, suggesting that we might want report what K-9 could do to General Hammond as a possible security breech, but Claire's reasoning easily brushed aside my stated concern. It wasn't actually a concern I had, but I wanted to say something and not just gape at my next door neighbor with this casual revelation. She vouched for the Doctor and he vouched for K-9 which she reminded me was fine with the General. So unless Toto lets someone else knows he can eavesdrop -through- walls, this will just have to be our little secret.

Claire pointed out to me that a girl's got to have some secrets.

K-9 ability to sense Re'tu will not one of those secrets. Not that it was one we had to keep, as General Hammond called and asked me to bring K-9 to see him. Seems he guessed, or knew, what Toto could do too. He wanted to find out if any Re'tu came in with Robert. Two had, and that was as many as Robert said had come with his team. Apparently they were organizing something like SG teams for now. If or when Sam, Maureen and Ma'chello perfects their masking thingie, then the Re'tu could start spying more directly on the Goa'uld.

This time they were acting as messengers, trying to find any SG team to pass on what the Tok'ra had found out and just so happened upon Robert's team. K-9 acted as their translator and even got a 'good dog Toto' from Robert and several of his men.

I was so moved when I heard that General Hammond was going to send every available SG team. If only most of them were not off world. It's not like we could wait until they get back, nor send our two Re'tu to go and search for them. So it was SG-3, 5, 6 and 11 that were going to go after them. I knew Robert of course, as well as Major Richard Thacher who led SG-6, and met Captain Conner of SG-11. He's especially motivated as SG-1 saved him twice. Once when he was apart of SG-9 as Lt. Conner and then later on at PX4-887, Tonane's planet along with the rest of his team SG-11 as Capt. Conner.

They were motivated, armed for bear and I had expected them to bring SG-1 back. However, hours later General Hammond was talking reinforcements, apparently all did not go well for them. There would be no shortage of volunteers for reinforcements sent. By now, quite a few SG teams had checked in as if they somehow heard that they might be needed. Chris, Lou, Guy, even Dave offered his team to go reinforce the rescue, General Hammond would have SG 2, 7, 8, and 13 ready to act like the cavalry if he gave the word.

It turned out the word wouldn't be given as Washington had another idea, which was to not send in reinforcements. All I could think was Kinsey, it had to be him. But there was no way for me to know and even Toto has range limitation. If General Hammond knew he didn't say either way. Though from the tone I heard him talking about it, he doesn't know for certain.

That's what he did the unexpected. He couldn't send any SG teams, and since he promised reinforcements, he decided to go to Chulak to get them. His plan is to see if Teal'c and Drey'auc had raised the army they had hoped to in order to go find SG-1. If anything, Will assured the General that Robby is like a tank in firepower and protection. Rob alone should add heavy firepower to a team of one Major General George Hammond.

Now I only found out about the General's plans because he asked K-9 to establish a radio link to Robby and soon afterwards I watched as General Hammond head off world to Chulak. Hopefully he'll be able to fulfill his promise to his teams, and they in turn bring SG-1 and my Jack back to me.

Drey'auc's day

I still think it a wonder that no-other Goa'uld had moved to take over Chulak. Perhaps it wasn't considered as important as it was not Apophis' throne world. Still we were ready to do battle upon exiting the Chappa'ai. Soon after our exit Robby assures us no threat existed in the vicinity. However, he did let us know we were not alone.

Teal'c spotted our son first, not showing his pride that Rya'c's skills towards becoming a warrior have increased. I could tell he was proud of our son, but he would not express this as it might spoil his training to even speak of it. As our son approached, we immediately know something was wrong before he starts to babble something about Master Bra'tac. After making sure Rya'c was indeed well, Teal'c raced ahead while I and Robby tended to my son.

Robby fascinated my son with his size and ability to check for injuries by scanning. When Rya'c found out he was built by his Tau'ri friend Will Robinson, his eyes grew wide in away I have not seen in years it seems. His childlike wonder as Sara would put it came back in 'spades', a high number from what I can determine from the way the Tau'ri talk. There was also pride with his Tau'ri friend to make something so much more magnificent than what the false gods could come up with. At least to his eyes.

Once I know Rya'c is well, we traveled to Master Bra'tac's where my son had just escaped from a gathering of former Serpent guards there. Rya'c still felt badly for leaving Master Bra'tac and I had to often remind him of the very story he told us, where he was ordered to go and wait by the Chappa'ai. To make sure no other forces had come through while Jaffa is divided against Jaffa.

When we arrive I see the wounds upon Master Bra'tac and know the next time he orders my son to go, it is likely Rya'c will chose to disobey his tec'ma-te. We stay with Master Bra'tac as my husband and Robby go out in the town. Their return has the air of success, and my husband believe many will come to the meeting tomorrow where Teal'c will speak with them. With Robby as guard, the four of us are able to kel'no reem that night. Tomorrow brings a day for the tongue to win a battle of words to raise an army to go search for SG-1.

I listen to my husband talk, watching with pride as he addresses the throng before him. Glaring at those who will not hear his words, only lay the blame of their woes on the one who would free them from the slavery of the Goa'uld. Young and old, men and women, they listen, or rather they hear and do not fully comprehend what this means.

I could not hold my tongue as some started to walk away. Not when the women were the first to turn from the words of freedom that my husband offered. I started to speak, moving out of the alcove where I and Rya'c stood waiting.

Teal'c flinched, barely noticeable by any who knew him. He did not expect this, Master Bra'tac did not and I am sure Rya'c did not either as he stood astounded as I move forward, my staff weapon upright in hand as my husband carried his. That fact was not lost on any in the assemblage and as one the women stopped, turned and I believe started to listen.

They could see I was armed when it was not appropriate to be so. Women defended, they did not take up arms unless our men had either failed to stop the enemy or another had come while they were away. I say as much, almost making it sound like an apology for appearing before them armed as I am as the words come to me.

"...and I do not apologize for appearing before you today. For I am armed with freedom and no longer have to follow the ways our false god had imposed upon us. I can choose to fight. I can choose to be with my husband and make a stand. I have known the sweetness of standing by my husband as we fought side-by-side as one." Pausing I hear the murmurs, some approving, some disbelieving, others with their sensibilities shocked, yet all were paying attention.

"I speak to you mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, sim'ka. You may enjoy this freedom now. You could choose to use the skills we have cultivated to keep our homes safe and take them to the enemy before the enemy comes to our doorstep, to our families, and to our children."

By now I stood by Teal'c, Bra'tac looking on, everyone watching my every move as I plant my staff weapon and continue to recall my husband's words from just moments before, tailoring them to my tongue, "We shall grow stronger. Together, men and women, husbands and wives, brothers and sisters, we shall grow stronger. Forging alliances with one another and in turn more with other Jaffa beyond the Chappa'ai. Then we shall stand taller than the Goa'uld who uses us as their power. We shall be a power onto ourselves. I ask the words my husband asks of you. Who will join us?"

I could not imagine what the numbers would have been had I let my tongue be stilled. I saw old men who still have life to raise a weapon, and I saw warriors who wear our armor, but most of all I see the small numbers swell as far more women stand with them. Some side-by-side with mates, with fathers and brothers, with sim'ka.

And I see General Hammond which shocks me more than perhaps my family had been that I spoke.

We will not have to search, he knows where SG-1 is and in fact has come to ask if we could help with SG teams all ready sent in to retrieve SG-1. Yet as General Hammond describes what awaits us on the other side of the Chappa'ai Master Bra'tac seems a fire with an idea. He, my husband and General Hammond go to follow his thought while Rya'c, Robby and I wait those who pledged their help to arrive at the Chappa'ai.

Soon I see what could only be a cha'tak. Rya'c has never seen one, and it has been years since my husband came home radiant with excitement having flown one. Few can properly pilot a cha'tak to thread the needle with what Master Bra'tac describes to General Hammond a 'Gate Glider', however it will improve our battle strength as much as Robby and those we have gathered.

Rya'c was not happy about being left behind. Yet Master Bra'tac was adamant, and said his skills were not yet ready for the challenge this combat will present them. I could feel my husband's relief that it was the teacher, not the parents, forbidding his going into this battle. Had it been either Teal'c or myself attempting to reason with our son we might well be discussing it for days.

Finally my husband and General Hammond flew the cha'tak through the Chappa'ai, with Robby and then the rest of us following. The two Staff towers are dealt with quickly as the cha'tak takes out one, Robby the other, the rest of us charge and fire at the mixture of elite guards that are in the service of Hathor apparently.

Serpent, Horus, Jackal of Anubis, Unas mask of Sokar, Dragon of Yu, Yoruba mask of Olokun, Noh mask of Amaterasu, Crocodile of Sobek, Minotaurs of Cronus, so many gathered under Hathor as if she were a Supreme System Lord. It later we find that O'Neill cured her of that delusion with her death. Again the Tau'ri lead the way of victory, there can be no doubt of their prowess and their eventual leading us to freedom.

Sha're's story

Qetesh has 'asked' my demon to her court. We find that she wishes to boast how wise my demon had been to accept her hospitality. She teases my demon implying news of a Tau'ri victory weeks ago has many System Lords talking. My demon in turn toys with implications of the treasure she would share with Qetesh and she relents to tell my demon the news.

Hathor is dead.

She had captured SG-1 in her attempt to gain information about the System Lords. Information the Antianeirai would not share and she dare not try other ways as it had been discovered she took elite guards from all over the Goa'uld Empire. The demons Anubis and Sokar did not care so much, and the likely dead Apophis had no say in the matter. However, Cronus, Yu, Heru-ur, and Sobek very much did object.

I realized before my demon that there was more than merely the boasting of 'good judgment' to leave Hathor and ally with Qetesh. She now enjoys the service of Serpent guards that were once in my demon's lord's service. I feel her fury each time my demon sees them on either side of Qetesh on her throne. They are a constant reminder of the price she had to pay for the 'good sense' to accept the hospitality of Qetesh.

Qetesh informs my demon that we shall have visitors coming. Two will be from the court of Cronus. Out of the two of them Athena, Qetesh warns my demon, will wish to curry favor and will accompany her sister Aphrodite on this visit. She suspects that Aphrodite wishes to confirm the death of Hathor, of whom my demon informs me they were bitter rivals.

My demon also wishes to see Aphrodite as that demon is thought to be one of the possible demons responsible for my demon's former host being 'poisoned'. That word is what she sneers that my 'primitive mind' could comprehend of na-no-cytes that a Sarcophagus could not heal her from. So my demon's lord removed her from her host before she died and placed my demon in a loyal Jaffa.

In the quietness of my mind I realize that whoever poisoned my demon earlier is the reason I was taken. My demon's lord went immediately to search for a new host for Amonet and I was among those abducted. I soon find out that I was not Teal'c's first choice. While I do not blame the Jaffa for doing what he had to, I know now that he might have been trying to shield me by choosing Tau'ri woman in my place. What blame I did have for Teal'c was laid to rest after meeting him for that short time on Abydos, and meeting his wife, Drey'auc. I know she will look after my Dan'yel as Teal'c will look after O'Neill.

The arrival of Kishijoten is a surprise to my demon who expected Amaterasu. Because other than Athena, the rest of the demons gathered here are queen-mothers. Amonet is somewhat mollified as Kishijoten brought along her geisha that my demon is looking forward to being well entertained by. Entertainment might explain why their faces are painted white for I see no other reason for it, nor does my demon explain. I think she does not know and will not admit her lack of knowledge.

Finally Cliodhna arrived from the court of Camulus with some of the most unusual attendants I have seen so far in my captivity. Tiny winged women that fluttered around her singing her praises. If I had mastery of my own body my mouth would gape at the sight. So small, nearly a cubit tall with wingspans just over two cubits wide. My demon senses this amazement and informs me that Cliodhna created these cha'tar. It is what gods and goddesses do, create life or end it. I quietly pretend to accept her statement, she would go on and on otherwise. There are better thoughts to think about.

Dan'yel would ask so many questions now and I would love hearing his theories as he shared his thoughts. He would explain what the word geisha means and why they attend Kishijoten. He would tell me what a fairy is and why my demon calls them cha'tar in her mind. She also calls them spies and I have doubt they would make good ones. They are so small, can fly, they could go many places Human, Jaffa or Goa'uld could not.

Athena starts to question Kishijoten why she is here in place of Amaterasu, a question my demon wants an answer to as well, when Aphrodite interrupts by asking my demon about her clothing. My demon beams with the compliment one moment, suspect treachery the next. Convinced that she was going to once more copy her style back among the court of Cronus and claim she came up with it.

Amonet seethes thinking of the time Aphrodite stole her favorite perfume and only calms when she recalls that Aphrodite just could never achieve the regal look my demon had cultivated for millennia. She knows she must remain calm, for while Aphrodite appears purely vain and vacuous on the surface, beneath that she is an intelligent, ruthlessly cunning and a master deceiver. She is perhaps the most dangerous of the queen-mothers at this gathering.

I find my demon has definite opinions on each of the queen-mothers visiting, boasting that none could match her splendor that she defines the very essence of being a queen. All the others try to comfort themselves with vain attempts of displaying some facet of self conceit, and such gatherings are typically only for the purpose of showing theirs to the others.

Cliodhna typically flaunts her intelligence, Qetesh her allure, Amaterasu her grandeur, reminding the rest of us that she rules on her own without a lord and Aphrodite wants to make sure everyone acknowledges that she is the most beautiful.

She could very well be the one who poisoned us. For once my demon and I have a common goal to find out who it was. I want to know which demon was responsible for taking me from my home and my Dan'yel.

Author's notes;

Goa'uld-Jaffa language lesson--sim'ka means 'fiance(e)', or 'betrothed' and cha'tak I made up, the 'cha' as in Chappa'ai as in the Stargate, it also is used to mean small or young and adding a 'tak at the end as two ship types Ha'tak and Tel'tak have. I also made up cha'tar the 'cha' meaning small and the 'tar seem to mean human.

You'll notice a lot more of the helmeted Jaffa mask in this one as unlike the show, fanfics don't have to worry about budget. So instead of just letting them fade into the background as they had to do in the series, I can have the System Lords with their own Jaffa masked guards. So with these stories more than Apophis' Serpent Guards and Heru-ur's Horus, or even the movie's Anubis helmeted guard for Ra will show up.

Aphrodite's character as described in this chapter is a creation of LightningCount for the fanfic series "Stargate: Invasion" by Some guy.

The fairies are from another fanfic series "Don't Call Me Tinkerbell!" by Livi2Jack. And lest anyone think I've fallen off the scifi wagon, Livi did come up with an excellent rational for a fairy in Stargate that is not supernatural nor ignores physics;

They have many nodules of brain-like tissue all along their spinal cord and even in other areas of their bodies. These nodes a kind of neural net. They have two hearts and an air sac in their body cavity linked to their lungs to give them oxygen on both inhalation and exhalation. They have bones that are mostly hollow and gossamer wings.

Again for Sha're I went with cubits. Here are the measurements taken from Livi's stories of the 'fairy' in her story; 11 inches tall and a wing span of 3.5 feet.


	2. SG2 for 2

Interlude SG-2 for 2

Sara's diary

Lou was with General Hammond for quite a while after everyone got back from rescuing Jack and SG-1. Longer than he was with Teal'c in fact, which had base gossip making all sorts of guesses on what they talked about. Jack didn't say specifically, but he did let me know that General Hammond did not inform anyone outside the base know that Teal'c had quit the SGC.

I agree with Jack seeing how some from the Pentagon works that it was a good thing as they would have made things difficult getting him reinstated. Jack was sure one Colonel Algernon Kennedy would make another try to haul Teal'c off to Washington, likely not to return.

Vin and JD caught up to me and let me know that General Hammond had called Will into the meeting he was holding with Lou. Sam's cousin had a speculation it might be about assigning Will to an SG team, and with Lou in there, likely SG-2. Will had been going through whatever training is required before letting one on a team, so it's likely that JD is right about that. The boys left me waiting with Drey'auc while they headed to the commissary and continued guessing why was summoned.

It is great to have Drey'auc back as I missed her a lot when she was away. Catching up with her was almost like when we first met. I think being back among other Jaffa reset her to reticent mode and so getting her to talk was more a question-answer session at first. In the end, it reminded me that while Drey'auc seems very human, she isn't and I need to respect that. It was exciting hearing her give essentially a women's lib speech on Chulak. As I understood from Jack and the others their rescue party had more women than men among the Jaffa. Drey'auc may have started a second kind of revolution than merely against the Goa'uld.

Sam finally confirmed why Will was in a meeting with Lou. Airman Will Robinson was offered a place on SG-2, with the understanding that he and Robby will be the core of SG-2, other members could be added or rotated out as needed. The reason the talk took so long was not just setting up the structure of SG-2, but to talk Lou into sticking around with it. From what I understand, Lou is applying to go to the moon base being constructed that may also operate teams from it, but will stick around to be Will's CO until someone else could be assigned.

Of course this was yet another excuse for Jack to suggest another barbecue. Which would let this event combine the announcing our engagement officially, a welcome back, a congratulations and general celebration of life get-together.

Drey'auc's day

Robby greets me in the manner of my people with a clear "Tek'ma'tek Drey'auc" to which I give the traditional response and find he has much to say to me today. O'Neill treats him as only an object, a machine I believe he has said, but in this one is a soul of a warrior regardless of what makes up his body. I think Teal'c agrees with me, though he would never contradict O'Neill casually, neither of us would.

Robby is clearly excited about the possibility to join a SG team, a hope I share with him. I know I have earned the right to do so myself and found the times I have gone with my husband into battle wonderful. Yet tradition still calls for me to stand by and wait for him to return and for now I give that way of life its due.

Airman Robinson will be the one that is paired with Robby, and from what I understand Robby saying, their leadership will be whoever is available as their official duties are heavy assault and technical support.

K-9 joins us with the waiting for the words to come from General Hammond, Sara soon after she finishes sharing a cup of coffee with O'Neill. Though that must be another Tau'ri figure of speech as I have noticed both of them guard their beverages against others partaking of them in the early morning. Therefore it is unlikely that they actually share the same cup of coffee. However I should leave that as a possibility as they do not guard their cups as zealously as Daniel Jackson or at other times I have noticed Captain Carter is like that. Typically late at night I would find her seeking coffee.

There are nights with Sara gone to her home that I have spent in the company of Captain Carter after Teal'c and I have finished kel'noreem for the evening and my husband wishes time in the gym to exercise. I have the time of doing so in the morning with the women on the base, often the marines when he is away with SG-1. Some of those times are spent here talking with Robby as Captain Carter shares questions with him during some of our visits, other visits are spent with her talking to Robby and not expecting an answer. Robby has explained to me separately that humans like to discuss a problem out loud and it helps if they have an audience that does not interrupt them.

Major Ferretti and Airman Robinson finally leave General Hammond's office and make their way to us. Airman Robinson has a large smile on his face, while the smile Major Ferretti has may be classified as what Sara would say is a smirk. He briefly follows the practice of O'Neill's calling K-9 "Toto" before greeting the rest of us in turn before he looks up and welcomes Robby to SG-2.


	3. Seth

Seth

Sara's diary

Ed has finally returned from his latest expedition out in the world spin doctoring SGC strangeness into something the public will hopefully believe. Mary will hopefully be happy about his return, as she tends towards being sour when he's away. It didn't help that this time he went to New York in the wake of our visit there. The fact that Jack took me was not lost on her and I'm sure poor Ed was hard pressed to explain why he couldn't take Mary.

This foreshadows some future unpleasantness coming my way. Mary's already a bit resentful that I know what Jack is doing while she doesn't have the clearance to know what Ed is doing. It was easy enough to not really be an issue during visits with her, but with the upcoming remarriage with Jack that means going back into the world of military wives and our relationship changes from just friends to peers.

It wouldn't be too bad if General Hammond's wife was still alive, then she would be the top of the pecking order, sadly she's not and for the last couple of years it had been Mary as it goes to the wife whose husband has the senior rank. So far that has been Colonel Ed Stryker as the senior officer among the married officers attached to the SGC. That changes when Jack and I get married as Jack is senior to Ed. I don't think Mary is going to appreciate being usurped by the wife who has the clearance to know what her husband is doing.

In this case Ed was working on the clean up of the whole Hecate affair, the reports of 'odd weather patterns' over the hotel we had stayed at, as well as cover the NID wanting to confiscate the building as it was discovered that the beams in it were laced with naquada. Hecate didn't randomly chose that hotel, and had in earlier host built to eventually use to help her form a kind of psychic Stargate. That's what SG-13's team of parapsychologist think, Sam just rolls her eyes about the explanation, but hasn't come up with a good one herself.

That really frustrates her with a certain Major Venkman needling her for a 'scientific' explanation. I knew Peter could be a jerk, but he's taking it over-the-top I think. I'm not sure I understand what Dana sees in him, but they still have been seeing each other since New York and their relocation to Colorado Springs.

Random thoughts I should put aside with Sam's dad visiting and whose timing seems about as random as my thoughts. From what I understand he brought along a mystery of a Goa'uld who may have been hiding out on Earth since the Stargate was buried thousands of years ago. Not a pretty picture to think about, though I agree with Sam, this couldn't be the sole reason General Carter is back. A nearly moody Sam confirmed that suspicion at lunch as it seems her father is here to take care of unresolved issues with his son, Mark. Selmak the symbiote in him wants to get this settled so they can move on.

Claire and Daniel perform the miracle of actually finding the Goa'uld, surprising everyone. Though for me, the biggest surprise was the fact Jaffa had jokes and how hard both Drey'auc and Teal'c could laugh. I always suspected they could, but it wasn't until Teal'c told his joke about a Serpent guards, a Horus guard and a Setesh guard that I received any sort of confirmation. I think our next cultural exchange session is going to be about Jaffa jokes.

I have to admit, I didn't get the Teal'c told, but they did and I ended up being one of only two humans in the room to laugh. Not because I found the joke funny, but Teal'c has this infectious laugh that it was hard not to laugh just because he was laughing. I think that was the reason Claire started to laugh too, I'm sure she didn't get Teal'c's joke either, but with that deep base laugh of Teal'c's I found it hard not to put a smile on my face if not laughter from my belly.

This had never happened the other times she was allowed to go with the team, but this time I found myself trying not to be resentful that Drey'auc got to go out with the boys and Sam when they flew out to track down this Goa'uld, Seth. I wasn't going to begrudge her going, not after the speech she gave back on Chulak and what brought me up short was the fact that I found I starting to act just like Mary does towards me. That pretty much stomped out any ill feelings within me, I wasn't going to even think about treating Drey'auc as Mary does me.

So I was able to sincerely and warmly hug and welcome Drey'auc back when everyone returned from their Goa'uld hunt.

Drey'auc's day

Both Teal'c and I found it puzzling that Tau'ri parents do not love their children unconditionally. General Carter tries to explain but we both find it hard to grasp. It is another matter that illustrates how different the Tau'ri are to Jaffa. They can grasp our humor though, and at first I didn't think they could from the blank expressions earlier that just about everyone had after Teal'c told quite a funny joke yet no-one but Sara and Claire Jackson joined us laughing. It was quite puzzling.

Seeing this new part of the Tau'ri world was exciting. Flat plains with grass or some kind of grain all around was so different from the forest of Chulak or the barren waste where we went to rescue SG-1. From the stronghold of the false god Seth, I now think that the Goa'uld like to have trees around for Seth's land has many around it unlike the flat grassy plains beyond its perimeter.

I found it hard to put this whole trip into proper perspective after we returned with another false god dead. Captain Carter used a ribbon device to kill Seth, which would add another weapon to our arsenal, yet instead of practicing to learn to master it, she puts it aside like the healing device. I am sure Janet Frasier would like to have someone who knew how to work the latter as a matter of routine instead of sporadically.

In contrast, Kel'noreem is not so difficult to obtain that night because of the puzzles we encountered today. Teal'c and I catch each other opening an eye to look as we try and meditate. Each time our eyes meet, the slow rumble of laughter threatens to bubble up again as we both think back to the joke Teal'c told.

It really was quite funny.

Sha're's story

Qetesh announced that two more visitors are coming to talk about the demise of Hathor. One will bring recent news from their fairy spies, which my demon equates to mean the news, will be from the court of Camulus. The other nearly causes the rest of the demon's to start firing upon it. I do not know why the name Shadows bothers my demon, but whatever the reason everyone calms down after their ship vanishes.

Amonet only says what the other demons do, that it has been over seven hundred years since a Goa'uld has seen a ship of the Shadows. It is worrisome as it seems to be in league with a visitor, which causes my demon to draw conclusions she does not like. A conclusion of who the visitor is, one none of the demons expected to hear from again.

Hecate strolls in and my demon just knows she must be accompanied by two of her hounds. It is said she always has two hounds of darkness beside her starting after the days when she ceased to be among Seth's court. It is also said she was left on the first world when the Chappa'ai was buried after the uprising against Ra. Many demons whisper that she is the one who prompted Seth to turn against Ra and that it was after her hounds whispered into her ears to do so.

Aphrodite is the first to speak, and of course it is about the new look Hecate has. Dark coloring upon her lips and fingernails, an almost marble white skin tone and dressed all in black. Hecate is known for weaving spells and I see that the demons are no more resistant than what my demon say mortals would be. They gather around as she tells them of lip-stick and nail polish, explaining her look is called Go-thic among the women of the Tau'ri.

Athena scoffs at the look, but the rest of the demons gather and ask Hecate questions about it. I even find my demon thinking of how she might look with this Go-thic style and I wonder since these are the 'beauty aides' of the Tau'ri, would my Dan'yel find me prettier with them. My demon is so distracted about her own vanity that she allows me to imagine how my Dan'yel would like to see me so adorned and I listen as the demon Hecate tells of the Tau'ri cos-me-tics.

So rapt was our attention, especially the demon Aphrodite that we miss an arriving queen's entrance. Pulled away, Amonet and I disgustingly share a frown, and then I am alarmed that I found myself in agreement from the demon who stole my life, and my Dan'yel from me. My demon hisses in her mind that the newcomer almost dresses as grandly as she does, or so she believes. She gasps in our mind as recognition settles in her senses and she explains just who the new demon is. Anput of the exiled court of Anubis has been more ally than enemy over the years she has known Amonet.

She leaves her Anubis guards outside of Qetesh's throne room, but from the bow Hecate gives her, it is obvious whom Hecate serves now. Unlike other queens, but quite like Ra and Heru-ur, Anput does sometime wear a masking helmet, Anubis helmet of course, like her lord. For our meeting she retracts it gazing about to remind us she is a queen like most of us are.

My demon spots a retort on Aphrodite's lips, who wants to get back to discussing how to make her look more beautiful. A thought my demon shares, but not upon her face as Aphrodite dares. For while Anput is exiled, few would wish to cross her and her lord who may be coming back into power as Sokar has done.

Cliodhna interrupts a possible conflict as a fairy lands upon her shoulder to whisper in her ear. Epona has arrived from the court of Camulus and my demon wishes to see if she comes riding a beast called a horse. All but Anput and Hecate also wishes to see the latest breed of horse of Epona's. Where Cliodhna has worked with breeding cha'tar, Epona has with horses over the centuries and has exported them to other Goa'ulds both minor and System Lord making Camulus rich as some of his mines would.

We see Epona riding upon her horse as we gather at a balcony of Qetesh's palace. Jaffa line up in honor to receive her, and even Aphodite pauses her questioning of Hecate to watch as horse and rider slowly walk up to and onto the palace grounds. Soon Epona strolls into the throne room and inclines her head to Qetesh as the host before surprising my demon by walking right up to her.

Horrified, I listen to Epona's announcement that a delegation will be sent to the Tau'ri to negotiate with the Asgard and that Amonet is to join them on behalf of the Shadows for something called the Vorlons will also be in attendance. Of course my demon reveals in the position of power this will give her, and her distraction lets me push my question of why from her lips.

It is a question the others have as well, for others wished to know why they were not given this position. Aphodite in particular demanded she be the one in Amonet's stead. She wanted to go to the world of the Tau'ri for its beauty secrets. Epona opens her mouth to reply when Anput raises her hand and the other demon actually silences. Walking up to us, she seems to look right through Amonet, into her, to me, her words I feel are addressed to me though she speaks to all.

Words spoken in spite, words meant to hurt me, but worst of all words describing a plan to hurt my Dan'yel. For the System Lords wish to send Amonet is to torment Daniel Jackson with her very presence as no weapon will be allowed on the place of negotiation. Amonet is to be a weapon, one that may just create a distraction that would cause the negotiations to break-down making sure that the System Lords will win.

Author's note; the actual premise to send Amonet among the delegation that will be arriving at the SGC in the episode "Fair Game" is from a story of LE McMurray called "Games". Shadows mentioned here are indeed the Shadows of Babylon 5 fame, though altered to fit into this overall story and version of the Stargate universe.


	4. Epona

Epona

Sara's diary

Home, home on the range brings all new pictures after this latest trip to Captain Chris Larabee's ranch just outside of Phoenix, Arizona. It was a combination of training time and I suppose outing for the off worlders. Both Teal'c and Drey'auc had looked forward to the trip, with Buck taking them out to buy cowboy hats. Our Jaffa couple was quite the pair, Teal'c looked great in the one he chose, as did Drey'auc though she couldn't decide on just one at first so she picked several to wear. Vin looked forward to a visit his horse that Chris put up at his ranch, the visiting Tok'ra only vaguely knew what to expect.

What prompted all of this preparation is that an upcoming joint mission with the Tok'ra to a world run by a Goa'uld called Epona. Her provinces are not only no where close to a Stargate, they often are spread out and require horses to travel between them. She doesn't allow aircraft unless it is absolutely necessary and even then it had better be traveling to her parked Ha'tak and not to any of her settlements. So those who don't know how to ride a horse would stick out if not fail utterly to get anywhere quickly.

What the trip to PXA-460 proved is that not everyone is comfortable on horseback. So Chris offered his ranch and lessons, much to one Dr. Nathan Jackson's relief and to think of it, mine too. Jacob lead the Tok'ra delegation that included Martouf and that made Sam a very happy woman. I wonder if they're going to work on that spark I see between them. I can understand her hesitating, we are talking a romance with someone from another world, and confusion with how much the attraction is from what was Jolinar and what Sam has. Still, as Jack and I learned, life is short, she may not wish to take too long to think about it.

I'm not sure if it was Teal'c's first visit to the ranch or after Jack's western movie night, but either or both had Drey'auc asking me about learning to ride a horse. She wanted to go, which meant I had to go. We're friends so I'd want to go, but she's also still my primary job with the SGC.

Drey'auc did better than I did, or Nathan for that matter with riding for the first time. Some Tok'ra did better than others, it depended on if any of their host or symbiote had ever even heard of a horse or the concept of riding an animal. Unlike them, I had heard of horses and while I'm not sure about these days, they did seem to be part of a phase every girl goes through growing up. Not to mention having watched plenty of westerns growing up as I did catch the tail end of the western phase of television.

That said, yes I'm a rural girl, but my growing up was helping dad around the garage he owned, not on a farm that might have stables attached. Ask me to drive a tow truck, and I'm your girl, ask me about riding horses and I'd give you a blank look, or make some comment about Roy Rogers. With all of that background I still spent more time watching Drey'auc or Jack riding than learning to ride myself.

I suspect Janet saw more than one movie growing up, and she also had gone through the horse phase as a girl. Cassie is about the right age, which explains part of her excitement being out here. She had also watched some westerns with Janet during one of their mother-daughter bonding times. Buck took particular like to getting her a cowboy hat of her own. Janet originally did come along just to be the medic, and we weren't getting her up on a horse until Cassie insisted that she try to learn at the same time she did. It really shouldn't have been a surprise that she did so well. Janet may be the shortest of us, but unlike some of the riders she didn't balk in showing the horse who was boss.

I think she was getting to like it near the end, though she was unlikely to get Cassie a pony as much as Chris volunteered to make sure it was a good one. All in all both daughter and mother did have a great time learning to ride together.

Janet was far more enthusiastic about square dancing, though like me surprised that it was Drey'auc who asked about it. Jack was trying to talk Teal'c and Daniel to provide a united front to deny her, but Teal'c wouldn't go along and while he didn't say it in so many words I think he was curious to what square dancing might be like.

Josiah turned out to be a good fiddler, and Buck just called out the dance like a pro. Not that I know what a professional square dance caller would sound like, just what movies I grew up watching. Martouf had a wide smile throughout the dance, Cassie giggled her way through it, and JD was adorable taking the time to be her first partner. I don't know who arranged for Vin to be her second partner, but the boys were making her feel like a little princess, I'm sure of it.

Speaking of princess, and not that she was acting like one, it was just that I noticed Sam certainly had her share of dance partners. Martouf of course, he learned how to square dance with her, then her father, Jack took a whirl with her, and Claire made sure Daniel did, with Teal'c making it a team event. JD and I were sure Vin was going to blush to his roots when it was time for him to get to dance with Sam. She has quite the following on base, Vin and Will being admiring her differently than her hero-worshipping cousin JD.

Chris did let Buck get a chance to dance, and under Teal'c's tolerant gaze, Drey'auc had the first dance, then he did the circuit, me, Cassie, Claire, Raine, Sam of course, finishing with Janet. From the stunned faces following that couple I think we were more amazed that she let him be her partner. Janet had not indulged any of his flirting that anyone knew of. It was a shame Ezra couldn't join us, but as nice as he's been, as good as he's done, he still committed a pretty big national security offense. It might be a very long time before he's allowed out of the mountain beyond going offworld with SG-7.

I did love the bonfire that Chris set up that last Saturday night of our stay there on the ranch. Great cuddle time with Jack with the large roaring fire and I think Teal'c and Drey'auc were also actually displaying some affection between each other in public. It seems our two Jaffa are being thoroughly corrupted by their Tau'ri associations.

Martouf certainly seem as if he wanted to be corrupted that way. I wasn't watching the too much, and so I don't know if they ended up cuddled together or not, but when last I looked he and Sam were awfully close to one another around the bonfire.

Claire was trying to keep her son from feeling too melancholy, I didn't hear all of the conversation, but Jack was there for part of it. Daniel wanted to share this with Sha're, the riding, the bonfire, the different sort of desert around Phoenix, and Jack assured him he would. Chris promised to make sure they had time to come here and do just that. In essence, the teams were there for Daniel.

During our stay Drey'auc had insisted on doing as many 'western' things as possible. Buck taught her how to use a lasso, Vin with some trick riding, and wouldn't you know it, she was getting good at it and much to my relief, Chris didn't have any horses that needed breaking in. Drey'auc had wanted to ride a bucking bronco, and I shot a look at Chris and Jack when they hinted maybe next time, Jack shot another look back.

His was amused gaze, those gorgeous eyes of his sparkling with mischief as he fished out car keys from his pocket and wiggled them around, reminding me of Drey'auc's driving lessons. He's right, I didn't have to teach her a how to do a bootleg turn. With that reminder I had to concede the point of perhaps riding a bucking horse may not be that wild an idea after all. That aside Jack and I did join our Jaffa couple for one thing westernly that I thought was very romantic with the right man by my side.

They did both insist on riding into the sunset one night.

Drey'auc's Kel'noreem

It was glorious! The wind running through my hair, the thunder of the hooves beneath me, the magnificent beast carried me at speeds across the landscape stained with red of the setting sun. Not everyday as Captain Larabee's schedule of training was often from early light to sunset. Each night I found it hard to settle my thoughts for kel'noreem from the excitement of the day.

Captain Carter took us into Phoenix to shop for the right things to wear for our horseback riding to go along with the cowboy hat Commander Wilmington had given my husband and I. We went to several merchants before finding 'jeans' that fit someone as tall as I and I noticed just like when we shopped for cowboy boots, the shopkeepers often just stared at me. I rather enjoyed that almost as much as Teal'c looming over them soon afterwards. Captain Carter gaped herself and then blushed when I asked about getting halter-tops, yet we did spend some time finding 'the right ones', yet she did not acquiesced to my request to shop for 'daisy dukes'. Sara explained that was country not western, though I thought I heard the term used together in some context.

Sara also told me dancing square was not on the schedule Captain Larabee originally laid out for us, but after hearing of my interest, Commander Wilmington talked to him into adding it to our schedule. That meant another trip into the city to shop for dresses to dance squarely with. It did mystify me when Sara and O'Neill looked oddly when Teal'c and I wanted to have one set of attire with rhinestones in them. Still they obliged if only with the promise from O'Neill that we only wear them at the ranch and not in public. I do not know why, but it must be a Tau'ri custom surrounding the wearing of rhinestone laced garments.

O'Neill suggested we let Sara sleep in on several mornings that Captain Larabee offered to teach Teal'c and I how to shoot six-guns, though O'Neill corrected me that the weapon is called a six-gun despite its clear singularity. We did know enough reality and fiction to never think of challenging an enemy to a show up, to 'Call them out'. Jaffa are taught to not fight fairly outside of an official duel. Though to me it did appear that a show up, O'Neill kept saying show down, is what a Jaffa would call a duel. Customs of the Tau'ri are strange.

I also enjoy their dancing square. It was fun to whirl to the beat, stomp feet and move to the steps Commander Wilmington called out. Jaffa did not have such dances as our celebrations were more to worship whichever particular false god we had to serve. Most Goa'uld had specific dancers picked out among the humans, to do so ourselves was unheard of. This is another custom I must share with my sisters and the rest of the Jaffa. One day we shall dance to the beat of freedom.

Teal'c did not object to one Tau'ri custom we observed O'Neill and Sara partaking of, and that is holding one another in the presence of a large fire. We have seen it on some films shown more when Claire Jackson, Captain Carter, Sara, Doctor Frasier or Cassandra Frasier choose the movie rather than O'Neill, or Daniel Jackson.

So now we kel'noreem on the last night before we return to the stronghold. Out on a mesa in the dying light of the sunset. Captain Larabee and O'Neill arranged for us and Vin-ko-taneck-o-pentay to have the opportunity to climb and reach this place where my husband and I could kel'noreem together before our return to our fight with the Goa'uld from the provinces of Epona to the fortress of Sokar.


	5. Fair Game

Fair Game

Sara's diary

It was certainly an exciting day, with the good old SGC weirdness magnet adding its twist to what should have been Sam's day to shine in the sun. Even if the sun doesn't shine down in the SGC. She looked great in her uniform and I could tell Jack was proud of her. I saw it in his eyes right up to the point where he disappeared in a flash of light.

After that heart stopping moment I couldn't really give a good account. I remember Drey'auc there, Janet, Claire, Daniel with everyone else rushing all around us after General Hammond declared a code 9. K-9 said something then that no one heard in all the bustling going on, and I remember vaguely bending down to hear 'Toto' repeat it. Fortunately Janet, Drey'auc and Claire also heard, with the former standing up and shouting for attention. For such a little woman, she has some lung power.

General Hammond was over in a shot with Sam, Teal'c and Daniel. Toto, as Jack calls K-9, informed us Jack was caught up in a teleportation beam. I forget who first said 'Transporter', ala Star Trek of course, but that caught on quick with General Hammond asking K-9 (he has yet to call him Toto) if he knew where the beam took Jack. He did know, and the answer wasn't much comfort, apparently Jack was beamed into orbit.

K-9's analysis beat Jack coming back by moments. In fact, I think Daniel enjoyed beating Jack's explanation of where he was with the Asgard. I had to bite back a laugh when Jack mock scowled at Daniel for 'spoiling' his 'surprise', but I think Jack made it up with the news he brought.

Not that I got to hear it as the next thing I knew -I- was the one in orbit. I'm sure my mouth hung open as I gaped while looking down at the Earth. I can only imagine Jack was having that aforementioned heart attack as he was looking right at me when I was 'beamed' up by our alien Scotty. At least Jack would have Toto to explain what happened.

Next gape of the day came when I met 'Scotty', who turned out to be a Roswell Grey who called himself Thor. I had read the reports of course and knew what an Asgard is, however seeing the reality left me speechless. I'm pretty sure I was stammering as he called me 'Mrs. O'Neill' as further words stumbled out of my mouth as I tried to explain 'not yet' and the concept of divorce and remarriage. I'm getting the idea that such concepts are well alien to the rest of the galaxy. I'm not sure what sort of statement that makes about humanity, or Earth humanity that is.

Anyway, I didn't get the reason why Thor was here, Jack had that and Thor was not inclined to repeat whatever he told Jack. He only let me know that I was to act as the cultural attaché to the Vorlon representative. Thor didn't explain what a Vorlon was only that they had claim to this territory as well as a group called the Shadows and the Yautja. Thor didn't explain it to me, but the impression I had at that time was that they were going to send a representative to a summit. My job was to assist the Vorlon ambassador Kosh Naranek.

I think I blurted out the question 'why me' to Thor sometime after the shock of what he was asking of me settled and he calmly answered my question with a question that am I not the cultural attaché of the Jaffa, Drey'auc and the Corel-ain, Vin-ko-taneck-o-pentay? To which both I answered yes of course and before I got another word out 'Scotty' beamed me back down.

So for once, I got to sit in on a conference meeting with Jack and SG-1, not to mention the Secretary of Defense. Jack went first to explain what Thor told him that there would be a meeting coming up as the Goa'uld were coming to talk turkey with us. Well those weren't his words of course. That's just me not saying what the meeting was really about. That sort of news would get depressing even years from now if I read this passage again.

We had four days, and lots to do to get ready for company. Since the Yautja were showing up, Teal'c suggested that Drey'auc be present in the welcoming committee and maybe act as his or her assistant just like I am with Kosh. Which meant my workload went up as I would likely assist her assisting whomever the Yautja sent. I was so glad when I found out Daniel would be helping with each of the groups.

Nor was he alone coming to the help with the non-diplomatic O'Neill's, Major Stan Kovacek of SG-9 was coaching Jack when Daniel wasn't and Josiah was also giving me a hand. Actually it more a pep talk than any actual diplomatic advice. We've never heard of Vorlons and no idea what they would be like, though I understand he, assuming Kosh is a he, would be coming in their version of a spacesuit, called an 'Encounter suit'. Thor passed on information from them that confirmed with us their encounter suits are very much needed as the Vorlons are apparently heavy methane, sulfur, and CO2 breathers. Janet, Maureen and Judy were going to have a few tanks of that mixture ready in case an accident happened.

Now the others coming to the summit were not so much in love with the Earth and wanted to defend it as they were their previous treaties with the Goa'uld. From what Thor told us, the Yautja want to protect their 'hunting grounds' and that has a lot of us worried about what they mean given what Teal'c and Drey'auc told us about them. The Shadows and Vorlons were no better as they considered this region of space a war zone, like a kind of Romulan Neutral Zone as Jack phrased it, and the Goa'uld were not to send a fleet of ships through it lest they be considered allies of one side or the other between the Vorlons and Shadows.

Apparently this was the reason that the Goa'uld have left us alone for the last 10,000 years, only having a 'right of passage' which is what Apophis made us of and the reason why he 'only' sent two ships, one of his and one of Klorel's. Yes technically his, but to the Vorlons or Shadows, the second ship belonged to 'another Goa'uld' and not considered a fleet. Not the most altruistic reasons we've been left alone, but it worked for us as Jack would say.

Thor wasn't forthcoming with the names of either the Yautja or 'the Shadows' representative, and I have to say 'Shadows' is a pretty presumptuous name, a cliché in a way. Thor promptly cleared that up as Jack did make a comment to that effect. Actually Jack's comment was wittier, as Jack is wont to make, and Thor shot it down just as calmly as he did anything by telling us their own name for themselves is ten thousand letters long and unpronounceable by us. Thor actually did pronounce it and Jack just gave him that adorable nonplus expression of his and said 'oh'. I love that man.

There would be four different incoming wormholes, with the Goa'uld showing up first. Arrogant gits, and yes I have been watching too many British sitcoms, Daniel told us nothing was acceptable to them. There was definitely more going on than was being said and it had something to do with Teal'c. Some commotion about security cameras aside, I know Drey'auc and I had been married to Jack long enough to spot a look I know I've worn on my face regarding Colonel Frank Cromwell. This Cronus and Teal'c have had history and Drey'auc wasn't happy about him being here.

The Yautja were next and this one made Teal'c and Drey'auc look small as he strode in. He didn't say anything to anyone as all seven feet plus tall of him strode down the ramp only paying attention to General Hammond until he was done and then turning to look over at Drey'auc. While he didn't say a thing to the General he did to her. Not that anyone of us understood what he was saying, that is none of the humans in the gateroom. Both Jaffa did inclining their heads to the Yautja elder, who Drey'auc turned to inform us is called Dachande.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be until Sha're, excuse me, Amonet stepped through the gate. I wasn't the only one in shock that she was the one representing the Shadows and nearly missed what Toto was trying to tell us as we watch her smugly walk down the ramp. Apparently there were two other 'beings' with her, invisible like the Re'tu, whom she informed us are the Shadows.

In fairness, if one could call anything the Goa'uld called was fair, they did say one of their number was going to represent the Shadows, whose territory Earth currently falls in.

When Amonet said the Shadows could be seen with effort, General Hammond asked if they would do so. I wish he hadn't. They were like black preying mantis with shoulder spines, flat triangle heads and fourteen eyes. I didn't really want to look at them too long to and even thinking about them now to write this diary entry sends shivers down my spine and makes me want to find Jack to have him hold me. I think I'll have plenty of nightmares just thinking about them. For some reason my mind noted that while Charlie's mom the Re'tu was less prettier than the Shadows, these Shadows have a vibe that just screams horror.

I was glad just to end up not screaming.

Fortunately, or not from Danny's point of view, I focused on Daniel to try to support. His face had gone white as a sheet when he saw Amonet. I don't think anyone knew she was coming, or expected and just one glance at Jack I could see he was steaming about that. This was no coincidence, someone out there had arranged for Amonet to come -just- to hurt Daniel, and even if was by chance Jack knew what this was going to do to his best friend, all of us did.

Our last arrival was nearly anti-climatic. Whatever I expected to walk through the gate it wasn't what I expected. Kosh Naranek, the ambassador from the Vorlon Empire, more glided in and down the ramp than walk, it was kinda creepy. His 'encounter suit' was like no spacesuit I ever expected to see either as it seemed all robes draped from some organic looking collar-ring-shoulder pads thingies, and he had this elongated helmet head with an iris single eye at the front part of it. When he spoke something below the front part of that collar thingie sparkled.

Unlike the others he took a moment and looked up at us, his gaze the longest on Jack, then Daniel and finally on Drey'auc of all people. I think it was the new glyph on her forehead as Kosh's gaze seemed focused on it. All in all not what I expected meeting other aliens as they were definitely not just 'men in rubber suits' like the old movies.

Jack was able to slip an affectionate squeeze of my elbow before I left with Kosh and I saw Claire give Daniel a peck out in the hallway as we passed them. She must have heard that Amonet was on base and I know she'd heard all about Sha're as well as seen her picture on Daniel's desk. I hope she can help Daniel get through this, and I am glad she's going to be around for the aftermath. I can't see this ending pretty at all with Daniel.

After the delegates were settled, I did catch up with Drey'auc and found her conflicted. Not about whatever it was between Teal'c and Cronus, but about a promise she made to Sha're back on Abydos. While helping to deliver her baby, she made Drey'auc promise to look after Daniel, which explains Drey'auc hovering over him ever since it seems. She wanted to escort Daniel and try to help him, and yet her experience with the Yautja seems clear that she should stay with Dachande.

General Hammond settled it for us with the expected answer of staying with Dachande. He understood the promise when we brought this up to him, but right now seeing to this delegate's need is more important as much as all of us want to help Daniel. Jack wanted to pull Daniel out of his volunteering to see to the visiting Goa'uld needs, but predictably Daniel said he would see this through and that he -had- to do this.

Drey'auc and I stood outside the conference room with Daniel as the first rounds ended abruptly. We watched Cronus, Yu and Nirrti stormed out of the place and off to their quarters as apparently Jack spoke out of turn during the first meeting and the System Lord dignitaries walked out. Amonet, Dachande, Kosh and Thor remained as none of them were 'offended' by whatever Jack said.

Daniel delivered the official apology and it was just happenstance that Kosh and I were out in the hall when the System Lords accepted it. Yu and Cronus went off to their rooms, but Nirrti wanted to talk to Daniel about Hathor the hag. I wasn't crying any tears when Jack had told me he killed her, and now I found I was wishing the same on Nirrti as she actually tried to seduce Daniel, wanting to have what Hathor had apparently. I know I was about to do something, Goa'uld or not, when Amonet unexpectedly showed up.

It was the first time I had ever seen that Goa'uld eye glowie thing happen, and I flinched with Amonet's eyes lit up. Jack says it's when they're really angry, Daniel says it's when they experience any strong emotion, which explains Amonet's shouted 'Enough'. They may be two aliens from another world but right then it looked like two girls ready to go to town over 'their' man.

Kosh chimed in, literally, and broke up the potential cat fight. One guiltily I was hoping for, and rooting for Amonet to win. Hearing Kosh chime Goa'uld was apparently unnerving for them as it was surprising for me. For a chime tone, he sounded pretty firm and authoritative, and when he told Amonet to follow, Nirrti looked on with undisguised hatred. I'm not sure why a Goa'uld would give way to a Vorlon, but these two obviously were and without complaint.

When we, and Kosh didn't have me wait outside his room, walked in the door closed on it's own, spooky enough that I found myself edging over to Daniel who was also edging over to me. Both of us watched as Kosh then he turned to Amonet and chimed 'Amonet sleep' as the light shined out of his iris like a flashlight. I watched Amonet seem to blink, stagger a bit and then her eyes lit up, not actual light, but like a very happy human. I've never heard Sha're speak, but the uttered 'Dan'yel' was the first clue, Daniel's face the second, with Kosh chiming 'Sha're speaks' the third that Sha're was somehow in control.

Wet eyes turned away to give Daniel and Sha're some sense of privacy, but I have to admit, I wanted to watch that first kiss of theirs. If I couldn't tell from how Daniel had talked about his wife that he loved her, all I had to do was look into their eyes once Sha're was in control to know they loved one another. I don't remember how long I stood with my back to them, but Daniel's 'No' had me twisting around to see him standing between Sha're and Kosh.

I'm not sure what 'failsafe for the future' was all about, but whatever it is this was the reason Kosh had brought Amonet here and not so that Sha're would be returned to Daniel. I'm sure the standoff would have continued until the guards came storming in to see what kept us, but then Sha're cried out that Amonet was stirring. Whatever Kosh did was temporary and he had one more thing to do before Amonet became aware again. More light from the iris, a 'Sha're Learn' from Kosh and Daniel was at least able to share a last kiss with Sha're before Amonet woke up.

It didn't look like Amonet was aware that any time had passed since she was in the room with us, and she didn't waste time turning on her heel to leave with a swirl of her robes. Daniel took a step to Kosh, thanked him and then walked out of the room in a daze. Happy, sad, having Sha're right here and then having to let her go was hard on him.

I really don't want to sound cynical, but it did seem like things were going too good to be true at that point and so the SGC strangeness factor kicked in and before we knew it, Teal'c and Cronus were found nearly dead in Cronus' quarters, with accusations being thrown back and forth, Nirrti saying she couldn't do much to heal with the hand device and Yu demanding we give up the Stargates, all of them as an additional concession.

Jack and I talked after his latest trip up to Thor's ship. Not at first I recall, we just wanted to sit and hold each other as the day's events drifted through out minds. He had so much pressure on him, not just the biggest decision he's ever had to make, but the added weight of watching his friend go through hell with Sha're so close and not being able to grab and save her.

Thor didn't give Jack a hint on what he should do. We had the Shadows, well Amonet, side with us to keep the gates, but both Thor and Kosh privately advised against going with anything the Shadows do and after what happened with Sha're, Kosh had won over Daniel to side with whatever Kosh advises me too for that matter. I know it's irrational, he's an alien and all, but sometimes when I'm with him, I get this 'father figure' vibe from Kosh. Like he has our best interest at heart, though not letting Daniel keep Sha're seems to speak against that. I just feel we can trust Kosh, whatever he's really up to. It was sorta Gandalf-ish, at least that's how Jack described it after we talked during one cuddle session.

Dachande was of limited help as the Yautja stressed they did not want their hunting ground made lifeless. This didn't meant the Goa'uld couldn't attack, it was just they couldn't wipe us out. Bombing us back to the Stone Age was perfectly acceptable to the Yautja, having no problem if the Goa'uld enslaved us they just stipulated the Goa'uld couldn't kill us off.

Accusations went to the Shadows after Teal'c woke up, but Amonet vouched for them and amazingly, only because apparently the Shadows and Vorlons are at war with one another, so did Kosh. Toto verified that not a single Re'tu were on base, and with Robby stationed at the Alpha site, K-9 was all we had to go on. Mind you, that's good enough for me, but this was the first time we had to rely on K-9 to detect Re'tu. We knew Robby could, we didn't know K-9 could detect them and Robby classified too much as a weapon for him to have been allowed to stay on base during the summit.

Jack came up with a 'cunning plan' that unlike Blackadder's worked out by unmasking Nirrti, and forcing a concession on gate travel. In the end, Earth would be left alone even by the Shadows and Vorlons who apparently had both considered this their territory as far as the Goa'uld were concerned. Their treaty was abolished in place of the Asgard one. I'm not sure which is better, though it did pretty much keep the Goa'uld from us for the last 10,000 years.

Dachande seemed satisfied too, as his people could continue to stop off on Earth with the stipulation that if caught at it by any party that party could deal with them as they chose. From what Drey'auc said, that is their way anyway. Their hunts might just be more exciting that way, which prompted Jack to press to ask what was it that they hunted. Dachande didn't answer just stared back through his mask at Jack that left us with the ominous answer that the Yautja may just be coming to Earth to hunt humans.

Claire took her son's arm as we watched Amonet make her way up the ramp. The other Goa'uld had already left, as had Dachande and Thor. Kosh stayed until the Shadows left with Amonet, a fact K-9 confirmed for us. It was when Kosh was leaving that Jack and Daniel separately broached possible future talks, an alliance and he left us with a hopeful, 'For the Future'.

Drey'auc's day

It was a hard question to ask, but as my husband informed me, it had to be asked. We did not know and at a time when we were unsure of enemies and friends the lack of knowledge would be harmful to us. Unlike the Tau'ri saying what we don't know would hurt us.

Sitting with Dachande in the room provided him we both stared at one another in the silence that stretches out in the first minutes after our arrival. Then he finally removes his mask showing me his face and the broken tusk he no doubt got his name from. Unlike the Tau'ri and the Goa'uld, 'small talk' is not a trait known among the Yautja so I do not attempt it.

I ask if he serves Orion as he was with that Goa'uld when I met him. In my heart I do not think it is so, but my heart will not stop a betrayal if it is. Orion possesses a Yautja host, one of the few Goa'uld who did, yet it is said in Jaffa legend that the Yautja are neither allies nor enemies of the Goa'uld. They would work together, or against a Goa'uld as it suits them.

That was the case with Dachande, he was on Amonet's world to hunt one of the most powerful Ash'rak'taaka queens known by the Yautja and he in away that somehow skips the boast a Jaffa or Goa'uld would add, he lets me know that he has killed a queen weaponless in the past. A feat no other Yautja, Jaffa or Goa'uld could claim to have done. This makes the honor he showed me more so among this people.

By the end of the summit he is satisfied with the outcome and tells me so before he leaves. He also informs me that if I ever need to contact him or his people, I may do so, leaving me the means to do so and informing me of another method located on the Tau'ri moon if someone called the Keeper will allow me access.

I am surprised again by two other visitors before the summit parties leave. Amonet in the company of the Vorlon Ambassador asked to speak to me and I find that the Vorlon, Kosh Naranek, has a way for Sha're to speak to me without Amonet being in the way. Like Sara, Sha're has the tradition of hugging, perhaps the one custom that is shared by both Jaffa and humans, though we do not as often as I am use to with Sara.

With tears she thanks me for looking after her Dan'yel, of keeping my promise as I also add one to free her from her Goa'uld one day. It will not be today as Kosh Naranek informs me for Amonet must leave through the Chappa'ai or the treaty the Tau'ri have wrought this day will be for naught.

Sha're and I share a last embrace and then part. I watch as Amonet takes control once more, looking at me with cold eyes full of contempt as the wife of the Shol'va, Teal'c. I take the insult for Sha're's sake and to keep the peace the Tau'ri need for this meeting. Another time, another place and this Goa'uld will pay for her insult to my husband and theft from Daniel Jackson and Sha're.

Sha're's story

Dan'yel is here! When I heard my demon was going to a meeting with the Tau'ri I could only hope to see my husband once more and here he is, standing there with such hope and pain in his eyes that I silently curse my demon and her ilk for the torment I see. It is so hard for me to watch us walk past him as if he didn't matter, knowing my demon was deliberately treating him this way to increase his suffering.

We are in agreement when Nirrti tries swaying my Dan'yel, making my demon smile inwardly as she finds out that I can curse and do have a temper. For once we are in accord as she moves to stop Nirrti from laying hands on my Dan'yel, we wish to tear her limps from her body, her smile from her face, to stab out her eyes for what she is trying and stopped by the Vorlon with a single word.

Now my demon is smiling openly, triumphantly when she is the one chosen to go with a Vorlon off to his room to no-doubt discusses some advantage with her. Both of us are surprised when the Vorlon turns and shines a light into our eyes that puts my demon to sleep.

I am in control of my body once more!

Dan'yel had followed as well as a woman whom we were told is the wife of O'Neill, but I waste no more thoughts of anything else save to melt into my husband's arms, our lips joining with a long denied kiss. I missed him so, and he me. He loves me! All the lies, the torment of my demon blow away like the sands of Abydos as my Dan'yel shows he still loves me.

Yet it is a joy that does not remain as the Vorlon that my Dan'yel and O'Neill's wife call Kosh tells us it is time for Amonet to return. My Dan'yel stands between Kosh and me arguing that he will not give me up. He would give anything to have me back, and I feel my demon stirring showing it is a decision no longer in our hands. Speaking while I still have my tongue to do so, causes my Dan'yel to relent and I hope not be disappointed with me for my weakness.

I hear Kosh speak "Failsafe for the future," out loud and as always as he speaks, it sounds like a series of musical atonal chords, almost a chorus of voices it seems to me, "Sha're learn." Then I hear him in my mind speak a single word, "Ina'kalesh." The word fills me with hope, with happiness as if my Dan'yel's arms were wrapped around me and he held me against all the woes of the world.

Amonet stirs and steals my body from me, and for a heartbeat I am elsewhere, back home on Abydos in my father's tent, with my father sitting there waiting for me. He holds my child in his arms, looking down at him and then up at me. When our eyes met I know somehow it is not my father somehow that it is the Vorlon Kosh.

"Yes my daughter, it is who you think it is," he says to me like my father would, "It is how we may talk while the Goa'uld reasserts herself not realizing she has minutes lost to her awareness. My grandson is very important to the balance of things and must not come into the hands of the Goa'uld. Much chaos would come from that and I am here to see that this does not come to pass."

"I will try to teach you my daughter, of how to prevent this if the unthinkable comes to pass," and I feel that he is not just talking of my son falling into the hands of the demons, he means something more, "And so I have made you Ina'kalesh, Soul-bonded with your husband."

I do not know why that would help, or what that means, but I do feel my son, my father, the tent, and Abydos fades from around me as if a dream. Now looking out through eyes that my demon directs as she walks past my husband without a single regard for him other than how much this must hurt him. She feels a sense of triumph that she cannot wait to lord over Aphodite and Anput that she has an understanding with the Vorlon Empire and is assured that Qetesh will not yet betray her as long as this exist.

I am given another time alive in my body after the treaty is agreed upon. The Shadows tell my demon to meet with the Vorlon Ambassador, who in tells us to follow him to a room where Drey'auc stands. Again Kosh tells my demon to sleep and I am in control once more. More than that, I see what Drey'auc has done in a flash of images and impressions that nearly make my mind spin with the speed they are shown to me.

She has kept her promise to look after my Dan'yel and he has gone through so much. I cannot help the tears that flow as I hold onto the Jaffa woman, thanking her. She reaffirms her promise and adds another that she will free me from my demon. Somehow, even as I feel my demon waken to enslave me once more, I believe her.

The night after we leave the world of my husband, I cry unshed tears that my demon will not allow to flow. I miss my Dan'yel and curse all the demons who kept me from him. It is as my demon succumbs to sleep that suddenly I feel my Dan'yel next to me. His arms were around me as he use to do when we lay together each night on Abydos. I feel his warm, can smell his scent that mingles with mine even feel his breath upon me.

"Dan'yel?" the word comes from lips in a dream as I dare hope he can hear me. I feel him shift beside me and rise slightly, picturing him looking as we are now back in our tent on Abydos and not in the confines of Qetesh's palace.

"Sha're? Sha're!" we sit up and hold one another again, share another kiss, "How is this possible?" he asks before I do. We then both hear the almost chorus of the voice of Kosh speak that single word again, "Ina'kalesh."

Is this what Kosh meant by Soul-bonded?

Author's notes; Ina'kalesh is a word and concept from an excellent story where Sha're lives again called "Unforeseen" by Irlanda Anima. I am adapting it to this series for part of the explanation of what Sha're did in "Forever and a Day".


	6. Legacy

Legacy

Got a 'for crying out loud' from Jack today. Which isn't precisely a no to two ceremonies, just that it would be a lot of work. However with some of the guest we couldn't explain to our families two wedding ceremonies seem to work out as a compromise to not having half the people we wanted at our wedding. Not that either of us were planning anything big, it was only while we were on the 'short list' of guest that we realized how many of our guest couldn't meet the others. Not without outright lies for a few, and in some cases we couldn't even begin to pass off a convincing enough story.

Still it's months away and plenty of time to iron out the difficulties. At least I hope so. Jack and SG-1 are off to P3C-599 today. We plan to talk more once he gets back as for me, I'm off for another briefing with a group from the Pentagon. Hope I'm official and professional looking for them. I've nervous enough being considered enough of an expert on the Jaffa to run a briefing, but it has been nearly a year of cultural exchange lessons with Drey'auc. I suppose that does make me the closest -available- expert.

Daniel and Josaih have the academic approach that makes them sound more competent. But they're off with their SG teams and Claire is still getting up to speed on what Daniel has blazed a trailed on. That leaves me as the available expert. I will say Jack's teasing has relaxed me somewhat, I know others have mentioned his sense of humor isn't always welcomed, but I really appreciate it at times like this. Well, no putting it off any longer, off to the briefing. I should be done before the team gets back.

Talk about feeling helpless. I keep thinking what more I could do, but it continues to come up as so little. Supporting Claire as she practically stays at the hospital with Daniel, supporting Jack as he tries to cope with his best friend apparently going crazy. He's really upset about what's happening with Daniel and is outraged at what the doctors are doing to him. I have to admit like Jack, I'm inclined to believe Daniel that something must have happened at P3C-599. I mean after all the SGC strangeness it's easier to believe than Daniel suddenly flipping out like this.

He was smirking when he had to go to the hospital to 'talk' to Drey'auc about some kind of rough handling of orderlies. Apparently she didn't like how they were treating Daniel and decided to do their jobs for them. They objected, thought she was 'just a woman' and found out after the fact that Jaffa really are stronger than humans. I suppose my job does call for sending them get well cards during their hospital stay as patients instead of staff. General Hammond wasn't officially pleased with anyone, but his lack of disciplinary actions towards Drey'auc leaves everyone with the impression of his tacit approval.

General Hammond's official reprimand doesn't really explain the tension I'm sensing between Teal'c and Drey'auc. I get the feeling they either had a fight, or at least strongly disagree about what's going on. I don't think it was her putting the orderlies into the hospital either. I'm not sure about Jaffa couples and I've never seen them publicly disagree much, but I'm pretty sure something more is going on between them and it's about Daniel.

I so believe Daniel now and it didn't take much talk on our way back from the hospital to convince Jack to talk to Hammond about getting in touch with the Tok'ra. Claire's pleading aside, I think Jack wants to believe that Ma'chello has something to do with this and not Dr. MacKenzie's out there theory that travel through the gate is the cause of this. Teal'c certainly doesn't support that theory and had never heard of any Goa'uld, Jaffa or human being affected as such. Of course MacKenzie rather believes his own theory rather than Teal'c's, but Janet was ready to support it. Not that General Hammond really needed more than Jack's word to at least try to contact Ma'chello.

By the time he responded Teal'c was in the infirmary, Drey'auc at his side, and everyone ready to believe Daniel rather than MacKenzie. Especially with Claire telling us that her son is very lucid right now especially without the drugs. I don't know how she got MacKenzie to stop the medications, but after working by her for the last several months I know she could throw her weight around. Add to that a mother protecting her child and really MacKenzie wasn't going win this for long.

It turned out that it was something Ma'chello came up with and he and Anise showed up with some Tok'ra version of FRED laden with equipment -floating- along behind them. By then Jack, Sam and Janet were in quarantine, Maureen there with Dr. Warner trying to help but out of his depth it sounded like. Not that I was thinking clearly with Jack in their curled up like a ball. Fortunately Maureen, Ma'chello and Anise were able to talk Sam through a cure.

Now that I've seen what MacKenzie is like with Daniel I am so glad I started this diary rather than take those initial visits to talk to him as offered after crystal-Jack and Charlie's visits. I don't think I would have ended up in a padded cell pumped with drugs I didn't need, but now I'm not too sure.

Once Teal'c was up and about Ma'chello had some new 'toys' he wanted to show his Jaffa friends. One was a new sort of staff weapon. One that is multi-barreled and can switch to TER or regular function. He went on to say that he's working on the cloaking device of Nirrti's with an eye of adapting its principles towards Maureen's project. Which went far towards everyone forgiving him for what happened with his Goa'uld killers going amuck. Not that anyone said he needed forgiveness, but it's understandable that Jack and company, whom I include myself, were less than thrilled about what his invention had did to us. Hearing about progress on a possible Tau'ri-Tok'ra-Re'tu alliance boosted spirits and would make the Powers-That-Be in Washington very happy.

Maureen went off to talk the Tok'ra in her lab, likely to discuss more theories with Sam in tow. However, on the way Anise passed on to us that Charlie loved our last visit and looked forward to our next one. He is particularly very excited about being our Ringbearer. Jack and I still aren't sure if I'm going to have a train for him to perform traditional pageboy duties, but Charlie is eager if I do decide. I had thought to maybe keep the dress simple, but he's so looking forward to doing as much as he could in a Tau'ri wedding that I may have one just for him.

Drey'auc's day

I cannot believe some of the Tau'ri and am surprised that General Hammond is going along with this Doctor MacKenzie's advice to not believe Daniel Jackson's word that something back on P3C-599 is affecting his behavior. After all SG-1 has experienced, one would think they would be inclined to believe the unlikely rather than the improbable explanation that travel through the Chappa'ai is responsible for what he is experiencing.

My husband is in complete agreement with me, yet goes along with what General Hammond has decided. It was the start of an argument that raised no voices, yet made kel'noreem difficult to obtain. It is only duty to my husband that I do not disobey the orders of General Hammond and let this MacKenzie take Daniel Jackson away.

Like a wall it remained between us while I went to the hospital with Claire to look after Daniel Jackson. I think it a mistake that he is in this place and treated so. Yet if he must be given this so-called medication, than I take the position of these Tau'ri men called orderlies. I made a promise to Sha're to look after Daniel Jackson and that is what I will do. If that means taking out my frustration with my husband on several orderlies than they can spend time in the hospital learning how it is to be treated instead of mistreating they were doing of Daniel Jackson.

General Hammond disagreed with my approach to helping Daniel Jackson, however I think it is a political disagreement as all he said through O'Neill was for me not to do this again. I have seen General Hammond when he disapproved of something and it is more than just a word through someone serving under him if something displeases him. I believe honor demanded that he say something about what I did, but personally he did not disagree with my acts.

Even my husband does not disagree and it serves as a point for us to talk again after the long silence between us. We will speak more once we both are back our room at the stronghold, however his peace offering of humor was appreciated. To joke about how I left them alive was nearly in the manner of O'Neill, yet I do not believe O'Neill was involved with the decision to use humor to broach the wall between my husband and I.

I found that I appreciated the gift he gave me even more when I heard he was in the infirmary under the care of Doctor Frasier. Claire Jackson would not leave her son to the care of an unwatched MacKenzie, and I hope Sha're will forgive my lapse as I leave her husband to go to mine when Sara comes to drive me back to the stronghold. I almost wish to drive myself, but I am not yet conversant with all the driving customs yet. Like when the red sign reading 'Stop' should be obeyed and when it is alright to just 'drift' past it without stopping.

Ma'chello's appearance explained much, and he brought with him a cure for my husband. Though it is later I find it was developed by Doctor Robinson with Ma'chello and Anise advising her.

It was his involvement with the cure that had our attention to Ma'chello once my husband was up on his feet once more. I think I'd rather seek reconciliation with him in private, but honor demanded we listen to him. More so when he presented us with gifts. Staff weapons that act as TER upon a twist of the handle, and he reported he is working on an improved Sarcophagus. One that will not darken the soul as the Tok'ra and Tau'ri fear. Though it is his report about a way for the Re'tu to adjust their phase shift to the frequency that will not agitate the Goa'uld symbiote that heartens most. It has something to do with his experiments on a phase device the Tok'ra obtained from Nirrti of which he and Anise go off with Doctor Robinson to discuss more.

Teal'c and I also have much to discuss and not all of it will be with words. The Tau'ri custom of 'making up' upon a bed is one my husband and I shall employ after we settle wounds our earlier disagreement inflicted upon the both of us. The words do not come easy, however once they do flow the making of love comes quite easy. Obtaining kel'noreem afterwards is without any difficulties at all.


	7. Learning Curve

Learning Curve

Claire's busy looking over Daniel's latest notes from Orban. They seemed to be at least connected to, if not descended from, Aztecs. I almost ended up going with Jack to check up on Daniel's progress as Drey'auc was going along with Teal'c as part of the information exchange going on. Our Jaffa couple is going to tell the Orbanians about the Goa'uld and we apparently get a naquadah reactor out of that deal.

Did not expect a little girl to come back with Sam, nor for the two of them to end up working together to help Sam understand how the naquadah reactor worked. I know it's that Tau'ri in me that rankled about child labor and all. I had to keep thinking back to Rya'c and how he is right now learning to kill. Reminding myself that my customs, opinions and way of thinking aren't the only way to live by. Other cultures have other ways and I really should be more understanding.

Of course, Jack shot real big holes in my resolve and I did end up siding with him when we found out just what would happen to our visitor once she went home. I know I was gaping, yet once Jack had a plan I went along, even modifying it a bit so he might end up with a career after this was over. Sometimes being the civilian has its perks and possibly one might be not getting thrown in the brig for 'kidnapping' a foreign dignitary, okay yes, a child.

I wasn't sure just what Jack had in mind at first, but once we were on our way I knew what we had to do. A call to Maureen put me in touch with her daughter Penny who is a teacher and off Jack, Merrin and I were to Penny's school. Thankfully Penny was extremely helpful as I suspect us just showing up on school grounds would have the police arriving soon afterwards. With a bit of string pulling by Penny, Cassie was able to join us with Jack's plan to teach Merrin how to have 'fun'. Again culture shock set in when I found out the poor girl didn't know what fun was. Jack saw the end to that, bless that man of mine.

Fun time was over and Jack and I knew we had to take Merrin back to face the music for our actions. I forget who handed Jack that box of crayons, Penny or Cassie, but they really were the right gift to give Merrin when she had to leave. I was rather numb emotionally when General Hammond took a moment with us in the control room. Letting Jack do the talking was the right move, not that I really was in any mental frame of mind to say anything.

He didn't chew us out for what we did, and in a way he didn't have to. The look he gave us was enough, he was angry, and disappointed. I think we did the right thing, but the doubt ate at me. Not about showing Merrin how to have fun, to be a kid, but what we did to do that. We kidnapped a little girl, we basically said 'our way of life is better than your way of life' and if someone, some alien, did that to my Charlie, wouldn't I be upset? Wouldn't I think it was wrong?

Still, seeing Merrin smile, hearing her laugh, that was worth it. I'm glad Penny and Cassie were there for us, which gave me an idea. Presuming that the Orbanians were going to talk to us again, we might have something to share with them that would sooth our minds and help them out. The fact it would solve a problem Maureen and Guy have had with Penny was a nice bonus.

I tried to hold onto the tears until after they went through the gate, but afterwards they just fell with Jack holding me.

Jack seem to think the idea had merit, though he doubted that General Hammond was going to be open to ideas from either of us for a while. I did write a proposal, and had it ready just in case Hammond is more accepting after he cools down from our near diplomatic incident.

I did hedge the proposal with presuming the Orbanians were going to talk to us again, and if they did that one way to continue the information exchange with them is to have Penny go and teach the post Urrone children. If General Hammond goes with it, the post-Urrone children would learn how to become adults by teaching them and not leaving them abandoned to be cared for the rest of their lives.

It might just keep the Orbanians as allies and I left out of the proposal that the Robinsons could finally have a family dinner and not have to restrict the conversations to anything outside work for the SGC, which everyone but Penny is working for.

When the General did give us a call, and I mean -us-, Jack, SG-1, Drey'auc, me and surprisingly Cassie of all people, none of us were expecting it. He further surprised us when he asked Maureen to get in touch with her daughter Penny. Well he asked for Ms. Penny Robinson, I don't think General Hammond would ever get that informal on base. I mean to this day he still calls Daniel 'Doctor Jackson' no matter what the situation.

As I barely turned in my proposal last night, Jack wasn't alone thinking this was odd, and there was no way a security clearance was going to be finished by this point. Turns out confidentiality papers were waiting at the check in desk for Penny once Maureen arranged for her to get out of her teaching classes that day and come to the base.

Turns out the Orbanians asked for each of us by name to come through the gate as soon as we could. No further details to be had, but likely not trouble of the shoot-em-up kind since they asked for Drey'auc, Cassie, Penny and I to come along. I'd say 'we non-combatants' but that just doesn't apply to Drey'auc.

It was my first time wearing a BDU, because despite the fact the non-combatants were asked to go to Orban, Jack, Janet, Maureen and the General were not taking any chances. Cassie, Penny and I were fitted with BDUs, in Cassandra's case it wasn't a matter of not finding the right fit. Cassie was about as tall as her mother now and the PX would have BDUs for Janet.

I'm pretty sure Janet wanted to go along to look after Cassie, and I'm certain if SG-8 were back, Guy would volunteer with his daughter Penny going along. But General Hammond didn't want to have anyone not asked to show up, and there were 'only' three of us who couldn't be counted on to fight if it came to that. No-one really thought it would come to that or the General certainly wouldn't even think of letting us through the gate.

Kalan is thanking us and it took a moment for me to understand why. Merrin learned how to have fun and passed that on, that's why they asked for Penny, Cassie and I to come. To show us what we did had an effect with their whole society. I think Penny is about to be offered a job with the SGC when we get back, which will mean a happy 'ending' for the Robinson family. It certainly looks like it will be better for Merrin and the other kids here on Orban.

Drey'auc's day

I am shocked my husband is becoming too much like the Tau'ri as he judges by their standards. It is shocking to find out what happened to Tomin. I do not like it in the least bit, however to deny them their way of life is like how some of the Tau'ri almost tried to tell us what was best for Rya'c. He is nearly the same age Tomin was when he decided to enter training from Master Bra'tac. To suggest we apply our ways to the Orbanians would be like the Tau'ri trying to apply their ways to our children, or we to theirs.

However, I had no desire to repeat the experience with our disagreement when Daniel Jackson was infected with Ma'chello's Goa'uld killers. I subside as Teal'c does, likely for the same reasons. We must be one when confronting Kalan, and in turn O'Neill and the other Tau'ri. I already suspect how they will react and am proven correct. It shakes me to my foundations with my faith in him, yet reminds me that I replace belief in false gods with the same sort of faith in the Tau'ri, even O'Neill.

I have to wonder would he and Sara have abducted Rya'c if he didn't respect our decision? Would they have conspired as such? The answers leave me disquieted and I know will make kel'noreem difficult this night even as he does return the Orbanian girl to her father.

And yet it is this ability of O'Neill's to go against the ways of a people that has lead the way to progress against the Goa'uld. If he did leave others to their cultural ways then where would Teal'c and I be now? Still in the thrall of a false god with no hope for our people. My faith in O'Neill was shaken, tested and now proven. I will continue to believe in him as my husband does, for it will be O'Neill that will be the cause of the downfall of the System Lords and the freedom of my people.

We come through the Chappa'ai hand in hand with Cassandra Frasier as she looks to me to protect her in case this visit to the Orbanians is not what we hope it will be. Penny Robinson continues to have a surprised look on her face, gazing around at everything as this is her first time through the Chappa'ai. Once O'Neill feels that no immediate fighting is about to happen, he allows his wife to join his side.

What we find are children laughing, playing in the manner I have seen Tau'ri children play and both Teal'c and I spot Tomin, listening to Kalan's explanation of what happened to change his people so. This verifies my faith in O'Neill, his actions changed the way things were to a better way. I hope I never doubt him again.


	8. Snapshots

Author's notes: Trying something a little different, partly to accelerate getting to Sha're becoming a series regular. This chapter will be Sara-centric and covering in broad strokes several episodes of the show through her eyes. This is a re-write from the shorter earlier version that I promised Sarai I would one day re-write. Here it is!

Sara's Snapshots

July 31st, 1999

I still don't remember why I ended up at the other Sam's door, whatever the reason was lost as I walked in to find him pulling away from her oblivious to my presence. Unlike the other Sam who just stared at me. I wasn't sure why at first, not until my eyes wandered over to the nightstand where a picture of her and Jack stood.

Jack and I both just stared at the picture, then at that Sam and back again. I wasn't quite sure what I was feeling, but Jack seemed angry, yet trying to be understanding at the same time. The result was a hand at my elbow and his guiding us out of there. I think he sent Daniel in afterwards, I was still trying to wrap my head around what I saw and what it meant.

Alternate realities, I still remember Daniel trying to explain it nearly two years ago. It's much easier to understand when one has the real deal in front of them. It also clears up why Daniel kept asking basic questions about us when he returned from one. He wanted to be sure, to be assured that he had returned home. Now I really see why, those alternates can be quite confusing as they took what you knew and turned them upside down or inside out.

Okay, okay I am -not- going to hold Sam to what the other Sam is like in her universe. Not our Sam's fault their Sam is married to -a- Jack, not mine. She certainly is not going to get any ideas about my Jack, and will not believe Jack will be better off with her instead of me. I won't believe that either, after all, our Sam is in the military, that Sam didn't join. She lost her world and we didn't...that was petty of me, and maybe later I'll feel sorry about that. Right now, I need to vent and dear diary will be my outlet. I will not, will NOT hold our Sam to their Sam's life...

Yes, I thought so too, what a way to spend a Saturday night.

Seeing them off through the mirror wasn't easy, or would have been harder if Toto wasn't going with them. By now just about everyone trusted K-9 and was surprised when he volunteered to go and make sure the team was able to return to the right reality.

Sam let me stand with her as we waited for the team to succeed, the looming shape of Robby behind us along with a squad of soldiers that General Hammond wanted to secure the mirror with. It was probably their presence and not Robby's that kept the two of us from talking. I could feel we both wanted to talk, Sam to assure me that I don't have to worry about her and Jack, and oddly that's what I also wanted to tell her. That just because it happened to the other Sam, I don't expect it to happen with her.

We finally, if a bit awkwardly, had been able to get that out between us by the time the boys were ready to come home, mission successful. The mirror shimmered, Jack was standing on the other side with Toto standing in front of him. That smile of Jack's was a welcome sight as were his predictable words spoken before he stepped forward and back into our reality, "There's no place like home."

August 6th, 1999

So today SG 1 and 2 brought home a stray. Though to hear it from Jack it was more Will's idea to bring their stray home instead of leaving him to fend for himself out there. I guess it was a good thing the recovery of the UAV fell to SG-2 and currently that was only Will and Robby, their CO off training for the transfer to the moon base being worked on. I wonder how Louis is doing up there?

Anyway, an Aris Boch came back through the gate ahead of Robby and later went off to talk to Maureen and Janet about studying some drug his people are addicted to. I wasn't surprised to find out that the Goa'uld did that to enslave Aris' people. By the time Aris ended up leaving the SGC, it looked like Maureen made enough progress on synthesizing roshnah so that Aris left with hope and a way to keep in touch through the Tok'ra.

Jack's not the only one on SG-1 who isn't sure having the so-called greatest bounty hunter in the galaxy as an ally is a big benefit, but he also said it couldn't hurt. For one thing, Will pointed out that Aris could work right now with the Re'tu and not have to wait for either his mother or Ma'chello to perfect their miracle deus ex machina for the Tau'ri-Tok'ra-Re'tu alliance. Besides Aris impressed Teal'c and that's a hard thing to do, so contact is worth it.

August 19th, 1999

I suspected there was a story coming when Jack came back through the gate today humming 'Angels we have heard on high', raising more than one eyebrow, Teal'c's notwithstanding, and eye rolling from Daniel. There was definitely a story to be had and what a story did it turn out to be. A Goa'uld posing as the Devil of all things, easy to believe from what I've heard an Unas look like, then something glowy with wings of whom the natives took to believe were angels.

These 'angels' saying that now that the village has chosen freely not to follow the Devil they will fall under their protection. So the natives didn't have to follow Jack's initial advice to bury the gate to protect them from Sokar. Not that Jack was going to leave it to these glowy-come-latelys, it actually took Ambassador Kosh of all people showing up to verify the protection. Though he wouldn't answer if the so-called angels were connected to the Vorlon Empire or not. We are sure the angels aren't Vorlons as they certainly aren't the heavy methane, sulfur, and CO2 breathers Kosh is. Since Kosh had Daniel's support and after the whole summit incident with Amonet and Sha're, Jack was inclined to believe him.

August 24th, 1999

Jack brought home an injured boy, okay young man as Rafyatre would probably insist. Then again he's not from Earth, and he might not be so prickly about the differences as men are on my planet. I wonder if I should check a few entries back to see the last time I wrote those two words. 'My planet' doesn't read so pretentious or pretending when you know what's really out there.

Apparently SG-1 found a camp where Apophis was training kids to eventually infiltrate us by pretending to be recruits for the SGC. What is it with the Goa'uld and using children as weapons? These kids were only a few years older than Cassie or Rya'c are and unlike those two might just have joined up in the armed forces, a step up I suppose from the typical depravity.

Jack had also brought home news of SG-11, or rather the rest of them. Captain Conner and two of his people had been found months ago after they had been ambushed, but no-one knew what happened to the rest of SG-11 until now. They had been presumed dead from the attack, but it turns out they had been captured by Apophis and used to set up this camp for training.

Janet conducted an autopsy and confirm torture, and use of Nish'ta, which explains and exonerates them from the information given and was used to set up the training camp.

Funeral service will be held this upcoming Sunday afternoon, and I'm glad Jack has already taken Captain Conner aside to talk to the poor man. Loosing those under your command is a pain that not all can understand except someone else who has gone through it.

Captain Raevon R. Connor has to deal with survivors guilt too as this is the second time he lived and most of his team died. This time he wasn't the sole survivor, like when he was with SG-9 in their previous incarnation, but SG-11 was one of the largest teams and only two others survived with him this time.

Jack will help him through that and the task of assembling a new team.

September 13th, 1999

Moon Base Alpha is online and operational! Helena was able to email me from the new base and is happy to settle in with John up there. Maureen and Guy are curious if they get their daughter back with Helena assuring them that with life support working perfectly they should be free to let Judy return to Earth. Yes, I still find it odd to so casually mention other places off Earth as if they were just overseas in relation. I hope I never become jaded with all of this.

Unlike my jaded attitude towards politicians.

Because of all the conniving, petty, low and backstabbing things to do, Senator Kinsey pushed through an order that SG-10 is to be declared KIA and a new SG-10 is to be formed. This is the wake of the opening of the moon base. You would think he'd be proud that 'good old US workmanship' went into the building of a base on the moon around the ruins of whatever alien outpost was up there. But no, he had to sour things by pushing this through and arranging for Jack to be the one to 'help' form the new SG-10 like he did with SG-7 and unofficially with SG-11.

Fortunately there were three ex-astronauts who had piloted the shuttle that rescued Jack, Sam, Teal'c and Bra'tac months ago from orbit. They'd seen enough to want in on the program without even knowing it. There were actually four on that mission, but Colonel John Koenig is commanding the moon base, leaving Lt. Colonel Steve Austin, Majors Anthony Nelson and Roger Healy looking to continue their quest to be on an SG team.

I don't think Kinsey expected Jack to delivery so quickly, or if he did, probably had his own hand picked people waiting to be asked by a desperate Jack O'Neill. Jack showed him, off the rebound and likely off the cuff chooses Austin and company to be the new SG-10 team before Kinsey could pull another SG-13 on him. Not that Dave's boys weren't behaving, I think they've been surprising everyone including their CO. I still feel sorry that they get all the odd job missions. And with the SGC strangeness being a default setting on the normalcy meter, what constitutes as odd says a lot around here.

Well I'll look forward to meeting Steve and Tony's wives, Jamie and Jeannie. Mary is actually being nice about the shift with me jumping up to the top of the heap, which worries me. Last time there was a strong scent of alcohol on her breath. I'm hoping she's not turning to drinking away her woes now that she doesn't have to live up to being the 'senior wife' of the officer's wives. Maybe with the new girls I can help steer her away from the bottle.

Author's closing notes; the broad strokes of episodes covered above are Point of View; Deadman Switch; Demons; with the originally planned interlude of Angels thrown in there; Rules of Engagement; and what I will likely turn into its own story (later) Stargate: Moonbase Alpha, a crossover of sorts with Space 1999. Most of the same characters from that old television show but as they would be in the world of Stargate. The same with SG-10, that will likely be a few stories on their own with their characters adapted from Six Million Dollar Man, and I Dream of Jeannie (don't worry, Stargate-ish explanation for Jeannie, I promise).

Next chapter (finally!) Forever in a Day!


	9. Forever in a Day

Author's note: Many thanks to Sarai for her review last chapter. Yes, I also felt it was rushed, yet was unsure enough that I posted it. Now that I know it does come across as rushed, I will go back and write it over again. However, I will post first this chapter, and then the next, "First Day in a Forever" before I go back to do "Snapshots". Thank you everyone for your reviews. I am learning to write better because of the feedback with each review.

Forever in a Day

I don't think I've ever been so nervous, so heart-in-my-throat worried as when news of where Amonet is came in and just about every SG team available went out. Jack and the team were especially tense, as this was it. Finally we knew where Amonet is and hence have a shot at rescuing Sha're. I can see all the SGC come together for this. It's as if everyone wants to be apart of rescuing her for Daniel.

Drey'auc is going out with them, watching her and Teal'c go through a ritual of outfitting each other felt almost a bit too intimate to keep watching. I'm not the anthropologist after all, that's Josiah's and Daniel's bailiwick. I only moonlight as a culture specialist, they're the real thing. Not that either has time to watch as both of them are gearing up to go as well.

It started out as word of Amonet's raid on Abydos came back to the SGC. Apparently she was after the Harsesis and had found out he was among the Abydonians. Instead of invading and taking over, she snatched them up to take to another planet for the interrogations to begin. Amazingly it turned out Aris Boch was a source of where she went as there is a bounty for the boy.

The Tok'ra confirmed that none of the System Lords seem to know where Amonet went, or that she was close to finding her son, Sha're's son as I'll put in this diary entry.

I think it was less than a day that I found myself standing silently off to the side in the gate room, watching Jack and Sam try to cheer up Daniel, to remind him they're going to do their best to bring Sha're back. It's a message that is understood all around the gate room among the SG teams gathered here today.

Just as Jack is making sure his team is ready, Chris is doing so with SG-7, Guy with SG-8, Steve with the new SG-10, even Dave with his odd ball team of SG-13. I watch as Guy cautions his son to be careful, and Will in turn talks with JD and Vin as the 'youngsters' clump together before the two Airmen and one alien civilian move off to their respective SG teams. Lou is waiting for Will and actually jokes with Robby, or -at- him, it's hard to tell from over here. I look at them and nearly shake my head considering Lou along with Warren and Casey are the temporary members of SG-2 now and not the other way around with Will and Robby who are the core of that reorganized team. Lou does manage to not quite lord it over Robert that his team has more firepower than the marines of SG-3.

In fact, Robby probably has more firepower than most of the teams combined from the way Jack described it during the rescue off Hathor's planet. I know that makes some nervous, but I'm glad he's going along to watch Jack's back. Okay, I know not just Jack, but I should to confess here in my diary I tend to be a bit Jack-o-centric. Can you blame a gal? Not in her own diary you can't.

I didn't personally know all of them out there in the gate room, but I've met them and can see in their eyes they are going to go all out for Daniel, and Sha're.

Everyone came to attention as Major General George Hammond walked up the ramp to address them. I look out from the conference room by this point and listen as General Hammond gave a speech that puts another lump in my throat. Claire, Janet, Maureen and Raine were with me, all of us listening as Toto played the speech for us up there as if General Hammond was wearing a microphone.

Part of me wished that K-9 could go with them, but he wouldn't be good over rough terrain and I can't imagine P8X-873 is going to be all smooth floors and ramps. He'd slow them down and this was a case that I didn't want any of the boys and girls out there to be slowed down. I know they'll pull it off, they've saved the world after all and that was 'just' SG-1. With practically the rest of the SG teams, I know they'll do it, they'll bring Sha're back and rescue her people.

Jack led the way through the gate, followed by Robert, then Robby, Will and the rest of the teams. Jack told me once why he led instead of Robert and I can't fault him. It may be the marine's jobs to spearhead, but when it came to Sha're, the shoot first reaction wouldn't be what I want to go in first. Robby following the marines meant they'll have the firepower backing them up. Their own personal tank, SGC style.

Slipping my hand into Claire's, all of us silently wish the boys (and girl) success to bring Daniel's wife home.

Drey'auc's day

This time our practice of Hi'ato-chell'nak is not symbolic as it has been with Jaffa over the ages. Today I am ready to fight beside my husband, though our battlefield is not home but out there where Amonet holds Sha're and her people. In the manner of Hi'ato-chell'nak we check each other's garments for a tight fit. No slippage that may hinder us in the battle to come. We then hand each other a Zat'nik'tel, Teal'c will wear upon his forearm as tradition, while I part from such with the habit I now have of it holstered upon my hip.

Then with a slight bow we present each other with our staff weapons. My husband to me first, to signify his desire for me to fight by his side, then I Teal'c to show that I will follow him to death if need be. Around us the SG teams do not exist in this solemn moment when our eyes met and we silently swear to stand to the death by each other's side. Turning only after O'Neill calls us to him, and we turn go to stand by him and more importantly Daniel Jackson of whom we intend to rescue his wife this day. Today, Sha're shall be free as will her people whom Amonet has taken.

General Hammond's speech stirs even our Jaffa blood, I can feel it with Teal'c as well as within me. In the manner of the Tau'ri his hand finds mine and squeezes it once before letting go. We live among the Tau'ri, fight beside them, love like they do sometimes, but today we will battle as only Jaffa can.

Amonet's forces fight fiercely for her, but they are not enough any more than Hathor's forces were and they were the helmeted elite. Finding Sha're's people follow shortly thereafter and that is when Daniel Jackson spots Sha're, Amonet arrogantly standing just outside her tent. Taking no thought to cover, confident her Jaffa will overwhelm us and soon they do come pouring over the dunes to take on our forces.

O'Neill tasks Teal'c to go after Daniel Jackson, and I go with my husband but a heartbeat later. Unfortunately Daniel Jackson has had a 'head start' on us and is in the tent with Amonet long before we may follow him. When I follow my husband into Amonet's tent I see a scene of horror unfold before us, a possible tragic end is taken up in that one glance of taking in what is happening there.

I feel the hesitation the moment I join Teal'c within the tent Daniel Jackson had entered. In but a split second, a blink of the eye, he would do the unthinkable for all the right reasons. He would kill Amonet to save Daniel Jackson, but in doing so slay his heart and reason to live.

My hand is only quicker than my husband's resolution due to his hesitation in that moment. My Zat'nik'tel flies into my hand in the manner we learned to draw 'six-guns' from our time at Captain Larabee's ranch, and it took that heartbeat of hesitation for me to shoot before Teal'c had to.

Amonet goes sprawling in the after shocks of my fire as we surge forward, Teal'c to Daniel Jackson while I go to Sha're. Nathan Jackson nearly flew into the tent but seconds afterwards, and while he examined Daniel Jackson, I share a look between my husband and we realize what must be done.

Apparently so does Nathan Jackson and merely says 'Go' as he bends over Daniel Jackson, moving to look to his injuries. Teal'c and I take the still groggy Amonet between us and rise, moving quickly towards the Chappa'ai. We see O'Neill now taking over an armed FRED whose warrior has fallen, he barely spares us a glance as he yells something to Will Robinson who tasks Robby to 'cover us' as we run to the Chappa'ai.

Teal'c tosses his staff weapon as we approach, leaving his hand free to touch the symbols he memorized in preparation for this day. We go not to the world of the Tau'ri, we go instead to the one place we now knew would be Sha're's salvation, we go to Cimmeria.

Sha're's saga

My demon is worried, furious that the Tau'ri dares to attack her, to find her here. She had to find the Harsesis for her alliance with Qetesh and the other queens are watching closely for signs of weakness in my demon. She decides an invasion of my home would only draw attention from the others, a thought I encourage to keep her from my people. A hope that dies as she decides to take my people, my father and flee to this other world she believes will be safe for her to find my son.

She does so, and my heart feels heavy as we hold my son and then sends him off with trusted forces of her's. My demon is so confident that no-one will find my son until she is ready to use him for her benefit alone. So confident that she does not worry as my Dan'yel comes with the forces of the Tau'ri. Not even the blue giant that rolls upon treads strikes fear in her at first. It is only once they reach my people and free them that she starts to worry.

Only starts, she is so haughty in her manner, she does not run as my Dan'yel comes towards us, she does not fear as he points a gun at us. She is so sure that he will not fire for he sees only me and not the demon that will kill him if he does not fire.

_Dan'yel! Dan'yel! Fire! Shoot my love! Do not let her kill you! _The thoughts scream out as my demon raises her hand and shoots at my husband. I watch with horror as he goes to his knees, begging, pleading with me to help and I cannot. Only listen to my demon gloat as we watch my Dan'yel die.

_Sha're...learn. _The voice of Kosh comes to me and I feel I know what I can do, though how that will help I do not know at first. Only once Teal'c comes into the tent do I know why Kosh is helping me. To help my son, I must speak through the very force that kills my husband. To connect with his mind, to spend a day with him in this one moment before I beg with my mind for Teal'c to kill my demon, to kill me to save my Dan'yel.

Dan'yel's gun falls from his hand as Teal'c hesitates and I watch my husband's life ebb from him to the delight of my demon. I know Teal'c will do the right thing that he will not let my Dan'yel die and I am ready for death.

Then Drey'auc is there and suddenly my demon and I know only pain as the shock of the Zat'nik'tel shoots into us. I feel my demon fall from control, the body, my body is mine again for a brief time. A body I cannot control because it is weak from the shock, but my body for this moment. I do not know the man whose color of skin matches Teal'c and Drey'auc's, but with no symbol upon his head, he is not Jaffa. He does kneel down by my Dan'yel and seems to tend to him.

Not that I am given much time to consider this, to know the relief of my husband's life saved. For Drey'auc and Teal'c take me up in their arms like they did back at Abydos, nearly carrying me out of the tent and through the battle of Amonet's Jaffa. O'Neill is leading them and the blue giant now helps protect my two carriers as they carry me to the Chappa'ai.

Symbols are touched and my demon stirs, noticing them and begins to fight. For she recognizes the symbols and they mean death for her, for us she tries to convince me. I fight her now, keep her from fully coming to control our body as I trust Drey'auc and Teal'c. Cimmeria means death to a Goa'uld.

Crossing through the Chappa'ai we arrive at the place of death, the planet Cimmeria before a stone obelisk that my demon identifies as Asgard and believes death is imminent. That we will die together, a lie it must be, one hard not to believe as I watch a point glow and a beam stab out at us. Yet neither Drey'auc nor Teal'c let go of me. If it is death coming, they either intend to go with me, or it is not death.

We find ourselves in a cold place, the image of a tall warrior talking to us, condemning the Goa'uld and telling us we will die here, that none of our magic will work in this place. Drey'auc and Teal'c are safe from my demon and without her magic her strength is nothing compared to theirs.

"Only Amonet will die and not leave this place," Teal'c said neither he nor Drey'auc letting us go and start to march along a path that Teal'c knows and Drey'auc is clearly following her husband's lead. My demon continues to beg, plead, demand, threaten was we walk this maze stopping only after we pass the remains of what she knows as a Unas.

"Be strong Sha're," Drey'auc says as we march through an arch and agony feels our mind and body. They hold us here and I find I need to fight to win my body a fight I will win. I want my life back, I want my husband, my Dan'yel, my father, my brother, I want my son...and I find that eternity, that forever of agony ends and my demon is...gone.

I am free!


	10. First Day in a Forever

First Day in a Forever

Daniel's dream

_Failsafe, for the future_, the words proceeded the vision of Amonet's, not Sha're's, never Sha're's hand upheld and pouring out pain into Daniel's mind. Over and over again he sees her raise her hand, pain follows and then she collapses as someone shoots her.

Yet during that time they were connected by the ribbon device, she continued to implore him to search for the child, her child. To not let her death stop him.

Her death.

Sha're is dead?

Sara's diary

Daniel's been in a fevered sleep for hours since they brought him back from P8X-873. Janet says she has done all she could. Whatever the ribbon device has done to him, he's not shaking it off. If Sam were here we could try the healing device. A tool Janet had wanted to employ as a regular part of her medical treatments since she watched it being used on Cronus. Yet our Sam has been a busy girl, and she can't keep saving the world, build the next wonder widget and be expected to study up on how to operate the enemy's doodads. Not that she'd believe that, and lamented not being able to indulge Janet. So much so our little doctor didn't bring it up anymore.

I'm sure Janet still wishes they could use more often, but agrees that Sam just doesn't have the time to learn how to use it properly like right now with Daniel. She wasn't here having gone off with Jack and others who intend to bring Drey'auc, Teal'c and hopefully a restored Sha're back with them. We only knew after they left that we would have liked her to stay here and try healing Daniel.

Sitting vigil with Daniel, he kept muttering something about Sha're being dead. I hope he's wrong. Jack said before he and SG-7 went off world that Teal'c and Drey'auc had dialed up Cimmeria and that means Amonet was likely alive and they were taking her there to have her removed from Sha're. However, no-one here was there when it happened. Jack and Sam were busy fighting and by the time Nathan had made it to the tent, both Daniel and Amonet were down.

I suppose it's not so much we don't believe Amonet and hence Sha're is still alive, Nathan, Jack and Robby verify that, it's not knowing if 'Thor's Hammer' on Cimmeria will work or not. It's not like we've tried it before and have only the brief example of Teal'c almost dying from it to guess at what it would do.

Daniel just woke briefly, and now is back asleep thankfully. I wouldn't be writing again to pass the time if he was awake. It was horrible when he woke up with the shakes, and then started to cry. Claire was there within moments and rocked him as he kept saying over and over again that Sha're was dead. It was like he couldn't or wouldn't hear us when we said she isn't. It didn't help our argument when we couldn't produce her.

"Where is she, where is she?" his words keep ringing in my mind as I write this entry. He had looked so desperate, and so despondent. He wanted us to prove him wrong and we couldn't, not beyond our words. I suppose if he wasn't so feverish that might have been enough, but right now he would only believe us if we had Sha're right here to show him, let him touch her and know she is still alive.

Oh Jack, you've got to bring Sha're back.

I suppose we're thankful that he's asleep though his fever hasn't gone down. The good news is Janet has announced it isn't going up anymore either.

Drey'auc's day

Teal'c made a fire the first night we made it out of Thor's Hammer. Since our symbiotes will help us regulate temperature and Sha're is human again, both my husband and I have given her our jackets to help keep her warm. Just as the image of the false Thor declared, our devices are useless inside, but as my husband had told me from his first visit here, his staff weapon worked once it was outside of Thor's Hammer.

While neither Teal'c nor I kept our staff weapons which could have started a fire we still retained our Zat'nik'tels. Not good for starting a fire, but once even a few flames licked at the wood he had gathered, either of our Zat'nik'tel could fan the flame to a full fire.

My husband laments not having Tau'ri survival kits that they normally pack on missions through the Chappa'ai, and I silently agree with him. Neither express such words in front of Sha're as she needs hope not despair. She has thrown off her false god and has the rest of her life with Daniel Jackson to look forward to. She must be made to believe this is but a slight matter to get through then she will be home with her husband.

While I help to keep her warm as she leans into the crook of my arm, my husband is out hunting for game. For Sha're should have some nourishment and our vest do not contain the 'power bar' that would have held her until we reached the Chappa'ai. Knives we still retain and I will use it to dress whatever game my husband returns with. I am fully confident he will return with something and not because it is a simple matter to bring down such with a Zat'nik'tel. First one must find game to shoot it, and a tracker of Teal'c's caliber will find a game if it lives in these woods.

Now that we deal with an open fire my cooking skills outside a Tau'ri kitchen are more suited than with stove top and oven. When, not if, my husband brings back game, I will prepare and cook it, Sha're will have something hot to hold her over until tomorrow. Teal'c says that it is a day's travel more to it and our I-D-C's will let us through to the Tau'ri's stronghold. We will not make it so far only to die at the defenses of the Tau'ri's Chappa'ai.

Sha're's saga

So cold, yet so warm. My demon is gone and my life is my own. I feel my Dan'yel waiting for me and yet is troubled. I have to hope he is alright for the last I have seen of him he was hurt by what my demon did to him. If only I could make her scream in pain a thousand times worse than she did when she died for what she did to my Dan'yel.

Drey'auc and Teal'c are doing so much for me, their garments I try to refuse, but Drey'auc points out that my dress is not made for warmth and all of us know that a Jaffa can handle being out in this cold better than an unprotected human. I must accept their charity if I am to see my Dan'yel again and my father. I do remember my demon watching as the Tau'ri rescued him from the pen she kept them in.

It is so strange this feeling of safety. I can sense the larva demon within Drey'auc as I lay curled within her arms and yet not experience distress. I know it is Drey'auc who hold me and keeps the cold at bay. It is Drey'auc who looked after my husband, and helped deliver my child. It was Drey'auc who kept Teal'c from doing as I silently begged him to kill me. She saved me, I accept this feeling of a demon within her because it keeps her alive as she does me.

One day I must repay these two Jaffa who have been so kind to me.

They have been so kind to me, serving me with care and compassion which is so different than the Jaffa that served my demon out of fear or misplaced faith. I feel so wrong letting them help me so, but Drey'auc reminds me again that I am not yet ready to care for myself so I must let them care for me. She struck down any further protest by reminding me that my Dan'yel waits for me, and they do this for him as much as they are doing this for me.

Teal'c returns with game and Drey'auc moves away from our joint embrace to clean and prepare the animal for cooking over the fire. She moves with skills I am familiar with and I briefly see myself doing so for my Dan'yel again when we get home.

_Oh Dan'yel!_

_Ina'kalesh!_

That word again rouses me from a restless sleep as I must have dozed off in the embrace of Teal'c. His strong arms around me I can see where no false god would stand against the one they call Shol'va out of fear. They should fear him, and O'Neill and my Dan'yel.

_Dan'yel wait for me, be strong, I am well._

For a moment I feel as if I am there and can see him so clearly. There in a strange place that I describe to Teal'c and Drey'auc, a place I remember being the stronghold of the Tau'ri when my demon had to go during the summit. Dan'yel is suffering and thinks I am dead! I must go to him or so my mind wills, with my body falling short of the task I so desire. Catching me in those strong arms of his again, Teal'c assures me that Doctor Frasier will take good care of my Dan'yel.

Somehow his deep strong voice reassures me and I can fall asleep again after Drey'auc's meal is served to us. I am grateful for the hot food, and feel better as I watch the flames flicker in front of me. Like a child watched over by her parents I feel finally safe and secure with these two Jaffa as I sleep peacefully as I have not in the last three years.

Waking up, it is Drey'auc I am against. Sometime in the night she had taken her husband place with helping to keep me warm. Though at one point I did have the impression of both of them on either side of me. Holding each other as much as they held me. With sleepiness still lingering in my eyes I slowly realize that Teal'c is not around and that Drey'auc's free hand holds a Zat'nik'tel.

Teal'c has gone on ahead having contact with O'Neill and they are bringing something called a 'stretcher' to help carry me back to the Chappa'ai. Drey'auc dismisses any danger with saying that Teal'c would not have left them if there was and her holding the Zat'nik'tel is merely to keep the fire stirred. A fact she demonstrates as she fires it into our campfire making the flames rise in the wake of the shot to greet the rising sun.

Curled up against Drey'auc I try to keep my fears from flaring like the fire just had. Drey'auc would have told me if Dan'yel was coming with O'Neill and so he must not be here. Could my dream be right and he is in a bed, fevered and hurting? Did my demon have spiteful vengeance in taking him away from me with the damage she did him? Dan'yel hold on!

_Dan'yel hold on!_

I startle not from the approach of Teal'c, O'Neill and many strange men, but of feeling as if my Dan'yel just heard me somehow. So shocked by this I am listless as that man the hue of Drey'auc and Teal'c looks over me, two others as fair as O'Neill assemble what I think I heard them call a stretcher as he and Teal'c lift me onto it and others pile blankets upon me.

At first these others switch off with O'Neill with carrying me down the mountain and along this strange land, with always Teal'c in the lead as if his Jaffa strength would never fail him. The others try to put up a front that they don't tire for Drey'auc I think. Not wanting her to take their place behind me on the stretcher to help carry me with her husband. They are like the men of home, of Abydos, trying to prove they are strong in front of women instead of admitting they might be tired.

If I was not so cold and tired I might find a laugh escaping my lips.

But maybe it is the same with Jaffa as it is with humans, that women do not do such work and it is only a man's place. For all the years with Amonet I never saw a Jaffa woman do so though I know from my demon that a Jaffa woman is stronger than human women, and perhaps their men.

Other men come, men not of the Tau'ri but following the words and commands of a woman dressed as they are in furs and leathers. O'Neill and Teal'c know her and I hear the name, 'Gairwyn' spoken as she has her kinsmen help carry me. This is so unlike the many times my demon had her slaves or Jaffa bear her up upon their shoulders. Not daring to jar her as they stepped along the path she directed them. These men carry me out of concern for me, instead of how Amonet was borne out of fear or false faith.

O'Neill is constantly at my side when he is not trying to carry me. I ask him about Dan'yel and he tries to tell me he is fine but I see in his eyes the worry that betrays his own concern for my husband. These two have come so far together since they came to my world. I can see all of that in O'Neill's eyes. He bares so much and is so strong, I can see again why my brother looks up to him so.

Na'than gives me a bar that tastes so oddly, and tells me I must eat as the light of the sun wanes. I over hear Gairwyn asks if we will stop for the night, that we would be welcomed at her table. O'Neill declines, but promises to come back for right now he wants to get me home.

Night has fallen when we approach the Chappa'ai, ready for me to cross and soon I see the familiar sights of the Tau'ri stronghold. General Ham'mond is there with a look of concern that I have seen upon my father's face and just when I think of him, he is there. My father gathers me up in his arms as much as the stretcher allows. He barely lets me go as others move me from a stretcher carried to one with wheels. The lights shining from above pass over me again and again.

I see the one called Jan'et who tried hard to save Cronus despite his being an enemy. She shines a little light in my eyes and asks many questions of Na'than before I finally see my Dan'yel. Jan'et tries to hold me down at first, but relents and lets me go to my husband.

He is suffering from a fever, so hot his brow his face wet with sweat. I look to Jan'et who says many words I do not understand as I search my husband's face and see the wound Amonet made as she tormented him. Soon Cart'er is there, who quickly asks me to call her Sam. Jan'et hands her a healing device and Sam tries to use it upon my husband.

I hear the words, "Let me try, please Jan'et, Sam," I beg them and with a reluctant look, Sam hands me the device. It reminds me of my demon, yet I push that out of my mind as my Dan'yel needs this. I will use what my demon showed me when she hurt, then healed. I will heal my Dan'yel.

_Ina'kalesh!_

I hear the words and his eyes fly open to take in everyone to finally settle upon me.

"His fever is gone," I hear Jan'et say as my husband reaches up to slide his fingers along my cheek. His disbelief melting in those eyes I have so longed to look into. Then belief is there, he knows I am real, we are healed of the demon Amonet and are together again.

We kiss, our lips melt into one another as we embrace. It is the first day of a forever we will spend together.


	11. Home Forever

Arthor's notes; I know I promised to rewrite chapter 8. I will get back to that. I wanted to put something out with the life getting a bit busy. So apologies to all (especially Sarai!). Also trying out purpleshrub's suggestion of dialogue, not my forte, so please everyone let me know how it worked out this chapter. I am trying to improve as I go on, like cutting down the backstory crossovers that will likely show up in a different series (same universe). Thank you everyone for the reviews and support!

Home

Sara's diary

Today Jack told me he is planning on talking to Daniel with an offer I really do hope he doesn't refuse. Now that Sha're is back he thinks he now has a good 'excuse' to bring it up to Daniel and sell him on the idea of buying Jack's house. Since Jack and I are getting married later this year we certainly don't need two houses and the Jacksons, yes I love having to write that now, will need a place to stay. Sure Daniel has his apartment, but he should get a house since he's no longer just living on his own.

Something permanent, and no its not lost on me that this is likely a subtle Jack O'Neill plan to anchor Daniel down so he doesn't even think about going to live on Abydos. It's a notion none of us like to think about if this morning at the SGC was any indication.

On the way from the sign in desk to my office I just kept seeing smile after smile on everyone's faces, I think even Robert had one and Jack was convinced Colonel Makepeace didn't know how to smile. It doesn't take a Sam, girl genius to figure out why.

Rescuing Sha're wasn't just for Daniel. Rescuing her was something that was a victory for the whole base. I can't think of anyone who doesn't like Daniel and it's not a stretch that they wanted to see him happy. Since there wasn't a man or woman on base who didn't know his wife had been taken by the Goa'uld, rescue of Sha're equated seeing Daniel happy with life.

You would think the discovery of his mother being alive last year would have equaled this, but that was more of a shock and surprise instead of a planned out goal that was won. Finding Claire was certainly a moral boost. Since Daniel has joined the SGC that poor man has been through so much that it's a wonder he hadn't really snapped as MacKenzie thought months ago.

Anyway, Daniel made it, Sha're made it, and everyone is counting it as a base-wide victory. I think Janet mentioned the other day how she's had to chase out of the infirmary people she didn't see normally outside of an annual physical. Most of whom she didn't even know Daniel knew them, and finding out nine out of ten times, he didn't.

So of course Jack is planning a celebratory victory barbeque for a 'select' few. Select because if he isn't careful the entire base is likely to show up. We don't have a backyard big enough, though he'd love to have everyone. Okay not everyone, unlike Daniel, Jack isn't as well loved nor does he love everyone. I'm sure there are a few on the base he wouldn't be sad if they didn't show up.

One of which actually will be as he's decided, with some prompting from yours truly, that it would be polite to invite the teams that were involved in the rescue. Jack was enthusiastic about that idea at first, then he sort of deflated, and looked awfully cute doing so, when he realized that a certain Colonel Robert Makepeace would be among them. Chris, Dave, even Guy though he falls in Jack's 'Carter country' classification of people he felt he could have a conversation with, he'd happily have over for the cook out, but when it comes to Robert, he'd rather have Dave's 'Casper kids' come than that marine and Drs. Venkman, Spengler and Stantz still weird Jack out with their paranormal 'mumbo jumbo' as he puts it.

Not that I believe in ghost mind you...not really. Okay, I'm still trying to put that trip to New York behind me. Seeing Charlie as a ghost or 'psychic manifestation' wasn't easy on me at all. Most things it's getting easier to pass off as SGC weirdness, that wasn't one of them.

Anyway, the other day I passed by where we store Robby off the gateroom and found there was much teasing of Will by Jack and Lou about how Robby just can't come because he won't fit in anyone's car or pickup. Lou did defend his 'teammate' somewhat, and definitely Will, saying maybe they'll just have their own celebration and Jack wouldn't be invited. I was just sorry I couldn't stick around for Jack's inevitable comebacks to Lou's latest volley. It wasn't as good as the Jack and Daniel show, or the Jack-Charles show when Kawalsky was alive, but Lou was getting better at it. He's going to be a hit up there on Moonbase Alpha.

This bout of teasing was just another of Jack's ploys to not deal with what's been bothering him this week, and it wasn't the possibility of Robert coming to the barbeque. Daniel is thinking about going back to Abydos to stay. Which is also understandable, Danny wants to give his wife a return to something familiar, give her time to heal and frankly the both of them time to heal after all they've been through.

Claire doesn't want him to go, but at the same time she won't ask him to stay. They'd just found each other after twenty-eight some years and this last year or so hasn't been a lot of time to catch up. Still she does recognize that Sha're is Daniel's priority now, and I can't help but wonder if Charlie had lived, met a girl and was going to go away like that if I'd be alright with it. Probably not, but I'll never know.

Sam announced at lunch today that a shopping trip is due. I concur with a trip to take Sha're out to shop for clothing. Understandably so she wants nothing to do with Amonet so the dress she came in with had to go and air force BDUs have nothing to be desired. So its time to corrupt another alien to the ways of Tau'ri women.

Time to make that girl feel like this was home for her.

Drey'auc's Day

Just because my promise has been met does not mean I no longer care about Daniel Jackson or Sha're. Teal'c and I carefully help manage how many visit them during the first day where Doctor Frasier observes them both to see how they fared in the aftermath of their difficulties, both of them having suffered by the hand of the false goddess Amonet.

When they were strong enough to move to Daniel Jackson's room, now their room, Teal'c and I finally were able to have our own kind of celebration for the victory of recovering Sha're and assuaging a wound my husband has harbored since Amonet took her as a host. I know there is much my husband regrets, much he wish he could atone for, and believes he cannot. That will not deter me from trying, reminding him of what he has done to help so many, and will continue to do. How much hope he has given his people, and his family.

It is still a delicate matter, the time between his renouncing Apophis as a false god, joining the Tau'ri and coming back for Rya'c and I. Not one we are ready to face full as we would an enemy to fell by Staff or Zat'nik'tel. I know now he had to do what he did, yet the feelings of abandonment do not entirely diminish not even after these two years. It is a foe we will need to master one day, just not today.

Rescuing Sha're is at the very least some healing and only when we are away from other eyes and ears does he let me take him in my arms and just hold him as tears of release fall. He has been strong for so long, I never begrudge him the moments where he needs to be weak. This time out of happiness instead of regret.

We decide that our celebrating will be more subdued than intended, the healing of spirits taking precedence. Another time will come where we will have 'wild Jaffa sex' as Sara has put in on more than one occasion of humor.

Major Carter has made a great suggestion with a shopping trip. I find I look more forward to that than O'Neill's barbeque, though not by much as I intend to finally bring something prepared by my hand to one of these Tau'ri celebrations. I had noticed at the last one that Doctor Frasier had brought potato salad and Raine Lone Tree had brought peanut butter fudge. I know Teal'c does not expect it of me, as I am not a Tau'ri woman, but I find I too wish to contribute and follow this custom of bringing food to such celebrations.

It is not as if I am not anticipating the event, it is just that the Tau'ri custom of a shopping trip is often more exciting.

I understand Sha're's reluctance to part from her husband after so long a separation, and while I do not see the hurry that the Tau'ri do with this trip, I do understand enough to not be surprised that she spends the beginning of such close to me. We are not only not of the Tau'ri, but I suspect she is like Cassandra Frasier, and pictures me as a kind of protector. I find I enjoy that notion and wonder if it is something Teal'c feels as a warrior.

Sha're is not as assertive as I suspect she will be once she is comfortable with us during this first shopping trip. Fortunately Samantha Cater guides her as she did me the first time I went shopping. While Sha're is not as enamored as I am with Tau'ri high heels, she does like the variety of dresses that their women get to choose from. It is good to see her smile, and hear her laugh at the end of the outing.

Yet I sense in the days following that there is a tension now in the stronghold that belies the joy of victory that permeated it days earlier. Teal'c has noticed it as well, and we think it is the possibility that Daniel and Sha're Jackson may leave for Abydos and not come back. If so, I understand the sadness, as does my husband. We do not wish to see Daniel Jackson go and we have only just gotten to know Sha're.

However they must be allowed to go their way. I only worry that other Goa'uld may try to return Abydos as Amonet had. To stay may not be the safest decision, yet Daniel Jackson is resourceful and as O'Neill may say, a 'survivor', so we should put our fears aside with that. It also puts the thought in my mind that maybe Teal'c and I should return to Chulak. It is no less dangerous than Sha're and Daniel Jackson going back to Abydos.

Teal'c reminds me that our fight is not over for the freedom of our people and while Chulak is now free of its false god, as Abydos is from Ra, our people as a whole do not enjoy that freedom. I see a fear in his eyes that I quickly attend to assuring him without words as my arms slide around him to let him know I harbored no thoughts of going back to Chulak without him.

Sha're's story

Everything is so new, so wonderful. My Dan'yel is here with me and my demon is dead. She sometimes visits me at night but otherwise she is gone and my life is mine once more. The first night in Jan'et's place of healing the presence of my Dan'yel drowned out my demon's haunting of my dreams. His arms, his smell, just watching him sleep, my demon could not win through that other than let me know she will not let me go.

"This is me?" the question sounded silly to my ears even as I asked it. Holding the image of me when we entered his room on the night Jan'et let us leave her place of healing. "It is the same as in your office," it is good to giggle again, to have something to giggle about and the sound of my husband as he sighs is so delightful. I missed that sound, an everyday sound, a sweet sound.

It is like his breathing as we lay in his bed tonight. My Dan'yel getting his much needed sleep, slumber he does not normally take from what the many visitors we had the day before had implied. Dan'yel said many he didn't even really know, but I can see in their eyes they know him, respect my husband and care for him.

They are happy for him, as my people will be happy to see me, as my father is happy. He had to leave to lead our people back to Abydos, but will be back for a great celebration O'Neill wants to hold at his home. Not that I believe my father is trying to outdo O'Neill, but he also announced a celebration will be held at Abydos and his people, and his daughter's saviors are all invited. I know my father would have put on a celebration to welcome me home in any case, but I think this one in two weeks is to not only show gratitude for salvation, but perhaps to show that not be outdone by O'Neill.

For the next two weeks my village back home will be very busy.

Just thinking of going back home fills me with joy. To be back with what I have grown up with all my life, to be with my Dan'yel again. Thinking about home takes my mind off of thinking of meeting Dan'yel's mother. He had told me she had died many years ago, and I remember when he first shared with me his grief that he had held onto for too long.

We had both lost our mothers at young ages, mine not as young as when Dan'yel had lost his. I briefly wish it had been a lie, a mistake that really some other woman had died instead of my mother, that she is like Dan'yel's mother had been, not remembering who she is and waiting to come back into my life as Claire Jackson is now with her son again.

"Good mother, I thank you for your son," the words sound awful to my ears and I find the ground far more interesting a place for my eyes than risking seeing disappointment in my new mother's eyes. I instead find her hands in mine, and then her arms around me.

"Thank you for making my son very happy," she whispers into my ear as she holds me. I don't know why but suddenly I just want to cry, to weep and break down holding onto my new mother. I know the term in-law, Dan'yel had more than once referred to Skaara as his brother-in-law, even though we had told me many times that among us family is family. That is probably why I now cling to my new mother. She is not a 'mother-in-law' to me, she is now my mother and it has been so long since I had a mother again.

I know I have a friend and feel as if I have a sister with Drey'auc. We say little to each other, but she has taken care of my Dan'yel and then taken care of me so well I do not think she could be anything but close to me. I needed that closeness when the women of the Tau'ri took me out on a customary 'shop-ping trip'.

So many colors, so many garments at these large markets where it feels odd not to barter with the vendors, though it is nothing like when my demon took what she wanted without regard to those whose wares she just deprived them off.

Seeing Drey'auc try out things first helped me relax, and Samantha's suggestions helped me enjoy looking through and at Tau'ri clothing. I found myself often wondering if Dan'yel would like this dress or that garment. Some of which Drey'auc could not try out as she was too tall for what they had and neither my mother nor Sara were of the sort to wear the choices Samantha or Drey'auc chose.

That was very worrying as I thought my mother disapproved of such choices, but she laughed her rich laugh and said such clothing was just not the right kind for her. So there is a kind of caste here among the Tau'ri and despite the fact I am her daughter, I am allowed to wear such but my mother's caste does not, nor does it appear Sara's caste allowed her. It may be because Samantha and Drey'auc are warriors and my mother and Sara are not. I will ask Dan'yel later.

I think Drey'auc misunderstood me about the strange Tau'ri footwear and I did not wish to draw too much attention about it. That it wasn't I didn't like the heeled high shoes, not when Samantha, even Sara said men love women wearing them, it was how unsteady I felt trying them out. I wanted to look good for Dan'yel, to look like the women of his world. I just could not manage with those heeled high shoes.

Painting my face almost reminded me too much of Amonet, but I have seen the women of this world, and all of them do it somewhat. Again the differences seem to split between my mother and Sara, and Drey'auc and Samantha. My mother encouraged me to try despite how she and Sara did not use as much. Drey'auc could not wait to try out each one and Samantha had to explain that some are good colors, others are not. It depends on the woman and sometimes what she wore.

This is a very complicated world of my Dan'yel's.

Like watching Drey'auc cook at Jan'et's. She intended to prepare a Jaffa dish for O'Neill's celebration and instead of an open fire I saw her cook meat for me back on Cimmeria, she used something called a stove-top that had circles she placed pots upon to heat up. I did recognize what must be the oven. Our village had an oven back home, though nothing this small or like the one that is to set aside on the counter to cook microwaves.

I so want to fix my Dan'yel something, and say so. "Cooking with Tau'ri technology is like learning to use the tools of the false gods," Drey'auc warned me, "It can be very difficult and seem so easy to do. I only know how to use a fraction of the technology in Janet Frasier's kitchen..." I see her smile now at some memory while she pushes a pan full of spiced meat wrapped in leaves into an oven, "...I have burned more than one dish that over an open fire I had learned to cook when I was a Chal'tii." I had heard the word before among my demon's Jaffa. So I think she means when she was a young girl.

Helping her make bread is where I feel much better with something familiar. "Sara," and I noticed Drey'auc has never used her full name as she does others, for that matter, she does not call me 'Sha're Jackson', just Sha're, "...has told me that we know more about baking bread than many Tau'ri women. They often have to use pre-prepared dough or something called a mix, in order to bake." This makes me feel more comfortable being among Dan'yel's people. I could learn to live here as he had among my people.

I did not even think that was the question until the actual barbeque.

"So why can't you two live here?" Jan'et's child, Cassandra asked at O'Neill's celebration in back of his house. The one he had asked Dan'yel if he wanted us to have as our own. To 'buy' it I think I recall him saying as he is marrying Sara and does not need two homes.

Dan'yel and I had arrived early from what he and others have said. So far I see O'Neill, Sara, Drey'auc, Teal'c, Jan'et and my mother other than Cassandra of who Daniel left me in the company of while he gets a drink for us. Another strange concept for me, on Abydos I would get him the drink, but even back on Abydos he was not the typical husband, nor ours a typical marriage.

"We might, I don't know if Dan'yel has decided to," I try the word out in my head before uttering it out loud, "Buy this place from O'Neill or not. Our apartment is big enough for us, I think."

"I mean staying here, on Earth," the child clarifies instantly, "I heard Daniel and you were going to move to Abydos and never come back."

"Cassandra Frasier," I hear Jan'et raise her voice in warning like my mother use to do when either Skaara or I were in trouble. Jan'et looks at her daughter sternly when she arrives and turns to me immediately after she has silently communicated her displeasure, "I'm sorry. Cassie just has grown attached to Daniel. We all have, but we also want to see the both of you happy."

It is a sentiment I keep hearing throughout the celebration. One that bothers me until Dan'yel notices it sometime after we've had servings from O'Neill's grill. The ham'bur'ger has a taste that is like a Mastadge I think. We only eat them during either lean times or when they no longer are useful for the village. Some of its meat is made into this. Though we have never used the meat to make a Tau'ri sand-witch.

"My husband, I think we should stay, we should come back after our time with my people," I do not need to see him to recognize my father's quick inhale of indignation. Which means I must have done it often enough for me to know that sound without sight.

"Sha're," his tone is much like Jan'et's with Cassandra, "It is not your place to say. That is for your husband to decide."

Odd isn't it that when Jan'et scolded her daughter, barely a head turned, and when my father scolds me everyone in the immediate area falls silent and stare at us.

"No, good Father, in our marriage we are equals," I listen and love how my Dan'yel empowers me so. I do not need to be a queen like Amonet, a false god tricking others into worshipping me for power, I have my Dan'yel. Nor is it just lip speak with no substance, I see my opinion carries much weight with my husband as he turns back to me.

"I just thought you would want to stay with your people after everything that has happened. To get away from anything that reminds you of what you suffered through," and he really means this too. I can tell he wants to stay, but my wants are more important than that to him. Even before I knew we had to stay, I would decide to do so just because of this moment.

"My husband, your work here is important. Friends who have scarified much for you and for me because of you. I would not ask you to leave your people for mine, and my place is ever at your side. If you wish us to go to Abydos and not return, then we will. I but ask we stay among the Tau'ri long enough to find my brother and my son."

My world then filled with blue eyes, his lips and the cheers of those around us. I knew even as we shared this moment between us that here is home.


	12. Past and Present and Future

Past and Present and Future

Sara's Diary

It seems to hit everyone like a blow when Jack's message came through. They think they've found out where Linea went to after she escaped from the mountain last year. The woman's been busy from what I hear, an entire civilization has amnesia of all things. Nor are there any of the old or young about, no children at all from what I understand. I'm more writing to get the shock of that last part out and I can only imagine what's going through Jack's mind right now.

Outwardly he'll likely just seem cold to everyone, he'll still through out the occasional quip, but inside he'll be thinking of what the woman did to all the Charlie's of that world. The Cassie's, the Rya'c's, the Merrin's, the Ally's all the children of that world. He'll be in denial as he'll demand for absolute proof, but inside kick himself over and over again.

Not that there was anything he could have done, any of us.

Well, that will be among the things I say to him when he gets back. Right now, I'm off to see Janet off.

"First time off world?" the question brought a small smile to Janet as she suited up in the locker with the other women, including Drey'auc which is why I was allowed in.

"It is for me," Maureen admitted trying to stay clam. If Linea is involved, Janet may need as much of her team as she could reasonable asks General Hammond to let go with her. Maureen gave her own shy smile, "Just imagine what I'll be able to tell Guy when he gets back." Knowing that SG-8 was off world or one John Guy Robinson would be either asking to escort or be on hand for when his wife went off world for the first time.

"O'Neill nor my husband would have said it was safe to go if it was not," when Drey'auc tended to give her rare contribution to what the rest of us call conversation, we tended to listen. Despite the escort General Hammond was sending along, I could tell Maureen was more relaxed knowing Drey'auc would be among them.

"But Raine is not going, right Janet?" seems a pretty lame question once its out of my mouth, as I didn't see her in here but I know she was called to the base.

"She'll set up here, run things for me if I'm off world for a while," which I add I'll look in on Cassie if that's the case. I know Janet had made arrangements anyway, but I think she appreciated my volunteering.

"So I won't be the only newbie going off world too?" the others didn't expect that question from Claire as she walked in carrying what the quartermaster gave her to wear. I'm sure the question 'you are?' was on everybody's faces save mine or Drey'auc's. Not that anyone expected the expression of surprise to every show from Drey'auc, she is as bad as her husband most times when it came to stoicism.

Yet someone must have actually asked as Claire said, "Yes, I am. Daniel may need help researching what had happened and since it's considered a priority, General Hammond asked if I wanted to go. How could I say no to that?"

Most of us realized why Hammond would have asked. If this was Linea's work, we're responsible and we need to put every resource we can to helping these people. It's our fault after all. I also suspect that the boys back in DC may not see it that way, and General Hammond is trying to sneak as much help in as he can before he's told he shouldn't.

I noticed Claire and Maureen tended to cluster together in the gateroom, not that I found that surprising. Both are closer to each other's ages than to ours, and both are first timers going through the gate. Hand in hand I watched them go through the gate.

Now it was time to talk to Sha're as she is less than pleased that Drey'auc and Claire went off world to help out and she has to stay on base.

Drey'auc's day

When General Hammond called me and Sara into his office I had no idea it would be to go through the Chappa'ai.

"And it's not so much because I expect any fighting at all, I don't. I want you to go because I'm sending several non-combatants that would be better assured, if you were there," General Hammond tells me and I see Sara nod in comprehension. One that I lack.

"My husband will still be there?" I ask thinking maybe SG-1 will be pulled out and that is why he wants a Jaffa who is likely immune to what Linea has done to go along, but he shakes his head.

"Not at all. SG-1 will remain as the first contact team. I'm sending SG-6 to assist in case things go wrong, or Dr. Frasier needs more hands that are medically trained. What I need you there is to assure Drs. Robinson and Jackson."

Sara gets it, I see it in her eyes before she speaks, "For morale Drey'auc. They trust you and you're a familiar face. Maureen would know Major Thacher, but Claire wouldn't know any of SG-6."

"Do no worry Claire Jackson, I will be there to watch over you," which I see brings a smile to her face. The wisdom of General Hammond is proven here in the locker room later after we had been dismissed from his office. I am sure she has confidence in the warriors General Hammond is sending, yet she trusts me to protect her more than them.

I find that strangely wonderful and fulfilling.

Since we are on the battlefield we will not show any overt feelings that we are husband and wife once our group meets up with SG-1. I note that I do not see Daniel Jackson or Major Carter just my husband and O'Neill. A slow nod that some would not think significant means volumes to the both of us. It is not as intimate as a Tau'ri kiss in public, but it comes close to the embrace they sometimes allow themselves when husband and wife meet.

It is brief, and in that shared instance alone I am comforted that he missed me and is glad I am here. I am sure it seemed strange to the others we did not say a word to one another before he turned and followed O'Neill out to escort Claire Jackson to her son.

Just as briefly I recall my words to watch over her, yet also my word to watch over Drs. Frasier and Robinson. Since my husband is going off with Claire Jackson and only strangers staying with the other two of my charges, my decision is made. I will stay here, Teal'c will look after Drs. Jackson.

I do not know if it is considered long before Doctors Frasier and Robinson have divined the answer, but they have in what seems to me a very short time. Soon I am following them to where my husband has gone and we walk into place of many books where SG-1, Claire Jackson and a native of this world are busy searching through the books.

Deciding back at the stronghold is the best way to take on this new enemy, O'Neill goes ahead to talk with General Hammond, leaving the rest of us to follow.

I notice the woman I have been introduced to as Ke'ra seems inordinately attached to Daniel Jackson. I see Claire Jackson notices this too, yet Daniel Jackson appears ignorant of this. I am surprised that once at the Chappa'ai Claire Jackson and I find a way to communicate much like my husband and I have on many occasions with but a look.

When Ke'ra takes Orner's hand, and offers the other to Daniel Jackson, Claire Jackson takes her son's hand even as I move to take Linea's hand. She is surprised, and again Daniel Jackson is ignorant of that surprise. Our gambit on his behalf, on Sha're's behalf, is successful and I go through the Chappa'ai with Ke'ra, Orner and Maaya all holding hands in a 'chain' as the Tau'ri would put it while Daniel and Claire Jackson proceed just as my husband and Major Carter had moments ago.

Sha're's story

"So I'm useless, that's what you are saying?" I know it was unfair to say to Sara, but it was what I felt. Dan'yel's mother, Jan'et and Drey'auc were all going to help but I was to stay.

"I'm staying too, and don't think that I wouldn't want to help Jack out if it was possible for me to do so," I see in Sara's eyes the truth of the statement and it does little to sooth the feelings I had when Dan'yel went on this first mission since we've been reunited.

"Look, neither of us are doctors, or archeologist. We wouldn't know how to help," again I know what she says is true, but it takes none of the sting out of the hurt I feel for being useless to my husband while I just wait for him to return.

"Cassie is getting out of school soon. Let's go pick her up?" Sara suggests, I am sure to give us something to do until our husbands return, yet I could not help but see if she had seen what I had during O'Neill's bar-be-que.

"Should not Rog'er Heal'ey pick her up?" I could see it so plainly that he was taken with Jan'et and she did not find his interest one she didn't return.

"It's a bit early for that yet. Not our way here. Janet and Roger should go on a few more dates before he's sent to pick up her daughter from school. We find that a bit creepy if that happens too early," Sara explains but I do not understand. When Dan'yel and I knew we were in love, and in the manner of our people, we are together within a night, not the strangely long 'courtship' rituals the Tau'ri go through.

"Where's mom?" were the first words out of Cassandra's mouth when Sara and I went to 'pick her up' after her time with Tau'ri teachers. I let Sara explain as I marvel at so many children in one place and time, all not afraid of false gods descending upon them. All ignorant that demons like the one who held me wanted to either enslave or destroy them.

I am so glad of my Dan'yel's work to stop them. He and O'Neill, Teal'c and the rest of the people at Stargate Command will stop them even as they had rescued me.

"What's the matter Sha're?" Cassie asks me as my mind wanders again to what Dan'yel is doing and how unhelpful I am to that work. I find I do not have the words to answer her and grateful Sara answers for me. I am not sure what she said, my mind drifts off again towards my husband, but it satisfies the child's curiosity and she does not ask me again.

Returning to Stargate Command we eventually meet up with Raine who tells us that the others will be returning soon and I miss what I think is humor when she asks me to just stay in the infirmary, that it is the typical place to find my husband after a mission.

From Sara's laughter I would take this as humor, yet the notion of it I find disturbing. Does my Dan'yel get so hurt so often that he finds himself here after every mission? Sara is not the kind of woman to laugh at other's pain so it must not be that. Unless this is the Tau'ri way of dealing with subjects of sorrow with humor. O'Neill has done that often enough that perhaps it is just their way.

I find myself rushing into Dan'yel's arms when he and strangers follow him, good mother, Drey'auc and Jan'et into the infirmary. I am sure Cassandra did the same, though I hear the question, 'Where is Sam?' from her lips soon afterwards.

Tests are run and I find the presence of the woman known as Ke'ra disturbing. She looks friendly enough, yet seems to look at my Dan'yel and I in a manner that seems she wants what I have. I find Jan'et's interruption with the results of the test very welcomed as this Ke'ra is distracted from my Dan'yel by what they are talking about.

Further more I am relieved when Jan'et suggests a tour and Sara interrupts my husband who I am sure was about to volunteer. From Sara's and Jan'et's looks I see what I had been on my mind since Ke'ra arrived, and I see it in Drey'auc's eyes as well later. It seems women folk, be they Tau'ri, Jaffa or Abydonian know what escapes men of any world. What good mother would call a 'Universal language'.

Dan'yel and I will talk of this later to let him in on what is obvious to the rest of us.

I find myself both glad and ashamed I am glad when Saman'tha, good mother and Jan'et tell us that Ke'ra is this monster called Linea.

It was good mother who helped Saman'tha translate the note book that was this destroyer of worlds, and Jan'et who confirmed the identity. Surely they will lock up this witch before she does more harm as she had with Orner's people?

Yet as I stand here this morning, brushing my hair as I look in the mirror, Dan'yel not wanting to believe what he had been told, I find myself thinking to when my demon made me do terrible things and if one of the survivors of those horrible times saw me afterwards, would they be as forgiving as my Dan'yel? Would they not consider those acts against them but in the past?

I find yet another reason I love my Dan'yel who looks to what a person is and not what they have done. Only if they would continue to do so would he not see redemption in them. He sees this in this Linea, in Ke'ra. If he sees this I will see this. I will not hold it against Ke'ra for liking my husband, she must see the forgiveness of her past that she does not yet know about in his eyes and spirit.

I go with him when we must explain General Hammond's order for Ke'ra to remain in her quarters.

She does not understand of course, nor does my Dan'yel explain everything. How could he? I understand that, the nightmares remind me what I have done, what my demon has done and again I am reminded of how my Dan'yel looked beyond my past and loves me for who I am in his present.

That makes my decision, the one I knew I had to make as I listened to my husband try to explain and how Ke'ra does not understand.

"Are Drs. Frasier and Robinson still working on a cure for amnesia?" I hear her ask as my Dan'yel turns to walk away, his shoulders carrying such a burden I feel it myself. I will help ease that burden.

"So I rest assured?" she asks after my husband answers her previous question, the anxiousness evident in her voice. His curt answer is filled with bitterness as he replies with a single, "Yes," and turns to close the door after him.

"My husband," I say not to further dissuade Ke'ra any longer, but to get his attention, "I will stay. She should not be alone." Looking past my Dan'yel I meet her eyes, "You should not be alone, Ke'ra." When my eyes met my husband's I see a bit of his burden, a bit of his regret, his bitterness, vanish and I know I made the right decision.

At first we try to talk about everything else but why she has to remain. I know that question burns within her, I can see it in her eyes. Yet if my husband did not say then it is not my place to say either. So we turn to when Dan'yel and I met and how we came to be married.

I was looking at the mirror when I saw Kosh in it as if he were in the room just behind Ke'ra who seemed unaware of his presence. He intoned a single word _"Ina'kalesh."_

Turning suddenly I see he was not there, surprising Ke'ra though of whom I see a compassion in her eyes as she asks me what is the matter.

It was then I decided to tell her of my time with the Goa'uld, not to frighten her but prepare her. For one day she too will have to come to terms with her past acts as I have to mine. I tell her of my possession and how I have done so many terrible things. Once I started I found I could not stop the words, the tears and did not push away from her embrace as she held me.

We both jerk up as there was a knock at the door. My tears had long since past, and dinner came and went but I strangely find I like Ke'ra's company because we share that one facet of our past. We've both done terrible things that our victims could never forgive us of. If it is within my power, she will never know who she had been.

My husband walks in with Drey'auc, his head low and ashamed. I do not think that he has heard our words earlier, he does not have the look of one who has and I know he has asked more than once to hear of the time I was Amonet. 'To help me get through it' he had said and even urged me to talk to someone about it if I could not with him.

He will be surprised to find out I had talked to someone after all.

Ke'ra and I follow Daniel out the door hand in hand, she is a friend now and I will stand by her as she had me this day. Drey'auc and the guards follow and I think it does not escape any of them to notice that Ke'ra and I appear to be close now.

Teal'c is there in the laboratory when we arrive and so is Sara who wears a sad face and asks me to follow, making my words hollow of promising to stay with Ke'ra the entire time. I do not begrudge my Dan'yel to take my place as I am shown into General Hammond's office, and find O'Neill there as well as Sara and something of my past on the General's desk.

Amonet's ribbon device. Goa'kesh'sha. Hand of God. My Goa'kesh'sha, the one I almost killed my Dan'yel with.

I look up with bewildered eyes at first O'Neill and then General Hammond who speaks. "Mrs. Jackson," he begins and I still am mixed about whether I like that address or not. I had been Amonet for the past two years and I find myself wanting to be just Sha're again, and yet it connects me to my husband, and my good mother, so I find I also like hearing its use.

"...it has come to our attention that you and the woman calling herself Ke'ra appear close despite what you know she has done. Therefore we want to take precautions to help protect you, our people and this facility in the event her memory or her former personality emerges. I have been told by your husband that you would like to remain with this woman and I ask on behalf of myself and this base if you will consent to wearing this once more and using it in defense if need be."

I find my eyes wet, and yet no tears come. I find I want my Dan'yel here and yet not. I think he would be outraged by this, having to face a past I want to put behind me, yet I know to help defend the ones who helped rescue me it is something that must be asked and I see in O'Neill's eyes the regret and in Sara's eyes understanding. Not the same understanding in Ke'ra's eyes, I think a part of her knows we have something terrible in our past in common. It is the understanding of what they are asking me to do.

"Sha're, Daniel won't survive loosing you and quite frankly I don't think I could myself. Please, wear this for just once when you're with," I see O'Neill wanted to use any other word but Ke'ra's name, "When you're with her. Just call it a just in case."

Sara is there by my side and her arms around me as I just stare at the Goa'kesh'sha and remember the pain it has caused.

For a long moment that is all I can see, then I see my Dan'yel's face a different way. Not being harmed by my hand, by a hand wearing the hand of the gods. He has done much to protect me, and during our fight against Ra he did not object to me using a pistol, or coming with him to fight. I will not fail him now.

"Yes," the first time I say it not everyone hears, so I raise my voice from the whisper it has been, "Yes, I will wear it."

Walking back to the laboratory I find that Ke'ra is not even paying attention that I am not there. I have to smile as I see she is so like my Dan'yel. When he is deep in his work a sandstorm could roll over and he would only notice if it caused him to stop his studies.

O'Neill takes Dan'yel aside to answer the question I see already in his concerned eyes as he noticed what I wear upon my hand. Saman'tha notices also and O'Neill gives a nod of his head that prompts her to follow him and Dan'yel out into the hall. Neither Drey'auc nor Teal'c question my wearing of a Goa'kesh'sha, I suppose for the same reason no-one questions either Jaffa for wearing their Zat'nik'tel.

I almost laugh as I realize Ke'ra did not even know how long I was gone.

Dan'yel is soon back with Saman'tha and as she rejoins Jan'et, Mau'reen and Ke'ra working towards a cure, my husband joins my side, his arms his scent, his look of concern all around me now.

"Something happened today, hasn't it Sha're?" my Dan'yel asks once we are back in our room. We had just finished walking Ke'ra to her room and then dropping off my Goa'kesh'sha at the armory.

"Ke'ra may have a cure," I know I am being evasive, and so does my Dan'yel as he comes up behind me to place arms and warmth around me.

"You know that's not what I meant. You seem...better," at his words I turn and bury my head into his shoulder.

"You have asked that I talk to someone about my time as Amonet...well I talked," and though I was not looking up at his face, I could feel his frown as he tried to puzzle out when. I could almost see his lips form the words of 'when' and hear the question when I answered it before he uttered it, "I talked with Ke'ra."

It was then I looked up into surprised blue eyes, "I am sorry I could not talk with you at first about this my husband. I just felt that we...Ke'ra and I had a shared past. We both have done things that left many victims," and I see the next question, which I hurry to intercept before it's asked, "I did not tell her who she was my husband, I told her what I had been. What I had done and found she accepted that."

"I know you do," again anticipating his objection that he did not, "You love me my Dan'yel. I know that as clearly as the air we breathe. I guess it was easy to talk with someone else who had a similar tragedy before her, because deep down inside I knew she would understand."

We spoke more about that and I was able to talk to him a little more about my time as Amonet, I may have cried myself to sleep in my Dan'yel's arms, but Amonet did not visit me that night as I slept.

Morning came and Orner was to volunteer, Ke'ra, as I knew she would, objected but Jan'et came up with a perfect explanation and would have been true under other circumstances. I did not wear the Goa'kesh'sha this morning, but did ask for the Ka'kesh'prim'ta that was stored with it.

Both good mother and my husband repeated the word nearly right while others were baffled by what I asked for. I could see that light of joy in my mother's and husband's faces as they learned a new word. That I had to confirm to them what I was speaking about, "What you call a 'Healing Device' is what the demons call a Ka'kesh'prim'ta...the hand of life..." I know more questions about root and more meanings would come, but O'Neill hurried us along, with Sara smiling, nearly giggling mischievously.

I am glad I asked for it instead of the hand of the gods.

Paying attention to what Jan'et was doing I found I nearly reacted when she did when Orner started convulsing. Pushing my way forward as Teal'c held Maaya back and Teal'c Ke'ra, I could see Jan'et's surprise and quick assessment of what I was trying to do. Even as I heard the sound I have come to mean that a man's heart has stopped.

Amonet would torture, but she would also heal to let herself torture her victim anew. I shudder and suppress the flashes of torture she afflicted and think back to how she healed, how I felt she gave of herself. No, not her, a demon wouldn't give of themselves unless they had to. In this moment I realized she gave of me first, my strength to heal, never lowering herself to give out of her strength to power the Ka'kesh'prim'ta.

Whether Orner would have recovered on his own or after Jan'et used the shocking paddles on him, I do not know, though I feel Orner was not far gone as either I or Jan'et believed. Still I feel him strengthen by my hand and see relief in Maaya's face and a notion in Jan'et's eyes.

Ke'ra wants to try again and again I see that same blindness my husband sometimes gets when he studies something of the past. The others aren't making her see, so like with my Dan'yel I find it is up to me, "Ke'ra, I think what everyone wants to do is take time to recover from this. I know I could use some time," which I now see in her eyes she understands. Perhaps a little too much than anyone would wish.

I am not surprised when she asks to speak with me alone when we get to her room. Dan'yel, Teal'c and Drey'auc nearly insist on coming in, "...at least take my wife in with you Sha're Jackson," Teal'c quietly suggests, but my Dan'yel comes to my defense. He believes in Ke'ra, he believes in me.

"I will be fine, but thank you," and the Jaffa realize I mean it. Out of any two people I have known since Amonet, they are beyond my husband, ones I fully trust with my life. I know they also still look after me long since we left the world of Cimmeria.

After the door closes behind me, Ke'ra does not waste words, "They think I'm Linea." It was not a question, but I answer it anyway with a 'yes'.

"That was why you told me of your time as Amonet..." her word were quiet and still as death, "You knew they knew...how?"

"It is something Dan'yel's people call D-N-A and it means they can take something of you, skin flake, a strand of hair, a drop of blood and identify the person from it alone," it still sounds like magic to me, but I see Ke'ra understands what I am referring to, "It is how they know you had been Linea...but Ke'ra..."

It is my turn to take her in my arms to hold, "...just as I am no longer Amonet, you are no longer Linea."

I had hoped she believed me.

Another success came the next day, just as Ke'ra knew it would. She just needed more time as she said yesterday. I had watched as she worked with Saman'tha, Jan'et and Mau'reen, everyone working to help others and I felt as peace being among them.

I heard them conferring with someone called Hel'ena overnight and occasionally Saman'tha would check a computer for this Hel'ena's words and contribution. Also Raine would stop by as she ran the infirmary while Jan'et worked on a cure.

Having obtained it, Jan'et and Saman'tha wished to go on without Ke'ra. I could see how much that hurt her. Mau'reen saw how much it did as well and asked to speak with her. I could not understand all of what they were talking about, save it had something to do with the Tok'ra and Re'tu, both names I know from my demon, but have not heard Dan'yel speak of yet. Both Drey'auc and Teal'c exchange a look that tells me this is a matter of great importance.

Ke'ra seemed amused that she could be of help with other problems, but I also saw a shadow of despair of being used. I hope Mau'reen notices that too. They were working on things I could not begin to understand, all of it to do with bio-chemi-stry. As Jan'et and Saman'tha worked on their test, Mau'reen and Ke'ra progressed to the point where Mau'reen asked for General Hammond to come.

O'Neill came with him and I heard Mau'reen ask if Ma'chello could be called, because she believes they are onto something concerning the possible Tok'ra-Tau'ri-Re'tu alliance. It sounds very big and my husband has soon arrived with good mother and Sara. The name sounds familiar to me as well, though I believe it is due to my demon's knowledge rather than someone I knew or Dan'yel has told me about.

Soon a very old man along with a blond woman who carries herself much like a demon would, arrived through the Chappa'ai. The man I am introduced to is called Ma'chello and he smiles and cackles delightfully upon finding out whom I am.

"So this is the woman you could not give your body to me for," he said delightfully, meant to tease and I saw my husband did smile, the words disturbed me at their implication as I did feel the Goa'uld within him and Anise. Yet Dan'yel did explain the Tok'ra to me and my demon does have memories of them, so I push down the instinct to run and hide from these...not-demons.

"I am sure my husband will explain this to me," and I notice that O'Neill winces more than Dan'yel. There is definitely a story here to be told. However, my Dan'yel pushes on with the conversation and fills both the Tok'ra in on what has happened, with Ma'chello vacillating between wanting to know about what happened to Ke'ra's people and what discoveries Mau'reen and Ke'ra had made.

It was quite late at night when we walked Ke'ra to her room, and while she gave me not a single reason to suspect a thing, I kept feeling as if Ke'ra was hiding something. I don't think Dan'yel felt that way and I did not wish to bring more suspicion onto Ke'ra by asking why she kept checking one pocket. Not that she did so much, just more than I noticed before.

Ke'ra seemed changed that morning when we came to get her. Something in her eyes, something I had seen in my eyes in the mirror sometimes when thinking back to my life as Amonet. Perhaps she saw it mirrored in my own eyes as the depth of our common bond I felt had deepened over night. She didn't say anything about it, there was just an understanding that wasn't there before.

"How did the test go?" she went on to say to Dan'yel and I felt to keep either of us from talking about whatever changed her, "About the cure and what Ma'chello found. I take it he is very interested now in," and for some reason I thought she was about to say 'my', "book, the notebook of Linea's he asked to see."

Dan'yel went onto to talk about how Ma'chello is thinking of recreating the accident somehow, perhaps develop the process for himself. "...he is after all, not expecting to have children." Which to me is a good argument of why one should not want to use whatever it was that made all of Ke'ra's people young again. No children...I would not want to live in that sort of world.

"And the Re'tu?" Ke'ra asked with a hint of pride, and self assurance. "He would like to work with you again on that if the test goes well with the cure this morning."

It did go well. Again I as ready with a Ka'kesh'prim'ta, and had about to push forward to use it, when Orner recovered and told us his name is Nodaal. He also had the look I have seen in O'Neill's eyes with Sara, and my Dan'yel's eyes with me. He looked at Maaya and told us the real name of his wife, Layale.

"...they will explain," the mood change was so sudden, I had to follow her out of the room as she left. I hadn't looked to see if Dan'yel had followed, I knew he had. "What will be done with me?" I heard her ask with a tone that was so much like my own when I talked to General Hammond or O'Neill after I came back to my husband's world, after Amonet died. It led me to a thought that was impossible. How could Ke'ra remember being Linea? She had not taken the cure, so it was not a thought worth bringing up.

Dan'yel talked about possibly her going back with Nodaal and Layale, after all their people would welcome her. He also suggested going with the Tok'ra, and from his tone I could tell that was not his idea. I think General Hammond and the others would feel safer if she went with the Tok'ra but my Dan'yel believes she would want to go with her the ones she calls her people. He volunteers to present that as an option by the time we arrive at Ke'ra's door.

She turn to my husband and speak words that confused me, "All debts have now been paid," and I did not feel a single twinge of jealousy when her fingers brushed my husband's face. Because it wasn't the affection she had before, this was gratitude, and something else.

I'd planned on going in to ask her, alone when Sara walked up and asked if I could come with her, Dan'yel too. Apparently Ma'chello wants to try the de-aging process on himself now that there is a cure and wants me on hand to heal if things go wrong. From what Sara nearly giggled about Ma'chello wasn't too anxious to trust Anise to heal him as much as me.

I almost didn't go. The way Ke'ra said, "I shall miss you Sha're...Daniel," worried me, but Sara said some haste was needed and so with my husband following along we left with only the words bothering me.

Suddenly Dan'yel turns and runs back, Sara and I exchange a look and run after him. Bursting into the room ahead of us I see why. Ke'ra is about to try and kill herself. I don't know how really, I just feel that as I can see it in her eyes. I've had that look since Amonet.

"Don't..." I add to my husband's plea not to do what Ke'ra plans and she corrects my husband about her name. We listen, at the moment Dan'yel does most of the talking, with Ke'ra answering. Then O'Neill, Teal'c and Drey'auc burst in, O'Neill's pistol ready to kill, but Dan'yel holds him off with words and a raise of his hand while we listen to Ke'ra plead to let us let her kill herself.

"..There are two people inside of me and one of them is a monster..."

"It is what I live with day in and out since my demon died," I interrupt, she talks of two of her. One loving my husband, loving me, and the other that would gladly watch us die.

He offers that she could forget and I take a moment to step ahead and beside Ke'ra, beside Linea. I could see how tempting it would be to forget, "Will you give this to me as well my husband?" the question rocks him I can see and Linea beside me. At least she is not considering death of herself at this instant.

"I would want to forget. All the faces, all the voices, the pleading for mercy, the hatred thrown up at me when my demon cared only for their torment or death. Would you let me forget, Dan'yel? I'm not sure I should. I'm not sure it is right to all those my demon had hurt...but I want to forget."

I take Linea's hand, look at her, and look at a bewildered Dan'yel, O'Neill, Sara, so many of my new friends, "May we forget our demons?"

"No...no Sha're, you're right," Linea pats my hand, "I deserve to live with the memories of my victims. It is my punishment, but you should not have to live that way," she begins and is interrupted by General Hammond.

"I'm afraid we can't allow that. Not even your suggestion Dr. Jackson. If she ever recovers her memory among the people of Vyus then she is free to commit atrocities all over again."

"There is another way," a creaky voice called from behind General Hammond, Ma'chello's voice.

"I wondered why my nurse wasn't around to oversee my treatment," he said tottering in with Anise holding onto his arm for support. "And I understand the concerns of everyone with Linea out there as a possible threat. I suggest the Tok'ra...not as her jail keepers, not precisely at least."

"You talk of two inside of you, one wanting to destroy, the other wanting to help. That is much like having a host is like. If you decide to take on a host then not only is your knowledge not lost, but you have a voice of reason inside of you, to help you keep in check those feelings you fear so much now," Anise could have sounded more caring saying that I think as I listen to her.

"I don't understand the Tok'ra too well, but a ...host," and I want to say demon so badly, "could help you. Even stop you if that other part of you does get out of control." Squeezing her hand I'm not sure if I'm trying to give her assurance or hold onto her for strengths. Tears and the moment passes and my voice is steady again, "It is a way to live if this host is what they say they are."

"My father has one in him," Saman'tha's words surprise me, though I had felt she had once a demon in her so those words say much to me.

"If Saman'tha Carter endorses it, then the Tok'ra can be trusted. It is a way Linea. A way to live with your nightmares as I am learning to live with mine." Not words I wanted to say in front of Dan'yel, much less everyone else in the room, but words Linea needed to hear.

I wasn't there to see Nodaal and Layale off at the Chappa'ai, Jan'et and SG-6 following them back to their world to start administering the cure. I walked with Linea, holding her hand as we followed Ma'chello and Anise. From what Dan'yel told me they want to make sure that the treatment to make Ma'chello young again and then restore his memory would work regardless of the symbiote, but they could do that after Linea takes on a host.

Watching the three of them walk up the ramp to the Chappa'ai, I now hold Dan'yel's hand and sigh with satisfaction. I am on the road of dealing with my dead demon, and I watch as my new friend Linea also is on a road to deal with her's. She stops at the top of the ramp, turns and smiles at me.

I know this won't be the last time I see her as she turns and walks through the Chappa'ai.

Author's notes: Mostly a Sha're story this time, I hope no one minds.

Continuity error creeps in as I changed how Sha're had Sam's name. I don't think I'll go back and change it from what I've already written, but I might one day.

There wasn't a post-Vorlix name for Layale so I made up one using the actress name who portrayed her in that episode as the basis for it. Marya became Maaya.

Totally made up word for the ribbon device, it always bothered me that there would be a proper name for weapons such as the Zat'nik'tel or the Hara kesh, but call the hand weapon of the Goa'uld a 'ribbon device', so I came up with Goa'kesh'sha, which in this work of fiction will mean 'hand of god' or 'hand of the gods'. I couldn't' find the Goa'uld word for hand, so I borrowed from Hara kesh since that is a hand worn weapon and Goa'uld is translated as god, with a stretch of 'sha' to associate of the gods as in the word Heelk'sha or Gods of the underworld. I did find out after all of this that there is a word Kara Kesh which means Hand device, however hand of god, or hand of the gods sounded more impressive to me. Hope you understand.

Ka'kesh'prim'ta also feel into this category of the Goa'uld would have a name for the Healing device. So I went with something I'm taking to mean 'Soul Hand' or 'Hand of Life', from the words Ka meaning soul or life (liberal translation), kesh meaning hand, and prim'ta meaning unite with me, it also means ceremony of implantation or the larval Goa'uld itself as well as the larva symbiote as well. Since it seems to take a bit out of a Goa'uld to use it.

One day I hope to come up with a word for staff weapon.

If anyone is wondering why I left Linea her memories it was only after I started writing this that it felt right, especially after writing about she and Sha're started sharing. I hope no one is too outraged about that twist from canon ending...and it looks like Ma'chello is going to be young again, it wasn't an intent when I started writing this chapter it just made sense once I involved the Tok'ra. Thanks for reading everyone!


	13. Father's Day

Father's day

Sara's diary

What an undertaking a 'simple' celebration turned out to be. I'm exaggerating the simple part as I heard Kasuf wanted the celebration of his daughter's rescue from the Goa'uld to be anything but simple. With the intent of being ready in two weeks, it took a few more to have his people settled back into their homes and rebuild after Amonet charged in to take them away.

Then there was the guest list, a very -large- guest list. I'm sure Kasuf could handle it, which turned out not to be the problem. General Hammond had to approve of all the teams Kasuf had invited. After all eight SG teams participated in the rescue operation and two of them were among the largest SG teams. From what Jack tells me its one thing to plan a large scale go-in-and-come-out operation its another to let so many people off world for what is going to be one large party.

So another part of the delay had been due to planning not just for that many teams off world at once, but the invitation included some of the base personnel like Janet and one Major General George Hammond. In the end it was a compromise of volunteers where most teams didn't have everyone going. Colonel Makepeace for instance, would stay behind while General Hammond if off world.

Speaking for myself, I'm excited. This is where my Jack came back, where Daniel caused his resurrection from the depression Jack threw himself into after Charlie died. I wonder if Jack will point out the spot where he believes he stood and decided to live instead of die. Probably if he did, he wouldn't give into such a maudlin request. Still, won't know unless I ask.

I know Claire is excited seeing her daughter-in-law's home, where she grew up, and that's just from the personal point of view. She's been almost equally talking about the archeological aspects of traveling to Abydos. I've heard that Kasuf wants to show her all around as soon as he found out she was alive and not has his son-in-law had told him that she was dead. In fairness Daniel, in fact the whole world, thought Claire Jackson had died instead of her friend who was mistaken for her.

No matter how many times I think of that it still sounds like a soap opera subplot.

Getting ready to go was worse than packing for a weekend at Jack's cabin, I guess our cabin in a few more months. No, even after we're re-married, that will always be his cabin. This reminds me, I don't think Jack ever mentioned if the damage was repaired from two years ago when so-called rogue NID tried to snatch our alien contingent of Drey'auc, Rya'c and Cassandra when Janet and I were out there. He must have, but there is always that possibility that he kept putting it off until 'another day'.

Eventually the list of those going was finalized, went over, approved, arrangements made and we lined up in the gateroom like tourist. Which in away we were, going off to Abydos not on a mission, not an overt one, as I think General Hammond cleared this as a 'goodwill mission', but as visitors who are technically on duty but expected to enjoy themselves.

Jack took the on-duty part very seriously. I think if this were year one of SGC and me, I would have balked at his bringing his mp5 along, or insisting that the other teams at least bring a side arm. Now I know it can get very weird, very bad, very quickly when it comes to anything connected to the SGC. We just have that weirdness magnet about us.

Civilians like me didn't go armed, definitely not Sha're, though I did see Drey'auc with a Zat. Neither she nor Teal'c brought along their staff weapons, or as I discovered recently with the Jaffa-human cultural exchange sessions its actually called a Kara'bashaak'tak, which Daniel and Claire thought it interested it was rooted in the word 'Bashaak' which is a wooden staff Jaffa trained with. Anyway, I'll leave it to their memoirs or inevitable papers they'll want to write for the whole dissection of the word and its meaning.

I don't think Josiah was packing, nor most of Dave's 'Casper crew', I think you have to remind Egon or Ray to be armed on a normal mission much less one that shouldn't require firepower. Anyway too many in the gateroom for me to tell and I didn't waste too much time after the address was dialed and hand in hand with my Jack off we went to Abydos.

Drey'auc's day

I did not expect to see my son and sisters on the other side of the Chappa'ai, but there they were once we walked out of the temple the Chappa'ai stood in. Apparently Kasuf had contacted Master Bra'tac who then brought along my family. Ir'ys and Ra'an stood there on either side of Rya'c who was trying very hard to be as stoic as his father in the way of a Jaffa warrior. Like many mothers before me, I succeed in keeping any thoughts of laughing deep down in my soul. My son is not quite completed his journey to be a warrior but no longer could he be thought of as a Chal'tii.

I know he wants to show me how far he has come, and most of all show his father, yet any demonstration he wished, ended with his Tau'ri friends rushing ahead to greet him. Robby had trailed behind Will Robinson obscuring most who followed him, and alleviating such concerns I had heard from others about his ability to navigate on the sands of Abydos.

As Will Robinson was flanked by his two friends JD Dunne and Vin-ko-taneck-o-pentay, they also saw my son and followed in Will Robinson's wake to greet him. While not among the ages the others are Buck Wilmington stood back a bit to let them catch up with one another before walking over himself. He was one of the few who spared with my son when he still lived with us.

Like my husband, I will have to wait on the reunion with my son, my sisters will fill the time. I can see the shadow of loss still over Ir'ys, not that I expected her to recover so quickly. The loss of a husband is not new to Jaffa women, but it still is a wound most of us do not forget easily. Ra'an being among the exceptions. I think her marriage to Fro'tak was a means to have children nothing more. When he was no longer the means, her grief at his death did not last long. Neither I nor my husband mourns him, his betrayal earned him cleaner death than either of us would have given him. O'Neill was mercifully swift by necessity.

Watching my husband greet Master Bra'tac I see what I do not think either of them have ever mentioned. Each regards the other as family, Teal'c the son Master Bra'tac never had, and Master Bra'tac a father after his own had been killed by Cronus. Their formality is as rooted in Jaffa ritual as mentor and disciple, yet their affection is evident to my eyes, my lips will remain silent on the matter.

Sha're's story

"Home, oh my Dan'yel it is so good to be back on Abydos," and the others from the SGC, Dan'yel and I have dressed in the clothing of my people. I smile as first my father and he greet one another, knowing my father waits to officially welcome me home even though I had been back once before since my demon had died.

"Good father, this is my mother," I hear Dan'yel again introduce them but in the way and tongue of my people, one good mother had been practicing with my husband for just this moment. They had met before after my father and our people were rescued from my demon, yet now the significance is that this is on our soil, the sands of our home, the spirit and ways of our people.

Then my turn comes and my father fills his arms with me.

My father had been greeting guest after guest for this celebration he planned after hearing of O'Neill's, having his own surprise for Saman'tha as her father is here to join in the celebration.

"Well, we decided to keep an eye on Abydos even before Amonet," he was explaining to O'Neill after he filled his arms with his daughter, "Which is how we were able to get word from him to you that they were in trouble." His face betrays his discomfort as he had no news for us about my brother, "...but we are keeping an en ear out about Klorel. If we hear anything, we'll let you know."

I can see something else bothers him, and I think Saman'tha sees that at well, which is good for soon I am swept away by my father and many others of my people who are glad to see me.

They nearly all stop when Kosh glided in front of our pathway. It did not seem like movement, but one moment our way was clear, the next he was there, "...and he leaves no foot prints at all," my Dan'yel remarked.

"Share demons die more quickly than those faced alone," we listen to him simply say. My Dan'yel looks puzzled, and certainly my father and good mother are as well, but it did not take me long to glean meaning from his words. Talking with Linea helped me, and helped her, neither of us would have done as well if we faced our demons of the past alone.

"I will tell you later, my husband," satisfies him, my father may have other questions, but this was not something he needs an answer to, and fortunately in the manner of my people I answer to my husband now and not as much my father. Later, perhaps, I will be shocked at myself for thinking in such a manner, but it serves me well now.

Dan'yel did take a moment with my father, while others went to the place of feasting, "Good father, do you know why the one called Kosh is here?"

"No good son, I do not. He showed up at the Chappa'ai and only answered with one word, 'Ina'kalesh'," my father knew many words as the head of my people, this was not one of them, leaving it to my husband to explain, something both of us knew he would if he knew, seek out the answer if he did not.

"I think it means soul bound, as in two lovers, husband and wife..." and I know that look on my Dan'yel's face, he wants to know more. This time he did not have the opportunity to seek out answers that eluded him. O'Neill, Sara, General Hammond, and Jan'et were walking over. Jan'et more than once looking over to where Cassandra talked with Rya'c and his friends.

"He also said 'Father's day', Dan'yel the words sound like ones of your people," my father added and placed a questioning look on the faces of the others as they neared. My Dan'yel agreed sharing a look with good mother and smiled when O'Neill spoke up saying that, "Father's day is long over with, I think ol' one eye needs a monocle to read our calendar right."

Dan'yel and good mother shared a look, and then my husband spoke, "Not necessarily Jack. Father's Day is celebrated on a variety of dates worldwide back on Earth...in fact..." I saw that adorable way he frowned when he is trying to remember something, something good mother fills in for him.

"In fact, about now in a place called Luxembourg on our world, the first Sunday of October by our way of reckoning time, it is Father's day," good mother pointed out more to O'Neill for some reason than to the rest of us.

It was the first time I heard General Hammond laugh, not a loud one, or a long one, but it was a laugh and good to see. He is like my father and mirth is not often something he could express often less others think he did not take his position seriously. We know General Hammond does, and so it is good to see him able to indulge with even a short spot of a laugh.

I was happy to see it was not the only time he did let himself do so. Once we gathered around a huge fire that I found I had missed. The heating of the Tau'ri does so better than even Amonet's palace, but this had been my life, what I was use to before my demon took it all away and buried it in nightmares.

Kosh was right, talking with Linea helped sink some of the nightmares into the sand, and I am glad he came here to remind me of that. Maybe I will talk more with her after she settles with the Tok'ra. Maybe one day I will have the strength to talk to my Dan'yel about them.

This time of feasting was wonderful, and a very joyous time. It is the manner of my people to do something like this when we have thought someone lost in a sandstorm only to find they lived by some means after. I was lost to my people as surely as if a sand storm had taken me.

For now I shall let the fire, the dancing, the food, and most of all the stories take me away from the time of trouble, and into this time of life.

"Happy father's day Dan'yel," I whisper as I lean up against him. My father is in full voice as he leads the tradition of telling stories of the one thought lost now found. A way to remember how happy everyone is that they are back, that I have returned.

Dan'yel turns to me slightly to not disturb how we...cuddle, as Sara has taught me the word. For a moment I worry he did not get it, but then I see understanding in his beautiful blue eyes. Apophis may have sired a child with Amonet through me, but Dan'yel loves the child who is my son and helped delivered him to life. He searches hard to find him, so like Jacob, Bra'tac, my father, even Kosh to some way I cannot explain but feel he does, Dan'yel is more a father to my son than the demons ever will be.


	14. When Jolinar's Away

When Jolinar is away...

Sara's diary

I certainly didn't expect the surprise at the gateroom today, certainly not the multiple ones. The Tok'ra came to call with more bad than good news. It was only good because Charlie was among their contingent, but even a visit from him was on the bad side.

He now looked fourteen years old.

Let's see if I can properly recall what Janet and Maureen told me. When the Re'tu were force growing him apparently the accelerated growth continued and what was an eight year old soon grew to his teens. His symbiote, Basif, did slow his growth, but it took the work of Linea to arrest it so that Charlie wouldn't be in his twenties by the time Jack and I remarried.

Unfortunately this wasn't the only bad news the Tok'ra came with as they told us Sam's dad was caught by Sokar. Now Jack and the team are off to go rescue him, and from what Jack was saying without the backup he wanted.

However, afterwards when SG-1 sent a report from Vorash that the Tok'ra are trying to contact Aris Boch and hope he shows up. They had also reported that a Group Captain Alan Carter had safely arrived and is ready to go with them.

Toto gave me the update on who Group Captain Carter is and I had to laugh. I never realized the Carter clan was so large and wide spread. Though not as much as SG-13's Ray and his extended family going international ranging from Swiss to Scottish to Russian. I guess he left the Carter line Australia, with the rest right here in the go old US of A.

There is her Uncle Vince Carter, Gunnery Sergeant US Marines, retired I think, her Great Uncle Andrew J. Carter, Technical Sergeant, US Army, definitely retired and a World War II veteran, then there is her Cousin Jack Carter, U.S. Marshal, and now Toto tells me that this Alan Carter, who is involved with the Moon Base, is her cousin.

Apparently Andrew Carter's era of family who fought in the war, one of them settled down in Australia, which is eventually where Alan Carter, Group Captain in the Royal Australian Air Force comes in. Well, formerly RAAF. He's an astronaut now, and famous for being the first Australian in space, though not the first Australian born, that honor went to Philip Chapman.

Anyway, he knows Helena's husband John. Flown with him on the shuttle, which is where they met and remained in touch. Now if that isn't a case of small worlds, Alan was instrumental in getting Sam's childhood friend John Crichton's Farscape project off the drawing board. He had to go to Australia to get part of the Farscape module built though, and it's where John jr. is at now. Definitely either a small world or a case of cosmic nepotism.

Which reminds me, Claire has been less-than-forthright with spilling about any further 'contact' she's had with one retired astronaut Colonel John Robert Crichton, Sr., I'll need to ask about that soon. I think love in the air, and my next door neighbor better keep me informed.

Speaking of love in the air, Janet tells me that she and a certain Roger Healey of SG-10 have been seeing each other. She thinks Cassie approves, which is a major step for Roger, no pun intended for Major Healey.

I'm writing all of this to take my mind off the fact that, as Jack puts it, he's off to go to Hell. I think I like Daniel's name for the planet better, and will henceforth call it Ne'tu. This shouldn't be any different than any other impossible mission SG-1 has gone on, so Jack will be back. I know it, I have to know this. I'm signing up for it after all. This won't be the last dangerous mission he goes on and as the future Mrs. O'Neill I better make sure I know what I'm letting myself back in for. Unlike his career with special ops, I know most times what his missions are about. I hope it makes it easier to bear rather than harder.

I suppose this makes the offer to go off world something for me to do instead of just waiting for Jack to get back. Not that this wouldn't be what I would do but this time Charlie wanted me to be there for him while Linea and they hope Maureen, would go to where the Tok'ra are to work on a drug that would calm a symbiote in the presence of a Re'tu.

It's suppose to be a stop-gap measure as it won't let the Re'tu able to spy around the Goa'uld, but would let the Tok'ra and Re'tu met. It would let Charlie able to visit the place he considers home. I know the Tok'ra have their own motive and all, but while I would never see Reetalia as any kind of home for myself, I can understand Charlie doing so. He was born there, its where his 'mother' made him.

Drey'auc is going along of course, along with SG-6, and Maureen with whom Linea especially requested. I do understand the General's hesitation about sending either of us to where Linea is, but the Tok'ra vouch for her, and for me, most of all, Charlie wants me there. He's not my Charlie of course, but he's a Charlie I have grown attached to. Of course when Jack gets back and finds out I went to where Linea is he's going to go ballistic. But he's a big boy now, he'll get over it.

Let's just hope I do get back for him to get over it.

Drey'auc's day

I feel I have purpose when General Hammond entrust me with the safety of those he sends out through the Chappa'ai. SG-6 seems glad to see me, it has been since P2Q-463 that we have worked together, but I see in their eyes they are ready to trust me.

The insistence of Sha're to come along surprises everyone but Linea, who actually is happy she wants to come along. They have a bond of shared experiences for while one had been called the destroyer of worlds, the other has had a Goa'uld as their master, the false gods are certainly destroyer of worlds.

Helping both Sara and Sha're dress in BDUs occupy my time as we get ready to go on our journey, and I can tell both are trying to remain calm in light of their husbands off on an explicitly dangerous mission and knowing they may not be here for them upon their return. It is a disquieting thought I also have as Teal'c would be expecting me upon his return, and depending on which of our missions finishes first, he may end up arriving back before our return.

Still he will appreciate this, it is a possibly the next step in a Tau'ri-Tok'ra-Re'tu alliance.

While we are traveling among allies, I still think it prudent to go with both Zat'nik'tel and Kara'bashaak'tak, what the Tau'ri call a staff weapon. I do not understand Sha're's reluctance to bring along one of the Goa'kesh'sha, not at first, but then it comes to me. It holds memories of her as Amonet's host, she is reluctant to put on the hand of the gods unless she needs to.

This means her safety is further entrusted to me.

We arrive at Vorash greeted by Garshaw of Belote which shows us how important the Tok'ra see this, but Maureen Robinson and I notice that one we expected to see is not here. "Where is Ma'chello?" I hear Doctor Robinson ask, "I would have thought he would be apart of this."

"He has accompanied the party to Ne'tu in hopes of upgrading the Tel'tak they took with the stealth system that more modern Tel'tak appear to have," I note that Garshaw is not happy about this decision, but either whatever storm brewed by what troubled her calms or her host Yosuuf decides to speak. Of course the voice tells me immediately it is Yosuuf speaking.

"Come. We want to thank you for coming at this very important stage of an alliance that could radically change the Tok'ra's struggle with the Goa'uld."

"I know we were close to a solution, but I thought that was still months away at best," Maureen Robinson speaks in her gentle and calm manner, one that I find has its own strength, yet nurtures as she does.

"Ma'chello and now Linea have altered that time table," all of us easily recognize that Garshaw speaks again, whatever temper she was in now gone, "It is why we am less than pleased he went along. He may be young again, but he should not risk himself in the field."

Rings surprise Sara, Sha're and Maureen Robinson as they fly up out of the ground below us. I had a notion they were here by the way the Tok'ra were gathered around us. I imagine their sudden appearance and our disappearance have shocked SG-6, but they soon join us still carrying Doctor Robinson's equipment.

"You see Ma'chello is close to a device that will filter out or mute the...vibe a Re'tu gives which is so painful to ourselves," which I note she does not say symbiote as it the symbiote Garshaw who speaks, "However Linea believes she has come up with an elixir that will desensitize us to the Re'tu presence. It will not help Re'tu spy on the Goa'uld but it would let us meet with the Re'tu and of course Charlie to visit his homeworld as he wishes."

I see this pleases Charlie whose hand had not left Sara's since we started our journey through the Chappa'ai, just as Sha're's hand had not left Linea's.

Sha're's story

Linea's hand hasn't left mine since we walked through the Chappa'ai and I can tell she is both happy to see me again and excited about what she has done. She gives my hand a reassuring squeeze when the rings rise up to take us down to the Tok'ra base. I certainly did not expect them, nor did Sara or Mau'reen as their surprised gasps mixed with mine. Drey'auc either knew what was coming or she has mastered her Jaffa stoic front they present to all even the false gods.

"It was the least I could do, and did provide a challenge to me that required creation instead of destruction," I hear Linea speak calmly, perhaps proudly, yet her hand holds onto mine for strength. She still battles her demons and the shadows they have left in her heart.

"Garu has been of great help stilling the part that likes to destroy," I feel her hand relax a bit with this truth, "Just like arresting Charlie's accelerated aging. I had a head start on that with my work with Darkhol and the effects of aging. From there an arresting agent was found after a bit of study...now desensitizing a symbiote without making one groggy or too numb...that is quite the challenge, which is why I wanted you to come Dr. Robinson."

Letting go of my hand, Linea turns to Mau'reen, "I saw that you have some innovative thinking when it comes to this. I'm hoping you can provide the final step we need."

I have watched Jan'et and Saman'tha work like this and some of it I grasp and it interest me, much of what I see now does not and I find myself by Sara and Char'lie often. Particularly when they run another test on the boy. Sara and I will hold his hands why they use devices, some like the Ka'kesh'prim'ta, but I see it is clearly not. I think this is something Linea and possibly Ma'chello have devised for themselves.

"I think that is it for me right now," Mau'reen admits and though I did little but help comfort Char'lie with Sara I feel the hour is late.

I do see Linea wants to continue, such words on her lips, but she does not speak them. Unlike the other Tok'ra, Anise who does not seem to care that we are tired.

"We are so close, perhaps just a little longer," Anise starts but then her voice changes from that of the Tok'ra, I try hard not to think demons, to her host, I understand her name is Freya, "Forgive Anise. She is just excited. We shall continue in the morning."

"Dan'yel...Dan'yel do not believe him! It is a trick Dan'yel! A trick! I am alive Dan'yel! That is not O'Neill! Not O'Neill!"

"Not O'Neill!" I scream waking to concern faces all around me. Linea, Sara, Mau'reen are there looking at me as well as Char'lie and Anise of the Tok'ra. Words leave my mouth before I stop them as I see in their eyes the lack of belief, "Apophis, he lives and has my Dan'yel!" While Drey'auc holds me, which is why I didn't see her immediately, I see some doubt fading. First from the Tok'ra and then the others.

"But he died at the SGC...Teal'c carried his body to the Stargate to give it to Sokar, right?" Mau'reen asks hoping as I would have, that the demon was still dead.

Basif speaks through Char'le's lips and I keep from shuddering recalling the Tok'ra are not demons, "We believed it was always likely that Sokar used a Sarcophagus to revive him to torture him. I just...Sha're how do you...know that Apophis is alive?" The Tok'ra's hesitation heralds the doubt that I see take root in their eyes again.

"Ina'kalesh," Kosh's voice drifts over the heads of those around me, and they all turn to see the Vorlon standing there where they hadn't noticed him before it seems.

He was looking at Sha're directly, which caused the others to look back at her. "We had legends of them long ago, but it was said that Ra commanded them to be killed whenever they were found. Dan'yel would know more, I think he found more information about them while we lived among our people."

"Sha're Jackson are you well?" Teal'c's voice surprised both Drey'auc and me. Neither of us knew he had returned, or that Kosh had gone with him in the first place. "I am Teal'c," answering I feel the slightest movement from Drey'auc and feel so selfish and ashamed. I know she wants to go to her husband and greet him, yet caring for me she won't leave my side.

Right now I don't really want her to either.

My Dan'yel is in the hands my demon's lord and I feel weak and ready to fall in despair without Drey'auc's strength, and Linea's and Sara's around me.

"There is an old Jaffa legend that Master Bra'tac had told me when I became First Prime of Apophis of one order he did not expect me to ever have to carry out. That was if I was to find any of the Ina'kalesh I was to kill them, whispering because the Goa'uld fear them."

"It was back about five thousand years ago, there used to be many Ina'kalesh or soul-bonded," the voice of Garshaw walking into the crowded bedchamber with many parting to give her way. Her hands held before her formally she walked up to the foot of my bed and knelt to talk to me, "The Ina'kalesh were two beings carrying half of the same soul. They shared a bond with each other, and it is said they were bonded together for all eternity. The Goa'uld destroyed them, seeing them as a threat. For when a Goa'uld took some of the Ina'kalesh as hosts and it only ever lead to that Goa'uld's death because the separation it caused the host and their mate to suffer was overwhelming."

"Jolinar was believed to be one of the first of our kind with Lantash, and we treasured them more for that beyond anything else for it showed we are not Goa'uld," Anise added words that I sensed was to share in the knowledge spoken, for the look in her eyes said the information Garshaw told us was Anise's to give. From what I remember from yesterday, she is a historian, like my Dan'yel and better than most.

If Garshaw paid her any heed I did not notice as Garshaw turned from me to look at Sara and Mau'reen, perhaps because they are women of the Tau'ri, or so I surmised from her next words, "We believed that their host Rosha and Martouf shared in this and it is possible that it passed onto Samantha Carter."

From Anise's eyes, I see that she had -not- intended to share that information.

Sara was not alone with the widening of her eyes, but she was to speak first, "Did anyone think to tell her this crucial information?"

"It was legend, and a hope. There is no way to know for sure with her and Martouf anymore than to confirm it with him and Rosha. It is not something we may test for," the words seem bitter for Anise to utter them.

My eyes went passed her and others followed as we looked at Kosh who was the first to call me such.

"The wind had already blown and the dust settled," he replied to the unasked question.

"A Vorlon never gives a straight answer," I hear Anise comment without the others paying her heed. I think they share her exasperation but wish Kosh's good will and so will not speak what is on their tongues and in their hearts.

I think Garshaw thinks Kosh has nothing forthcoming and so she rises to direct the moment elsewhere, "We must meet. Teal'c you have news for us?" I watch as Teal'c inclines his head and most of the Tok'ra move to leave and after a shared look with his wife, he follows.

Kosh remained, as well as Drey'auc, Sara, Linea, Mau'reen and Char'lie. I see SG-6 outside of this chamber looking in anxiously. "Don't you need to go too?" I hear Sara ask Char'lie and Linea, my friend shaking her head, but it is her host who speaks, "We are not on the High Council yet."

"Yet?" Sara asks before I do.

"I believe Linea will earn us the right, just as Char'lie will if an alliance can be forged with the Re'tu," Garu speaks through Linea's lips.

"If?" came Ma'chello's voice as he walked in past SG-6, "We will succeed in developing a filter for us and a mask for the Re'tu and since they hate the Goa'uld, we hate the Goa'uld, an alliance -will- form. Hatred of the Goa'uld makes strange bedfellows isn't that a Tau'ri saying too?"

Sara smiled, I could see what would have been a giggle with other women, "Yes, Ma'chello that is."

"I think I solved the phasing problem, which may help me solve the Re'tu mask as well," he started to share with Anise as the two of them left.

Soon I stood by Drey'auc after she shared a farewell with her husband and we watched the Tel'tak lift up into the skies with a very unhappy Ma'chello standing with us. "I know Anise can handle what I've done it's that I only -just- made it work."

"But you're needed with the demonstration model of the Tun'rak'a'tak, Ma'chello. You and Nfar must be ready to travel with us to meet with the Re'tu when it is time," Garshaw reminded him and somehow I felt that time was near. It is perhaps why Kosh stayed with us instead of boarding the Tel'tak with Teal'c, Alan Carter, and Aldwin.

It was much later in the day when Sara, Char'lie, Mau'reen and Linea joined Drey'auc and me as we wondered the Tok'ra complex. Linea quickly took me into her arms and I could feel her sense of accomplishment, excitement and triumph.

"We've done it. Something to ingest that will let our symbiotes still sense the Re'tu but not be in pain. Ma'chello has is mask ready and if Mau'reen and I could get a live Re'tu to help participate we might come up with something a Re'tu could take instead of relying on some device."

"Nothing wrong with technology, Linea," Ma'chello sounded to my ears as slightly offended.

"But it fails, chemistry does not," she insisted in what appears to be an old argument, "Your Tun'rak'a'tak is still unreliable, nor could it even be used to cloak us."

"It's not a cloak, it's like a...tuning fork. It adjusts the Re'tu so that their 'vibe' does not disturb or even be sensed by a Goa'uld. I think the Tollan have what I need, if I could only had time to work with them on it."

I could not help the giggle that escaped from my lips. Ma'chello still sounds as testy as the old man that he once was to me, and from his grin at me, I think he believes so too.

"Aris Boch has arrived," a Tok'ra named Jalen I think, announced after finding us. I suspect she was only looking for Ma'chello and Linea because she seemed to only briefly acknowledge us.

When we arrived at the council chamber Aris Boch was talking with a Tok'ra I believed I heard was named Korra. Dan'yel told me about their time when the bounty hunter had SG-1 and let them go.

"Doc!" Aris turned to notice only Mau'reen at first, "Please tell me you have something for me." I could see in his eyes that despite his flippant tone he really wanted to hope.

"Actually Mr. Boch I am onto something that I hope with Linea's help," I saw him flinch at the name, "I should well be on the way to first synthesize roshna and then provide a cure from it."

"Until then, Aris Boch," Korra said gesturing at several cases was brought in by a few Tok'ra I hadn't met yet, "We have procured these for you."

"What does this mean for us, Linea?" I ask because I feel his arrival does signal something important. I overhear Korra explain what the 'Destroyer of worlds' is doing here with the Tok'ra. Reaching out to put my hand in hers I squeeze it as I realize she is trying to ignore the words of Aris Boch and think of anything else but her past.

"He is going as Charlie's guardian when we send him to Reetalia. The Rebels might try to block Charlie's return home and any of us might be mistaken for an enemy. In fact, so Charlie might. Hopefully Aris Boch will be able to," Linea then squeezed my hand, "And then we'll go after him once he's signaled they are ready to talk."

Realizing we are not going back to Earth, I hope my Dan'yel will understand when he returns and does not find me there and he will return. I know it, I have to believe it.


	15. The Devil is in the Details

The Devil is in the Details

Sara's diary

Jack is going to be less than pleased when we make it back and file this report, and a report will be filed. General Hammond had that tone in his voice when we radioed back with the change in our itinerary. Going to Reetalia so directly after a way was found for Charlie to do so was not what he was briefed about, so it was understandable that said tone underlined his words.

Of the many things I remember from our previous marriage, Jack does not like surprises. If friends wanted to throw a surprise party I had better let him know on the sly and he'd certainly act surprise, but he did not like it when a surprise was just sprung on him and this qualifies as a surprise. It will just be after the fact of the first one. He certainly didn't know I would be heading off world with Charlie when he showed up with the rest of the Tok'ra earlier. To his mind, I'm safe and sound back at the SGC as he risks his life to save Sam's father.

So yes, Jack is going to kill me. That is if I don't die of this 'adventure' first. Perhaps I should have known that a simple outing to a Tok'ra base off world would lead to another mission to take Charlie home to where he was grown as a way for our people to talk. I didn't have to come, I know Garshaw didn't expect me to and Drey'auc would have followed on my heels if they let her.

But no-one with a symbiote or who had once possessed one should go at first. They were taking a big chance with Basif in Charlie as it was. Anything more and it might have confirmed thoughts of another invasion of their world by the Goa'uld or at least a trap.

They may still think it is, but I wasn't going to let Charlie walk into this alone.

I feel his hand in mine tighten as we walk out the other side of the wormhole and think back to both clones and my real son's. I still remember holding who I thought was my Charlie's hand back when all of this started, and my son's hand before he died, and now a boy who wanted to be called by my son's name.

Occasionally, though Drey'auc would say not so infrequently, I'd make a comment of 'What am I, alien den mother?' and perhaps that is part of whom I am what I need to do to contribute to all of this. Yes by now I know how to fire a gun. Jack saw to that after more than one base invasion happened. I also remember how to fire a shotgun from growing up on a farm. Not that one automatically assumes the other, it's just that sometimes pest control was needed and Dad wasn't always nearby to do it.

With a pistol, I still would say it's safer for all around if I just wait until the enemy is near and throw the gun at them. Do more damage that way and I might even hit.

So I leave the shooting to Jack and company, to do what I seem to do best, comfort and care for those in need. I suppose I could have been a nurse, but in light of what Janet and her team could do, not to mention Sha're and that healing thingie she has, I'll leave the actual field of medicine to those who know how.

I'll stick with Jack and a series of aliens that have acted far more human than some I've seen in my life. Particularly the NID thugs.

That day I walked with Charlie who had a Tok'ra named Basif in him and for our defense, a bounty hunter named Aris Boch who could see the Re'tu with that helmet he is wearing. So at this time only the future Mrs. Jack O'Neill would be blind and deaf to any Re'tu who happened to walk up and either say 'hi' or 'kill them'.

It was not a comforting thought.

"So Mr. Boch..." Sara thought she'd start a conversation to not only pass the time but calm her nerves and Charlie's if the death grip he had on her hand was any indication of his mood.

"Aris, Mrs. O'Neill, you can call me Aris. With what your people are doing for mine, I think you have the right," the highly armed alien said as they strolled out to what seemed like Sara to be an empty plain.

"It's..." Sara again considered the futility of explaining divorce and the upcoming remarriage to someone likely having no reference to the concepts, and just resigned with an, "...okay, Aris. Why you on this detail?"

"Well, you could guess the Tok'ra don't want to chance it by getting the already Goa'uld-shy Re'tu with a number of them coming through the gate. No-one knows if they could tell if someone was carrying a symbiote or not, or if they just know a Jaffa or Goa'uld by what they wear, like with Charlie and Teal'c in your infirmary."

"You know about that?" Charlie spoke up embarrassed as he recalled his first reaction to Teal'c. Mother hadn't been afraid, but he was ready to run as fast as he could anywhere except where a Jaffa stood.

"Tok'ra kid. Selmak made a report to the council, Korra told me. I think Jacob found out from Sam," Aris added as Charlie certainly didn't recall the Tok'ra around when Teal'c or Drey'auc first walked into the infirmary.

Charlie nodded and then looked up, smiling. "Home...we're almost home!" Sara looked at the boy who still hadn't let go of her hand, then at Aris as both of them were looking at something she obviously couldn't see.

"I take it you two see something?" she prompted she thought most politely, the edge in her voice was barely noticeable...so she thought.

"Its not much, Mrs. O'Neill, even if it wasn't hidden by Re'tu technology...it would hard to see the way they have it camouflage," Aris explained as they continued to approach, "I suspect with TER tech that the Goa'uld have they wouldn't rely only on their 'invisibility' to hide them.

"Welcoming committee..." Aris interrupted himself with a very casual tone. Sara hoped it wasn't a Jack O'Neill code for 'we're in big trouble but I'll let you figure the obvious out' because so far it wasn't obvious.

Not even when Sara did see someone walking towards them, failing to see the two Re'tu beside this someone, or the ones taking positions up in the rocks she, Charlie and Aris were approaching in a dry gorge they were headed towards. If Aris saw the Re'tu take position he didn't say anything, but he was looking up and around the rocks rising up on either side of the trio.

Charlie decided that Sara's nerves weren't wound up tight enough, at least how she would think of this later, by announcing, "We're surrounded...up in the rocks." Linea's concoction, also as Sara thought of it, dulling the pain of the 'vibe' Basif was picking up while not blotting it out. Of course Charlie could see Re'tu and caught snatches of sights of them as the more experienced Basif would know where to look tactically speaking.

So Sara directed her gaze at the person, the little girl she corrected herself, walking towards them.

"Hi," she said to Charlie, and then looked first at Sara, then Aris before returning her gaze to boy that seemed her same age.

"Hi," Charlie replied, "You're like me." It wasn't a question to which the girl nodded.

"Mother had started me the same time as you, but she knew time was short and she had to get a warning to the Tau'ri sooner than she'd wish...is she...?" and Sara felt a lump in her throat as Charlie's hand tightened a bit, at least his death grip had relented a while ago, and replied, "She's dead. Killed by the rebels."

For a moment the girl just stood there and cried, and before Sara knew it, she'd let go of Charlie's hand, he had let go of her's and she was taking up the young teen into her arms. "It's okay honey...I know she would have wanted to be there for you," she was saying among shushing noises and rubbing the girl's back.

"I don't suppose you guys could lower your weapons...they're having a tender moment here," Aris suggested, hoping all parties could stand down. He was ready to activate his shield, but that would likely be interpreted as hostile.

"Sara lost her son. She understands grief," Charlie volunteered to the girl who was to the point of sniffling now, "She let me be called by his name, Charlie."

Sara was particularly proud she hadn't stiffened when Charlie mentioned her son. It might she was learning to live with the wound in her heart, but also at this moment it would send the wrong signal to this girl she held in her arms.

"Would you call me Charlene then? That's the girl name for Charlie isn't it?" she asked and what could Sara say to that, but yes.

"Sure honey...Charlene it is."

Charlene turned to Charlie and asked a question so innocently Sara nearly laughed, "Why aren't you dead?"

Somehow Sara realized this wasn't the blame of a survivor. She'd seen some wives whose husbands didn't make it back with Jack in his special ops days, blame Jack for surviving when said spouse didn't. Sara had done it to Frank before the news that Jack had lived after all and 'only' spent four months in an Iroquoian prison.

Charlene had asked a-matter-of-factly, as if she were only interested in the answer.

"The Tok'ra..." he answered and looked left and right quickly as if trying to head off some protest or outcry, in fact Sara wasn't sure that was precisely not happening. She didn't notice Aris ready with his force field, neither had the Re'tu.

"No wait...they aren't Goa'uld. I know what the rebels have said, those we've intercepted, but they're only attacking us because of the rebels. They aren't out to get us. In fact," and Sara watched as the teen seem to straighten up in the manner of boys trying to be men before their time since time immemorial.

"They want to ask about an alliance."

Sara could only guess about the uproar over that announcement.

Drey'auc's day

Aris Boch has sent the signal, the Re'tu wish to speak with us. Sara has also said she was fine to help confirm that neither she nor Aris Boch are speaking under duress. While I do not believe Aris Boch is particularly reliable, regardless of what my husband says, I hear in Sara's voice the tone I need to know all is well.

I would not wish to report back to O'Neill that I let something happen to his wife.

Handed an eyepiece that Ma'chello says works like a TER, I slip it onto my eye, the ear and nose piece insuring it will stay in place. All the Tok'ra going have one as it is only with the Transphase Eradication Rod technology we could see the Re'tu even though Linea's potion will still let us sense them without pain.

Garshaw is insistent that no weapons be taken along. We are to rely on Aris Boch if things go badly, which I find not a comfort. One shared by SG-6 who also does not like the idea. Major Thacher will still go along leaving Captain Kerr and Lieutenant Jones behind to organize a rescue or revenge if need be. Captain Beach will go along with Doctor Robinson, Sha're and I from the SGC.

Some among the Tok'ra try to talk Garshaw from going, as well as Linea and Ma'chello, yet she is just as insistent about who has to go as she is about the weaponless ness of our party. They need the Tok'ra who can explain to the scientist of the Re'tu what has been done and what could be done with an alliance.

Apparently Charlie has been successful in also letting them know I am not a threat. Once we have stepped through the Chappa'ai not a single waiting Re'tu points a weapon I can clearly see them carrying now. They are not my first Re'tu that I have seen, having caught glimpses of both Charlie's mother and the rebel Re'tu at the SGC stronghold. However these are the first Re'tu I have gotten to take long looks upon and not from behind the barrel of a TER.

Sha're's story

Linea and I walk through the Chappa'ai hand in hand though I am the more nervous of the two of us I think. Our trip to help is taking me farther from my Dan'yel and his facing Apophis. I know he will prevail, I know it. My Dan'yel has before and he has beaten Ra, he beat Amonet, Hathor...so many demons that Apophis rising from the dead will only be another one my Dan'yel defeats.

It's what I have to believe.

Only with the Tok'ra eyepiece do I see what these Re'tu are like and it is only Linea and Drey'auc's presence that keeps me from fleeing like a little child afraid of monsters. I have to remember that the Re'tu can be like my brother's demon Klorel and spy out things my Dan'yel and the others need to know. They could help locate my son, and most of all they can show my friend Linea that she can work to help others and not listen to her demon from her past, the old Linea.

"See, isn't this better," I try to draw the scowl I see forming on Linea's face with my words, the poison in her mind, of her past, "Not just living to solve a riddle, but helping others. Like Aris' people, they could also be a valuable ally that you could free from the Goa'uld."

My eyepiece was off then and the earpiece that let us hear the Re'tu so I was surprised to know they had been listening to me. Linea soon gave my hand a squeeze, and I saw in her eyes it was her not her demon that was ready to talk to a crowd of Re'tu I didn't want to see.

"Come on Sha're, let's walk around the ...Nest while they talk," Sara suggested with a two children in two. Charlie I recognize, but not the girl his age, which Sara notices, "This is Charlene, Charlie's sister. They grew her to also talk to us but were able to get a better handle on how she aged."

I noticed that Sara wasn't wearing her eyepiece either and one was brought along for her, which makes me feel better in a different way than when I see Drey'auc wearing her's. I feel protected with her along as she'll watch out for us, the children, Sara and I.

"There you are," Mau'reen locates us much later after we have wondered around tunnels and caverns where part of the Re'tu technology we simply could not see, the rest looked incomplete or like artwork I have seen in Dan'yel's apartment as we pack for us to move to our new home when Sara and Jack marry.

"Captain Kerr has relayed that SG-1 has been successful and are on their way home. I need to stay, I want to stay for while as the Tok'ra and Re'tu talk, the biotechnology these people have are so far ahead of us," I have seen Saman'tha with that look and my Dan'yel. Mau'reen will stay as long as she is permitted, not caring at all what the Re'tu look like. Yet I feel that she would not shy away from them even if they had nothing to offer.

I wish I could be the same.

"Our husbands will expect us back at the SGC," Drey'auc speaks the words I am sure Sara already knows as I do.

"I want to be there for Dan'yel, to hear about Apophis," Sara still looking skeptical about my vision, though I do see belief in Drey'auc's eyes.

Both Charlie and Charlene share a tearful goodbye with Sara, but I hear the words, "...of course you can be in our wedding Charlene...Charlie is going to be a ring bearer, we'll need a flower girl." It is only later that I learn that according to Tau'ri tradition both are too big or too old. I forget which when Dan'yel explained to me in the same breath as dismissing it as a special occasion as 'technically', a word I hear from the Tau'ri often, they are actually too young being each only a year old.

I leave such details to such as Dan'yel or Linea, I will just be there for them, for all of my new friends and family beyond my home of Abydos among the members of the SGC.


	16. Footholds

Foothold

Sara's diary

Sam showing up on my doorstep was among the last things I expected today. I had been inwardly fuming about Judi's surprise visit as she dropped over to say hi, and catch up. Normally one Judi Witwicky would not be unwelcome in my house. Both she and Ron have been our friends for so long and didn't pull away after Charlie died. I couldn't say no to her.

And right then I had wanted to. Drey'auc was over as I wanted to explain 'having tea' in a more domestic setting than back at the base. I'd have included Sha're too but Janet wanted her around with teams off world, which means injuries are likely starting with SG-6 that was due back this morning.

Besides with SG-1 off on a lead to find Sha're's son, I don't think I could have pried her away from the base with a crowbar. Not that she would know what that is.

Fortunately Claire dropped by to help me explain, and I suspect watch to see a Jaffa's outlook on this 'Tau'ri' custom. I know that's probably unfair, but I can't hide the nagging feeling that my neighbor and co-worker is always studying everything around her as if the anthropologist in her was updating her files for a book she plans to write later.

She also ran great interference between Judi and Drey'auc.

Sam's appearance might have filled me with dread if she'd been wearing her dress blues. She without Jack, Daniel or Teal'c and I'd leap to my greatest fear. Jack was dead. However her eyes didn't fill me with confidence when she not only just brushed by me, nor when she immediately asked to if I could get her a plane ticket to Washington, with myself and Claire going to Indiana.

Running away isn't what I think is right, but Sam knows what she's doing and a Foothold situation is not the time to balk at what are essentially my marching orders. We're going off to Sam's great uncle and we're to hide there. If anyone but Teal'c, Drey'auc or herself show up, we're to stay hidden.

I'm guessing either someone's great uncle got security clearance, well higher one as I found out -after- we arrived, or he just trust his great niece and doesn't need to know more than necessary.

When Claire and I arrived at the airport there, it was her uncle Carter that met us at the air port. The Carter clan is closing ranks and now we have two retired military to watch us in case the bad situation now gets worse.

It got worse...surprise, surprise.

Not immediately, the former Sergeant Major was all smiles and confidence as he drove us out to the farm in Indiana. "Nice flight?" Vince asked as he couldn't about why the two women from what he knew as a secure and classified facility were heading out to the middle of nowhere to hide and not because of a security breach on their end. Sam wouldn't have sent them to this unofficial safe house otherwise.

The fact they needed a safe house and one was set up by Andrew had Vincent thinking maybe it wasn't so paranoid to have packed as much ordnance as he did...unofficially. Unfortunately he later found out that his precaution turned out to be precisely how they were found.

Evening to morning, one retired Technical Sergeant Andrew J. Carter showed demonstrated to Sara and Claire that he 76 he was not spry but far from needing all the help he had around his farm now. Hired hands and the advent of automation took care of the actual farming, but when he wasn't driving a tractor, or overseeing what was being done, he was still puttering around in a chemistry lab of sorts he had regaling them of his adventures...with Sam.

Even with their clearances, it wasn't precisely declassified what he really did back in War World II, though he thought that was just a matter of time now.

"...so Mrs. Carter was off to town with Mark when Sam and I indulged in a little experiment with explosives," Andrew said while fixing breakfast for them, shooing Sara out of the kitchen more than once. Claire was more than willing to sit back and let someone else cook, and Vincent, 'Vince' as he had asked to be called, didn't have a domestic cooking bone in his body.

Sure dump him out in the field to survive and even at age 63 he wouldn't starve at all, put him in a kitchen and he was only marginally better than Sha're with cooking...and that was only because she was still learning what did what in a Tau'ri kitchen. She would only burn something once, not like Vince of whom his late wife Bunny called his attempts to cook 'assaults on beach of baking' since the aftermath made everything look as if it had been 'baked' black.

"...we needed that tree stump removed and while we could have dug it out eventually, something Mark wasn't looking forward to, or invite neighbors over to have a tree pulling party, well what we would have called it back then, or I could introduce the brilliant Samantha Carter to the world of active chemistry."

"So it was you," Vincent said shaking his head as Sara and Claire laughed. Sam's love of blowing things up was known around the base. It wasn't the first thing to come up about Sam, but sooner or later it would come up.

"Our little secret," the old man put a finger to his lips and then fell silent. Sara had seen that look on Jack's face before and Vincent not only knew it, but he had that sense of something wrong as well. About the only one who didn't was Claire and she was silent as the anthropologist in her fell back into study mode.

Andrew shut off the stove and pulled the pan off the burner, moving to front of the farmhouse with Vincent, Sara and Claire in tow. Together they looked out the window at the gate where they saw Colonel Robert Makepeace walking down the path, two of his men flanking him. They had a casual gait to their walk, but Vince spotted first that they were armed.

'Anyone but Teal'c, Drey'auc or Sam' ran through their minds and Makepeace fell under that anyone category.

"I'll just put up a front, at best you were here but went on to visit O'Neill's cabin," Andrew whispered his strategy and stopped, they all did as Makepeace passed in front of Andrew's ethanol fueled generator, and his image shimmered.

Sara and Claire were use to SGC strangeness by now, Andrew and Vincent had lives where the less-than-common things happen, still the two retired military men had not experienced this kind of oddity and both women felt their eyes on them.

"Okay real quick as we don't have time and I hope you believe me," Sara went on as what she assumed fake marine strolled forward, "there are such a thing as aliens, what Sam was hiding us from is what we call a Foothold situation as in our base has been compromised and right now I don't think that is really Colonel Makepeace walking up to your front door Andrew."

Her point was emphasized as the two marines walking behind Makepeace also shimmered when they passed the generator.

"Okay, out the back let's go to the shed," it was the way that Andrew said that last word that caught Claire's attention, Sara was just following along as if the two men were Jack in an emergency. She just did and didn't question, taking time to question could get one killed.

Out the back door, Vincent making sure it didn't slam, the four made their way across a small patch of ground that seemed odd as it wasn't cultivated like the rest of the farm. It seemed out of place and dug up a bit but not with furrows for farming.

Claire pushed such observations to the back of her mind as Andrew led the way into the shed where his chemistry lab lay and something very new, a large satchel. Vincent smiled as Andrew looked pointedly at it and unzipped it. Pulling out a pistol he checked it and handed it to Andrew who also checked it and laid it down beside him puzzling the retired marine.

"I take it you suspected something to bring along an armory?" Sara asked as she was handed a shotgun, "And that I knew how to fire this?"

Vincent gave only the slightest of shrugs, "I did some checking on you folks last year after our visit to support Sam about Jacob. I saw top clearances and some friends from the marines in post they had no business being in. You don't take top marines and post them in a mountain where you don't expect action. What I could find out about you is that you spent some time on a farm growing up. I only guessed that your father Mike was the kind of man to teach his daughter how to fire a shotgun on a farm. He had a permit for one after all."

Had being the operative word Sara briefly mused, after Charlie guns were a thing of the past among the surviving Kozak family members number two now. After Sara's mother died, farm life ended and life as a mechanic's daughter started as her father took up fixing things at a gas station he bought after selling the farm.

Remembrances faded as Sara noticed that not only had Vincent handed Claire a pistol, but she started to check it rather competently.

"You know how to fire a gun?" Sara asked incredulously. To her knowledge Daniel never suggested that she learn, nor had she ever said she could.

"Digs aren't always in the safest or law abiding regions in the world you know," Claire replied as she completed checking the pistol that Vincent handed her.

"You know how to fire a gun?" Sara repeated still in shock.

"Mel and I weren't Indiana Jones mind you, or what's that movie last May that Jack dragged Daniel and the rest of us to see, the Mummy with Brendan Fraser...we weren't Rick O'Connell or Evelyn Carnahan, but we were ready to defend ourselves and especially later on after I had Daniel."

"You know how to fire a gun?" Sara repeated still in shock.

"Sara, get over it," Claire urged, "You're still probably a better shot with all the 'extra' coaching Jack gave you." The comment causing Andrew to smile and Vincent to spare only a glance over them after checking his carbine.

Andrew had been rummaging and his face beamed as he found what to their eyes looked like a detonator.

"Mr. Carter?" they heard 'Makepeace' call out from the backdoor. Apparently they had gone inside and it wouldn't take a Sherlock Holmes to see that breakfast had been cooking, the table set and no-one was at home.

"What are you doing?" Sara grabbed Andrew's arm as he made his way to the shed's door.

"Providing bait," he replied with a light in his eyes that took years off of him, "You just be ready for afterwards."

"Hey, no heroics," Vincent had an idea what Andrew was up to, they all did, they just didn't know what he was about to blow up.

"None planned, I want to live to find out the rest of the story here...aliens...nice..." wiping the smile off his face he felt like he was back in the war, under Colonel Robert E. Hogan and they were just again about to outwit another party and plan of the Germans.

"Wha?" he hoped he looked surprised as he walked out of the shed and stopped in mid-motion of closing the door behind him. It hid the detonator he had in hand.

"Mr. Carter...I don't know if you remember me from last year, but I work with your grand niece, Major Samantha Carter..."

"And Sally called me paranoid," Andrew muttered as he noted just when 'Makepeace' walked over the right place and hit the switch.

Makepeace went up into pieces, but it was something completely alien that rained down in pieces after the smoke had cleared. Andrew had hit the ground as the 'marines' one behind their leader reached for their weapons to have Vincent lead the way out of the shed firing his M4 to take out the one 'marine' who seemed more on the ball than the other.

Vincent took out his partner as he had dodged fire from Sara's shotgun, the pump-action sound motivating a seeking of cover that let Vincent take the shot.

With pieces of one alien strew about and now the bodies of two more-or-less intact ones, Vincent quietly went around the farmhouse to make sure there were no more as Claire helped Andrew off the ground.

"I'm sure there is a reason for a mine field in your backyard?" the former drill sergeant's voice climbed up familiar decibels as he returned to report all was clear.

"Sam and I called it the 'Killing field' and it's where we experimented with explosives. Only when the others were away...I'm fairly certain it would have stopped the moment anyone found out, especially my wife Sally. Anyway, after last year I went back to tinkering, thinking of inviting Sam back out here when she got a bit of leave. Had a story I knew she was cleared to hear..." he took a look around, "And I thought it would be the strangest one she'd ever heard, but this...what's the term, 'trumps me'."

"I suppose there is a story here?" he prompted as Vincent gathered tarps to cover the bodies, no-one was certain whether they could be touched or should be. While the senior Carters hadn't seen that much science fiction over the years, they had enough to know they don't know what the right thing to do is.

"Tell us while I finish fixing breakfast and we put a watch on the bodies," Andrew said having seen more than his share of horror movies. He certainly didn't want the old 'turn-my-back-and-come-back-to-life' shtick biting them in tailbone.

Apparently everyone else thought the same, no-one put away their weapons for the rest of the day.

Drey'auc's day

Judi Witwicky is an interesting Tau'ri woman of I kind I had not yet met. I believe Sara described her as 'flighty but fun' and I begin to see the truth of that statement. When Major Carter arrives at the door, for some reason Claire Jackson found it necessary to focus the talks with Judi Witwicky. Sara calling me over allows me to deduce something is wrong and it is important that Judi Witwicky does not find out what.

We are going on another plane ride. Like the time we went to visit Captain Larabee, and Samantha Carter makes me practice who I am to say I am if asked. Drey'auc Akinnuoye. Sara rolls her eyes and asked if the 'boys' under Colonel Stryker are Lost fans.

It seems inventive as me, like how they were able to encourage Judi Witwicky to make a hasty departure, though I am not sure she was certain that it was indeed faster than she might have wished.

While Sara had been to this nation's capitol before, it is my first time as well was Claire Jackson. She and Sara will go to visit Major Carter's great uncle in In-dee-anna. While Major Carter and I go on to the place she also calls D-C.

I cannot believe she wants to contact Maybourne. The man who almost killed my husband, and tried to abduct me. Yet she says he is our only hope to saving the others. I find this difficult to believe, and in fact I do not but will follow Major Carter regardless of my feelings on the matter.

He proves himself to be an inadequate ally as he did a threat. Inviting the very enemies that have taken on our friend's faces and then agreeing to walk back into what must be their stronghold by now is as foolish as I expected from Maybourne.

I certainly didn't expect any degree of competency after we had killed the aliens and revealed their nature.

Following along with Samantha Carter back into the stronghold turned out to be prudent rather than agreeing to stay and guide Maybourne in with his people. It was strange as she 'changed' into Daniel Jackson. 'He' was able to get into base to where we faced O'Neill, Colonel Makepeace, Major Davis, Major Castleman and Lieutenant Johnson.

Reminding Major Carter that she didn't look like Major Carter went a long way towards calming the others who outnumbered us but not out armed us.

"...must have happened with we killed you," Major Carter concluded after she and O'Neill pondered why he just woke up without explanation.

"What about us then?" Colonel Makepeace asked a very good question.

"Someone must have killed you then," I state the obvious leaving the equally obvious question of who.

"Go," O'Neill urged after Major Carter explained her plan and I was to follow when they stopped me.

"We had several near misses just getting here, Drey'auc. I'm in disguise, you stay with the others," a suggestion O'Neill made into an order.

"Head on back to the 23, keep an eye on our people," he ordered Makepeace after we sufficiently armed ourselves at the armory.

"Colonel, shouldn't you take more back up," Makepeace suggested indicating one of his people, it did not surprise me that he didn't think to volunteer Major Davis who is use more to dealing with the intricacies of the policies of this world and its military rather than field combat.

"I got Drey'auc," O'Neill said in a voice that made my heart soar with pride, missing the jest that O'Neill might have meant to Makepeace as if I were the equal to all the men the marine had with him.

"I can't allow that sir," were the final words the guards of my husband uttered as O'Neill had their attention and I had a Zat'nik'tel. O'Neill barely had time to raise his own when the guards fell to my shots.

Finding Sha're in the next cell was something of a surprise.

Sha're's story

I still do not know what is going on now. Only I went to sleep after Jan'et told me I needed a 'shot' of medicine. No one will tell me anything, and everyone acts so strange and cold. I only wonder if they have lost faith in me and do not trust me anymore. I do not think I have done anything wrong.

It is only when I see Teal'c marched past my...cell that I it is not me. Perhaps Dan'yel's people are turning against those of us not of the Tau'ri. It is what occupies my mind until I see something horrible come for Teal'c and later return with him and Jan'et clearly with them.

"Stay away!" I couldn't help shout like a frightened girl as Jack shows up at my cell door, but when I see Teal'c and Drey'auc I know all is well. I nearly fly into her arms as the door opens and realize now is not the time for sobbing.

"Where is Dan'yel?" I ask afraid of what I have seen.

"Aliens have infiltrated the SGC, we don't know who is real or an alien, but we do know Major Davis and Sam are not," O'Neill explains as we head back to the armory.

"You forget Colonel Makepeace and SG-3," Drey'auc reminds him and I see Jack smile with humor that appears ever present in his nature.

"I suppose I should count the marines as human," a comment that mystifies all three of us, even though we suspect he is making a jest.

I see he, and Teal'c are armed with weapons of the Tau'ri while Drey'auc has a single Zat'nik'tel. Jack sees this too and leads us a vault I know well and at first I wonder why we are there until he gets to a familiar box and opens it, "Put this on. We may need the firepower and I want you armed."

I wonder briefly if he forgot I know how to fire a gun. I did so on Abydos, though admittedly I missed the Horus guard I had fired at. I guess I understand why he wants me to wear the Goa'kesh'sha thinking back on that. I am likely a 'better shot' with it than I am with a pistol.

My first 'firefight' as Jack tells it goes well and I see the wisdom of his asking me to wear the Goa'kesh'sha. With a wave of my hand and the aliens went flying, leaving them vulnerable to the fire of Jack's pistol as well as Drey'auc's and Teal'c's Zat'nik'tels. I hear Jack say, "Sweet," and nearly ask him what he meant when I remember that is an expression of his when he is really pleased.

I small shy smile spreads across my lips and I start thinking the Goa'kesh'sha less as Amonet's and more as mine to help out my new family here among the Tau'ri.

"Easy Sha're," Jack cautions me after we come upon a large group of monsters.

"I can do this Jack," and his eyebrows rise with my using his first name. Shame only briefly flares as I extend my Goa'kesh'sha and send most of the monsters flying. This gives Teal'c time to cross to the other corner so he and Jack start firing, Drey'auc seems intent on getting me out of harms way before joining her husband and Jack with finishing off the monsters.

Saman'tha joins us and I feel it really is her.

Moving together we see them running to the room of the Chappa'ai. Saman'tha explains why they can't be allowed to escape and we follow. Teal'c, Drey'auc and I clear the way to the control room, while Saman'tha and O'Neill go the controls trying to stop the aliens from leaving with all the knowledge they obtain.

There is a standoff at the entrances to the control room of the Chappa'ai as that horrible man, Colonel Maybourne arrives with many men. We do not allow them entrance as we can cover the ways in between Drey'auc, Teal'c and I.

Maybourne tries to reason with Drey'auc who actually looks ready to lower her weapon. His men facing me are particularly nervous as the heart of my Goa'kesh'sha glows in warning ready to fire. I see now the allure of it and it both fascinates me and horrifies me. I have power, I don't have to be a victim under others, and yet I do not wish to be my demon.

However it is not I who ends the standoff but Jack and Saman'tha who do after a flash of light comes from the room of the Chappa'ai.

It is over and I get my Dan'yel back.


	17. Footloose

Footloose

Robby contacts SG-1 2.0 and this brings to mind the robotic selves on Harlan's world, particularly to Sha're who wonders about that other Daniel.

Sara's diary

Robby's brilliant, and I hope his idea pans out. Telling our other selves to go rescue SG-6 when we're not allowed to just made sense. I can only hope SG-6 is still alive and the other SG-1 is successful rescuing them. I do have to wonder if the other me will go along with them or stay back home like I might here.

I suspect that their Drey'auc will go along, as I think the only reason our Drey'auc does not go along with SG-1 are due to rules and regulations. Though it might also be Jaffa cultural restrictions too. While it's been over a year since Drey'auc and I have exchanged cultural notes, I still we've only scratched the surface about Jaffa society.

Thinking about that does distract me from one particularly gloomy thought that won't go away. Maybe the reason some are fine with the robotic SG-1 attempting a rescue is because they see them as expendable. It wouldn't surprise me to find Jack thinks that way. 'They're only machines' is nearly an axiom with him. On the other hand, he did seem to care about his crystal double, and he really didn't recommend for a nuke to be sent through the gate.

And also in his favor is he didn't stop me for letting Harlan duplicate me for the other Jack. I suppose with the fact both I and Drey'auc did so for our husbands should have prepared me for the inevitable request from Sha're that she do so for the other Daniel.

Time to set up a meeting with the General. Jack is going to love this.

Drey'auc's day

"It was an easy decision for me, Sha're. While I know my Teal'c would continue on if something should befall me, I know his heart would not. So this would be true with the copy of Teal'c, and once Sara also had the same thought I know it was the right thing to do, though O'Neill and General Hammond had to be convinced."

I was not surprised to find Sha're wished to talk to me about a subject that had been on my mind ever since Robby sent a request to ask the other SG-1 to see if they could rescue SG-6. It would seem to me that they would be ideal for many deniable missions that the politics of the Tau'ri prevent them from openly supporting.

And I know Teal'c and I would not wish to sit around and be idle, not when our people still need to be freed from false gods. I wonder if the copy of me would fight by the copy of Teal'c. Tau'ri policies bar me more than Jaffa custom do here. The reasons are still obscure and not even Sara seems to be able to sufficiently explain, and I realize a reason may even be to encourage Teal'c's continued loyalty to the Tau'ri.

Whatever the real reasons are, I abide by them and remain behind to wait for my husband's return from missions. I am grateful for the times General Hammond has arranged for me to go on missions, and I now suspect that not all of them were with the approval of his superiors.

I do not think this will have any approval from his superiors since it does not benefit the Tau'ri interest, it does not further their fight or defense against the Goa'uld or any threat to them. However I can see how General Hammond would explain it to them should he allow us, and I will insist on going with Sha're if she goes, to travel to P3X-989.

He may explain it as a 'deal' he had with them in exchange for their help to retrieve SG-6. I know myself, I know my husband, my friend Sara and SG-1, they would not insist on such a deal, or even suggest it, but it could be presented, implied that they did and thereby let the leaders of this nation believe what they will. Something for something, not as SG-1 always operates, but it appears to be a nature that many Tau'ri understand.

Sha're's story

Another Dan'yel. I can scarcely believe what I am told, but my Dan'yel tells me it is true. He tells me of the time he and SG-1 were duplicated and the other ones had escaped the world they were made on to come back through the Chappa'ai to this world. How they believed they were real. I must talk to Drey'auc and Sara. Dan'yel tells me they let themselves be duplicated so that the other O'Neill and Teal'c would not be lonely.

"Sha're its okay, I'm sure they're fine," and I hear in my Dan'yel's voice that he knows what I am talking about, the others.

"Dan'yel...if they are like you, then will not the other Dan'yel be lonely as you had been? Will he not be as lost without me as you were?" even through my wet eyes I smile, "You know you should not be alone Dan'yel."

"Sha're..." Daniel began and stopped, I could see he had something to say but changed his mind, "You're right. I wouldn't want to live on without you. He wouldn't want to go on without you even knowing you are safe."

"He knows?" I wonder who could have told him, a question that my husband answers even as I ask.

"Robby told them. He told General Hammond that he updated them with everything that has gone on since they last...were us. That Daniel knows you are now saved and safe."

"Then you must let me go to them, to him, Dan'yel. You told me they might live thousands of years. Would you want to be so alone for so long?" he sees the light catch the wetness of my unshed tears and I feel his arms around me as he takes me into them.

"Sara is going to talk to the General about it. I think he'll agree...if anything, it makes it look as if a deal is being made. A copy of you for SG-6, or at least the attempt," I hear something in his voice that makes me question, to pull away only so far as to look up in his troubled blue eyes.

"Dan'yel? What is it? There is more to this, isn't there?"

"It's not so much more to it. I'm more afraid for them, Sha're. This sets up a dangerous precedent that I'm sure our leaders will notice and likely make use of..." he lets is voice drift off as we draw near again, this time instead of him comforting me, I feel he wishes to draw strength from our embrace. Strength I gladly wish to give him as well as an ear to listen to his troubles as he has mine.

"Husband, go on."

"Jack has already mentioned it, but there is a possibility they could be asked to do deniable missions. What are called 'black operations' among our people. Things that have to be done but cannot be connected to a government. Even more so because they're robots they'll be considered expendable."

Now he looks down at me, to gaze into my eyes and hold me in them as his arms my body, there is a question in those eyes I know he will not ask of me, nor must I press him about. I can almost read it there in his gaze. Would I condemn my copy to be alone if her Dan'yel did not come back from such a mission?

I would not, but I would take that risk to make sure that Dan'yel is not alone.

"Dan'yel should still not be alone."

"He won't be. I wouldn't want to deny my other self this great pleasure. The joy you put into my heart each and ever day I wake up with you by my side."

"Let us go, Dan'yel and make all of you happy."

"Com'traya!" I hear the voice speak and slowly rise off the bed Harlan had me lay upon. I look to my right and Dan'yel is there taking my hand into his, Harlan is there at the foot of my bed, Sara's to either side of him, Drey'auc, my Drey'auc looking over their heads. One the one of my Jaffa friend, the other Drey'auc had gone with SG-1 to rescue SG-6.

Looking to my left is like looking into a mirror. It is...me.

We reach out towards each other, touching the other's cheek. We swing our legs over the sides of our beds, stand and then embrace one another.

"Take care of him," my mirror image asks of me, then I of her. We each have a Dan'yel we promise to look after.


	18. Pretenses

Pretenses

Sara's diary

Today's alert with all teams back on terra firma was due to a cat. Yes a cat as in of the feline persuasion. I wasn't actually at the gateroom when Schrödinger walked in to nonchalantly, as Jack puts it, face a bunch of soldiers with guns, but I heard about it afterwards. I of course was following non-standard-standard procedure established by my husband-to-be-again of arming Drey'auc.

We're still debating whether this includes Sha're. Not due to any trust issues, we just don't want her to have too many painful reminders. Though she is settling in as a medic with Janet. It makes sense really, we have the technology and all that jazz, seems wasteful to not be able to use it. Sam doesn't have the time.

Like she might for some other things.

Jack relayed the meeting between her and a Tollan called Narim in the gateroom. I think now that my Jack is coming back to me, Daniel is settled with Sha're and of course Teal'c is rock steady with Drey'auc that the match-making bug is nibbling at him to find his teammate a perfect match. Not that he's any Yentle by any means.

Still from how he talked about the sparks flying 'quietly' between the two when they met again, I think he's going to encourage some off world romance for our girl genius.

Drey'auc's day

"I will go with you," my husband does not think this is a question, and I see him incline his head to wisely indicate he does not disagree. Which is not the same as my having permission as he I can see before he even puts words to his lips.

"General Hammond and O'Neill must agree," was his defense and not putting them in harms way for his own sake. I have seen Tau'ri do this and more than one Jaffa shift the focus to others when he or she should be involved, but not my husband.

"Sha're is going," again the statement is just that a statement, not a question.

"Skaara is her brother, Daniel Jackson knows he has little choice but to let her go along with him. It is the one of the reasons she stated they should remain with the Tau'ri instead of returning to Abydos after her Goa'uld was removed from her." I listen to his words and find little difference between Sha're insistence of going and mine.

Save he is right, and I have no relation, nor oath to protect as I did with Sha're.

"So you're going," I hear the sigh in Sara's voice as she also does not make this a question she asks. They were words unnecessary as she was there in General Hammond's office along with me, Teal'c and O'Neill when I asked to go. I suspect she just needed to say something as I outfit myself to go with SG-1.

"I will continue to look after Sha're," was not the same reason I gave General Hammond, but I believe he understood it to be the specific reason as oppose to the general one of 'adding another warrior to look after others while the Triad goes on'. He is not a leader who merely takes a statement at face value. I could no more fool him than Master Bra'tac.

Seven of us step through the Chappa'ai to bring Skaara back to his family.

The wonders of the Tollan are many, letting Skaara and Klorel speak as equals just one of them, but as I find I agree with my husband and the Tollan are naive to the ways of the Goa'uld and will be there down fall. It is why I will go along with my husband's plan.

He has been ordered not to pursue the matter any longer by O'Neill, I on the other hand, have not. Teal'c plan is brilliant and once I have spoken to Lya, she agrees with the plan.

Sha're's story

"Skaara is alive!" my Dan'yel had practically shot out of the meeting with the Tollan that Sara told me about. His arms around me, he speaks the sweet news again while we spin in place. Amonet had lost contact with Klorel during the final days of Apophis' fall to Sokar. She did not know if he lived or died, though in her spiteful moments she spat he must be dead. 'He' means my brother instead of her 'son'.

I listen nearly patiently to my Dan'yel tell what Narim told him and the words are out of my mouth even before he finishes, "When do we leave to go to him my husband?"

We almost had a fight about that.

He wanted me safe, I wanted my brother, "...and what better witness to speak on his behalf than his sister?" I had seen enough lawyer shows on Dan'yel's TV to get the idea behind what a Triad or Trial might be like.

His head dropped in that manner I found both adorable and realizing he was giving in. So without pressing my point, my hand goes to his cheek to raise it before my lips could follow to meet his, "Thank you my husband."

I actually found I feel better with Drey'auc going along. While I go through the gate holding my Dan'yel's hand, I know she is also there for me without her having spoken a word. Seeing Sara hug her and then me before departure let me know she was not here for protection of anyone else but mine. I do not mind that, I do feel better with her around.

I also notice that there is something between Saman'tha and Narim. They do hold hands like Dan'yel and I do, nor express themselves as any Abydonian would, but their nearness to one another, how they try to stay by each other speaks of something that could be more than their aloofness suggests.

Dan'yel blocks my initial urge to flee when Klorel confronts us, I find myself like a child turning into my Dan'yel for protection until I hear my brother's voice instead of Klorel. Then I find myself shaking off my husband's hands and taking a few tentative steps towards my brother.

After Narim explains the device that lets my brother speaks nothing else keeps me from flying into my brother's arms.

It hurts that I am not allowed in this Triad, though I agree with my brother's choice, Dan'yel and O'Neill will free him. So I am left to wander and wait, with Drey'auc by me. It is while waiting we see Saman'tha and Narim meet together later that day.

We are too far to hear what they are saying, but I can see between them there is more than either are allowing. With Triad in recess for the day and my brother not allowed visitors I think I should talk with Saman'tha and find out if she feels anything I have seen.

"No, yes, maybe. It's just like I was telling Narim. I can't be involved with anyone until I sort out Jolinar's feelings from my own," Saman'tha tells me after I ask, and understand her feelings are likely stronger after her time on Hell.

"Saman'tha...you cannot let Jolinar's memories rule your life. You cannot keep waiting until some other day when everything will be in order. You have no guarantees of tomorrow, you do not know if today will be the only day to find and follow love," I know I must speak softly for she is ready to run, to walk away from me.

I must stop her, "If I let Amonet rule me after her passing, there would be no Dan'yel. I could not let myself see past Klorel to Skaara. If you were to advise me, Saman'tha, would it be to wait until I 'sort it out' before I am with Dan'yel again?"

Leaving her with my words I think would be better than pressing on to say what has already been said. I only hope she decides to live and not let Jolinar live for her.

"Skaara!" my heart soars to hear he will be free, not even the emergency around us dims that delight within my heart. Dan'yel stays with us as O'Neill leads the others away, and I answer the question my husband has not voiced, "They go to Drey'auc my husband, my brother. They go to save the Tollan and ourselves."

Drey'auc told me of her husband's plan, therefore I am not surprised when it works and Lya has brought forth the weapon she hid for Teal'c to make ready to fire and end the threat.

Holding my brother without the Detachment device he had to wear was a new kind of joy. What began two years ago as a living nightmare has ended. My brother and I are free of the demons, I am back with my husband and life could not be sweeter.


	19. Celebrations

Celebrations

Sara's diary

Finally! Someone is taking an interest in Sam who can actually keep up with our resident girl-genius. When Jack came back from Tollana with news that she actually went out on a date it made me nearly as happy as hearing Skaara was free. I know how much Skaara meant to Jack, probably more so than most. Like Daniel, he was likely responsible for bring my Jack back from the emotional abyss he'd been in since Charlie died.

So it took a lot to top knowing that Skaara was free, and hearing Sam out on a date was one of the unexpected news that would compete with Sha're's brother getting free of the Goa'uld. Of course this would have meant another barbeque thrown by Jack, but as we are not in the warmer climates in the balmy month of January, he's going to have to wait on that and just settle with Kasuf putting on a welcome home festival on Abydos. With it being his son he has to celebrate about, and from what Daniel and Claire have told me concerning their culture, it's going to be bigger than what they did for Sha're.

Which I should look in on her to make sure she's okay about this. Yes, it's that American woman looking in on a culture that doesn't seem to hold women in high esteem as their men and I will try, -try- and respect it if that is the case, but it doesn't mean I have to just sit and accept it.

That is when I'm not reminding Jack it really is too cold to hold a barbeque, not in the way he wants to do one.

Of course I have the added distraction of trying to find all the things Teal'c needs for a private Jaffa ceremony that I -know- Claire and Daniel are going to question me about as soon as they get word. And I know they will get word after the special request forms go to Walter. That man is a born gossip if I've ever seen one. Oh he's quiet and all, but I know he's a hub in the base gossip grid, and few of the requested items are anything close to government standard issue.

They do have me curious and my imagination is running wild with trying to picture all that Teal'c wanted to get to honor his wife.

Drey'auc's Day

Teal'c shows his appreciation for what I did back on Tollana in way both Jaffa and Tau'ri. The private Ceremony of Honor is well done with what he could gather from Sara. It is not often, certainly not in my mother's time, that a woman was so honored. Thrice in my own life, both since coming to live among the Tau'ri. The flame of the brazier burns bright and the flickers of the candles around us dance light across our faces and in our eyes.

As I stand he draws out a circle around me, the symbols of the Chappa'ai of the Tollan as he recites the ancient tongue of being uplifted among those Jaffa who has passed on before to show that their decedents are worthy to join their spirits when death comes to us all. It is so they will remember and thereby remind us who live afterwards. First the recitation of welcome, then of who we are listing our lineage of fathers and mothers who have come before and likely watch and listen now. Then comes the telling of the deed worthy of honor of which Teal'c tells it well as he kneels before me and as others would kneel if other Jaffa were here.

Teal'c is enough Jaffa for me.

Then in the manner of the Tau'ri he praises me with pretty speech, what they call a poem, which either he has composed, or what I suspect, he has gleaned with the help of Daniel or Claire Jackson. It matters not, it speaks of how far he has gone to show me how much he is both proud of me and grateful that I am in his life and in his heart.

When we later divest ourselves of any attire or ornamentation we celebrate in a way that is neither Tau'ri, nor of Chulak, human or Jaffa specific, the one way men and women have celebrated unions since the beginning.

Sha're's Story

Skaara is free! My brother and I rarely part since that moment where the demon is finally removed from him. My Dan'yel is fine with this, he knows that I am very happy to have my brother back again after two years of captivity, two years of seeing him, and yet not him as the demon acted nothing like my brother only carrying his face.

Father will be making ready a huge celebration back home and tribes from all around will be invited. I wonder if he will call back those who had come before for me. He might, though unlike with me, they had no part of my brother's rescue from the Goa'uld. My father will still want as many people as he can get a hold of to know his son is back with him.

Dan'yel is patient as it seems all I talk about is my brother in the first days since his return. Jan'et speaks well of his health and father could not have come through the Chappa'ai fast enough. He thanked Dan'yel, he thanked O'Neill, he thanked General Hammond for bring his family back to him.

I am so happy I find myself quite confused when Sara comes to make sure I am all right. How could I not be fine with my brother returned, and my life with Dan'yel resumed? At first I think Sara fears our leaving the SGC, taking away Dan'yel from his important work here to return the sands of my home, our home. Yet I find this is not the case, she is concerned about me.

Hugging he was better than the laughter that played about my lips. She could not see that it does not matter if the celebration for Skaara was larger than my own. I do understand that is not the way of the Tau'ri, which man and woman, husband and wife, are equal in their eyes. It is like when my Dan'yel insists on cooking or helping me to clean. Not realizing at first that it is not so much lesser or greater task each one takes, but different tasks.

Good mother understands, though I do not know if she shares Dan'yel's thoughts about such ways, I do know she comprehends them without judgment that I see in other Tau'ri eyes. There are task for the women, there are tasks for the men, to confuse them as the Tau'ri seem to do is to lose our way, to become as the grains of sands blown about on the wind without form and purpose.

No, I do not begrudge the larger celebration for my brother. I share my father's joy that he is no longer a prisoner of his demon, his hands are now his own to control, his will his own to enact, his heart his own to act upon. The joy I feel for this could never be expressed with a large enough celebration so it will have to be satisfied with the one father is arranging.

My brother is free, I am free, and now all we have to do is find my son. With two such victories, how could there not be the third of finding my son?


	20. Urgo, Ugo, Wego

Urgo, Ugo, Wego

Author's note: Finally got around to re-writing chapter 8 (thanks for being patient Sarai!), I hope those who also wanted to see a revised version will enjoy it the second time around. And now on with the show!

Sara's diary

Some days Jack...today I thought he was pushing his limit with Hammond, but our Major General took it in stride and I think even snickered, okay lightly laughed, that sounds better and more dignified. George Hammond deserves dignified.

All in all not Jack's typical send off as he's on his way through the gate on a new mission, but close enough.

No one expected it to be the last we saw of them for over half a day.

More of the unexpected was their insistence that they just left through the Stargate. Janet checked and everyone seems fine.

The first sign of SGC oddity afterwards, I mean to say beyond their insistence that no time has passed, had been when Sha're just suddenly got up and walked over and into the briefing SG-1 were going through. Puzzled, Drey'auc and I followed as she hadn't done anything like that before. We watched from the doorway as she walked up to Daniel and without a word took his cup of coffee into her hands and drank it.

Sha're -never- drinks coffee and here she was having second and third sips. Which is all I noticed until I looked past her and saw Teal'c chugging down the contents of a coffee pot. This was not lost on Drey'auc either, nor General Hammond. Besides the rank that went behind the order, I think the rest of us agreed with General Hammond, SG-1 is not going off base for now.

It was easy to see something had happened to them off-world, they were together, they don't remember whatever happened during the fifteen hours they were missing. The presumption is whatever it was had to be when they were gone.

Which doesn't explain Sha're in the lest.

Nor was it over, she did it again. I mean 'it' as in just got up and walked off again. We had been talking about weddings on Earth, excuse me, among the Tau'ri, Drey'auc adding tales of when she was a...sim'ka, betrothed to Teal'c and their marriage ceremony. This prompted a question about honeymoons, or as the Jaffa call them, shim'roa or close enough. I think Drey'auc was explaining what was close enough when Sha're stood up and walked out.

We followed and ended up coming in on SG-1 in the commissary, with their escorts and seated at a table full of deserts.

I know my Jack likes pie, but I've never seen him binge on desserts like this before. To say the least Sha're was not on my mind at that time. I was vaguely aware of her sitting down beside Daniel and joining in on the feasting. Only a brief look at Drey'auc confirmed this wasn't an alien thing as she was standing by me.

Of course SGC weirdness soon born out to be the explanation...sort of. It would have, the alien devices in their heads, except Sha're doesn't have a device in her. She's just affected the same way as SG-1 for some reason.

So it was off to quarantine for her as well.

Drey'auc's day

I kept wondering if I should learn to make whatever it is that Teal'c kept eating. There were quite a variety of foods that differed from what he normally has. With him in quarantine I have the time to think on these things and ask Sara about. Which she appears distracted and unwilling to speak of such things she lists as domestic for right now.

My husband is not the only one who does things he might not normally. We follow Samantha Carter out on the mountain one night and the five of them just stare at the stars for a while. Then Samantha Carter takes out that Tollan device and activates it. We watch something shoot up into the sky.

Later Narim comes to visit asking why we sent for him and stranger yet, Martouf of the Tok'ra came looking concerned. He explains that he started to have odd desires to eat pie and lately to sing a song that he nor his symbiote never knew the words to before.

Just like Sha're.

I did not think anything amiss when Teal'c found me later and took my hand in the manner of the Tau'ri, leading me to the conference room without a word. Without words was not so unusual among our people as the manner to which he chose to lead me. It would have felt wonderful had something not sat right with me on how he was acting.

Catching up to Sara and O'Neill also walking into the conference room, with Sara looking as puzzled as I felt, I did not suspect what was about to happen and barely noticed O'Neill did so with Sara what Teal'c clearly wished to do with me. Looking past him briefly I saw Sha're and Daniel also facing each other and in a corner beyond, Samantha Carter was with Narim and Martouf.

With the exception of myself and Sara, all of them seem to wish to discard their clothing and I suspect in prelude to a manner of joining common to Jaffa, and Tau'ri men and women.

I think this Urgo wants us to show him love.

Sha're's story

I don't know why I feel this way. First I just wanted coffee, and I do not like coffee. Next I wanted to have all the desserts my Dan'yel had and at that time, when I was not thinking of how great it taste, I thought I might be pregnant. Mother says you get all sorts of cravings and while my Dan'yel and I have not tried to have children yet, not until I get my son back, we have not been that calm with our love with one another.

Jan'et solves the mystery of my Dan'yel and the others but cannot with me. She puts me through test and does not find what she did with the others. This is beginning to scare me.

Urgo does so even more when he makes me see and hear him then talk when I do not mean to.

"Now how is this happening? You shouldn't be able to see me or hear me, not like them?" Urgo tells me that which does not calm me in the least.

"I will kill him! Where is my Goa'kesh'sha?" I am not Drey'auc but suddenly I want to loom over Urgo as he sings that incessant 'me' song of his. Then I realize everyone is looking at me. General Hammond, Jan'et, Sara, Drey'auc, the guard...at least Dan'yel understands, he comes and gets me.

Soon I am sitting beside him not quite ashamed at my outburst. "Maybe death is better," I say knowing it sounds peevish, but I tire of this Urgo especially since I'm not suppose to see him at all!

Yet Saman'tha has a plan a way to turn Urgo off in our minds.

"Oh Saman'tha!" I find myself flinging my arms around her once she throws that switch and Urgo vanishes! I hug and hug and hug, so full of joy. Never have I been so glad to see someone go, other than my demon and for completely different reasons.

I did not hate Urgo, I just found him...him...impossible!

Sara is explaining why brides wear white when I find myself singing words to a song I never knew before. We did not have rivers on Abydos and so rowing a boat was unfamiliar to me, though I could understand how life could be a dream. My life has been one with Dan'yel and a nightmare with Amonet. It takes me a moment to realize where these words are coming from.

Urgo!

I now know why Dan'yel sighs like he does sometimes. Urgo is back and he even makes us defend him with words, when we know so better.

Oh so much better...I find myself looking at Dan'yel and Dan'yel looking at me. Everyone starts yelling and moving towards us as we start to take off our clothing right there in the briefing room. He is so handsome my Dan'yel, and I know he thinks me so beautiful. I want to touch him, to hold him, to be...

Urgo!

"I just wanted to see what it's like. You think about it sometimes, some of you a lot!" I feel my face flame with flush and at first I just want to burrow my head in Dan'yel's shoulder as I hear Urgo's words. He was going to make us...right in front of everyone! Batting my head against Dan'yel's chest does not change that, but it makes me strangely feel better somehow.

To find out that Jack went for Sara and Teal'c for Drey'auc only makes me feel just a little better. Then I'm ashamed that I felt better. Where is Saman'tha?

Narim says his people -might- be able to remove Urgo, Martouf is not sure if Ma'chello could, or Linea come up with something to block Urgo both want to help us, yet Saman'tha is the one who counsels we should go back to Urgo's creators. They would know instead of guessing like we have done.

"It's a machine," I hear Jack say with such finality that it wipes away my annoyance for Urgo. They argue about parasites like my demon, they argue about symbiotes like my friend Linea's Garu, but when Jack says that I stop and just stare.

"What about us? The other us, O'Neill?" for now he is not so much Jack at the moment, "They are…machines. But they feel, they live, they love. They are alive."

But Jack, yes dear Jack again, does not hear us. He just wants Urgo out and will not consider any other argument than what results with Urgo being taken out of us. Which means he may think of Urgo as alive, he just does not wish to think about it. He wants his life back.

That is a thought I know I understand.

Dan'yel fusses over me after I dress in the BDUs given, worse than Sara and Drey'auc did in the locker room. I find I do not mind so much. Hand in hand we follow the others up the ramp and to the world of Urgo's.

Then back out to the SGC..."Dan'yel?"

_Ina'kalesh_

"Oh," I say for the first time and just like Dan'yel of whom I say it at the same time he does.


	21. A Hundred Dawns

A Hundred Dawns

He's gone, presumed not dead, but on the other side of a gate where he can't get home. Jack is trapped on another world, which is better than Jack having died out there. It started out so nice, we found naquadah out there, the people seemed friendly enough. Jack told me their default leader, Laira, was comfortable, friendly and willing to talk. Much better than the typical belligerent leaders the SG teams appear to always encounter as if they were the standard.

But then there were the asteroids, the Armageddon's nightmare times a thousand. Lots of them raining down on the planet. What they thought of as a yearly spectacular event was going to kill them as their time was up. Every 150 years Daniel mentioned, death rains down from the heavens. A bit melodramatic to write, but I'm in that kind of mood.

What amazes me is how Maureen is handling this, I can tell she's just as worried about Guy as I am about Jack, but she doesn't look like she's about to melt down into a puddle like I feel like doing. I'm sure it helps to have her family help support her. I have to wonder what it's like for the Robinsons, all of them not only in the know of the Stargate program but working for it.

Not that I'm alone, Claire is there for me, and when I get home, Judi drops by. She doesn't know a thing about the Stargate, nor SGC weirdness, but she does know Jack's gone missing regarding something I can't talk about and she understands.

Then there is my job with Drey'auc, who ends up supporting me far more than I do her. After all Teal'c is on the other side of that buried gate too. From what Sam told us, he and Guy went off to get Jack once the asteroids starting raining down. They were a good ways off from the gate when Sam, Major West and Captain Walker had to dive through to escape the one falling star that sealed the fate of those three men on the other side.

Jack's good at surviving, he'll find away, Guy is smarter than most people, about as smart as Sam from what I could understand and Teal'c would get them through by sheer stubbornness not to quit. He won't ever give up and he won't let Jack or Guy give up either. They'll live through whatever's going on over on the other side of the gate.

I didn't even realize where I was on that first dawn when I came up outside on the mountain. This was the spot Jack proposed to me. I can still see him in a tux at the table he set up, Daniel dressed as a waiter and putting on one of his many accents as he served us a dinner I know neither of them had cooked.

I explain as much to Sha're as she joined me the second day I find myself out here. She didn't say much, I think partially she liked the story, but mainly she enjoyed the sunrise. It's a different kind that she had seen on Abydos, and on any of the worlds Amonet ruled over. We don't say much beyond that, again we don't want to shatter the moment. It just feels like we should be quiet up here on the mountain with the sun beginning to rise in the distance.

Predictably Drey'auc is with us the next morning. It's nothing anyone had said, I didn't ask her, and I don't think Sha're did either. She knew only because I was late yesterday meeting with her and she wanted to know where I had been. It was helping too, my dealing with Jack so far away, and Sam mentioning its going to take time to get to him, either by ship or this particle accelerator project of her's.

We didn't cling to one another, but we did cluster close to each other as we watched the sun paint the surrounding vista in light reds that turned to gold as it rose up into the blue sky.

Maureen brought tea with her the next day. Well, a thermos and cups that she passed out. Sha're was surprised with the tea, liking it, but had expected coffee. I suppose that's natural, she's only seen coffee come from a thermos and so its natural to think that is what it is used for. I suppose like a wineskin back where she came from. You don't expect water from one.

I did feel a little guilty not asking Maureen up earlier, but then again I hadn't intended to make this a regular event. Still it helped ground me, give me focus and by sharing it with others there was a kind of strength and support here that I couldn't have imagined.

Raine soon joins us and it wasn't long before Janet joined us as well.

I think I was the most surprised when Sam joined us up on the mountain. Initially I wanted to snarl, 'Shouldn't you be doing something', but one look into those red rimmed eyes and I knew she only got any sleep because someone ordered her to and the guys from SG-8 were taking a shift working on the accelerator to give her 'free time' to do such things as eat or sleep.

We have the other Sam, roboSam as I'll only refer to her in the pages of this diary, to thank as well. She's working around the clock, literally, on the problem. Giving our Sam a chance to rest as she wasn't a robot who was like the energizer bunny, and doesn't that put a strange image in my head of Sam in a bunny outfit.

I had to smile as I knew what kind of bunny outfit Jack would be imagining...right before I clobbered him for picturing her in it!

If General Hammond felt any bit uncomfortable when he joined the (up until now) all ladies group watching the sunrise, he didn't show it. I know I really appreciated him showing up to show his support, all of them who kept joining us up on that mountain top each dawn while Jack, Guy and Teal'c were trapped on Edora.

Everyone was so faithful, each day well into a second month, they were up there on the mountain at our spot, as I like to think of it. Showing their silent support and I needed it so much by this point. Family and friends were all giving their condolences as the date for our wedding came and went and I kept refusing to say it wasn't going to happen.

Dad recalled the time Jack was presumed dead and 'only' ended up having been in an Iraqi prison. He only asked me twice though if I was sure I wanted to put myself through this again, with Jack off on classified missions. Of course I couldn't tell him anything about the missions, what was really happening, about all I could do was tell him that this time it's different. This time I know what is going on, I just couldn't tell my father and I think that stung him a little.

But only a little. Michael Joseph Kozak is an understanding man. My dad always had been. He couldn't join us up on the mountain these many dawns in the flesh, but I could feel him in spirit.

Drey'auc's kel no reem

Claire Jackson tells me this is not a typical Tau'ri ritual, going up to sit on the mountain and watch the sun rise. Sometimes ritual starts with a first time and joining Sara and Sha're I feel I understand why they are there. This is a spot that our men have been at, a special one, where we can feel we are with them even though they are far away.

I am surprised how this helps me enter kel no'reem, and that by entering it I feel a connection to Teal'c who must be entering kel no'reem as I am. It is like the sunrise watching, it is a connection. Not Ina'kalesh, it is not known if there has ever been a Jaffa couple to every have been called thus. It is unlikely that even if there had been we would hear of it for the Goa'uld would have killed them as an example and not out of the edict the false gods made. For they could not possess a Jaffa and have no fear of resistance.

I still wonder if it is possible for Jaffa, for my husband and I. Our love is strong, yet does it bind our souls one to another? I would like to think it does, though after Urgo I my hope that we are is diminished. I did not see him, nor was affected by him as Sha're and Martouf were. I have to wonder if Sara is troubled by the implications as I am or is she content to just love her man as I do mine?

Questions to put aside and not let me savor the special feeling of sharing kel no'reem with my husband though we are light years apart.

Sha're's story

So many are here to support Sara, Drey'auc and Mau'reen. Even General Hammond had come to sit with us as we watch the sunrise at the spot my Dan'yel had been. At the place Jack had asked Sara to be his wife again. I still do not fully grasp at why they repeat becoming husband and wife. Even a bad marriage on Abydos ends in separation either by death or distance. The actual marriage is never considered gone for one to remarry another. Of course on Abydos a man may have more than one wife. A fact I had never told my Dan'yel and will keep that in my heart.

My father only chose one wife, a choice I believe my mother cherished, yet after she died I could see that he regrets not having another to help him raise us.

Would I be content to be first wife of Dan'yel, to share him with others? I do not think I could. Possibly if we never left Abydos and I not find out about the universe beyond the Chappa'ai. I would have thought it is the way of things and realize 'my place' as others from my land would insist. Dan'yel says otherwise, and I am free to speak my mind to share his fire to be with him in his heart as he is in mine.

Unlike Sara, Drey'auc or Mau'reen my husband is still someone I can touch, hold and assure myself that he is not gone far away on some distant world. Where I do not know if he will return, a fear I know my friends now face and I will not bring up least that hidden fear is bared and must be faced.

Dan'yel has not joined us up here, not until after General Hammond does, but I still feel I sit with my Dan'yel in spirit and I hope Sara, Mau'reen and Drey'auc also sit with their husbands in spirit as we gather here each day. It is my turn to be strong for them as they had been strong for me.

While I do not drink coffee I make sure Saman'tha and Mau'reen have it as they work. I fix tea for Drey'auc and Sara though my initial efforts only brought smiles as the taste is far from when I have had when Sara has brewed it.

Preparing meals for them becomes less of a challenge as I continue to learn my way around Tau'ri kitchen. The cooks at the base here are helpful as I try my hand in their place, and I think it is because I am Mrs. Jackson that they tolerate my presence among them. I over hear later that it is not their way to let other cooks in their kitchen and so I am especially grateful that they have allowed me.

So many helping, what a joyous miracle it is that this par-ty-kal ak-sel-er-ate-her is finished and we shall do as Sokar has done. Get word to our men and then rescue them.

I knew it was good to help our other selves made of metal and not flesh and here it comes back to help us. I am told that Saman'tha does not require sleep and so she works through the night while others must rest. Her help makes contacting our men possible as well as letting us open the Chappa'ai.

Drey'auc again makes sure I am properly dressed in BDUs as she also goes around to Mau'reen and Sara as we intend to go to their husbands instead of waiting for them to come to us. General Hammond lets us because the refugees from Edora are going through and what are a few more non-combatants to anyone who cares to press the issue with him.

Of course Robby is going through and after the display of power he shows firing his weapons through the engaged Chappa'ai there is no fear of what Colonel Makepeace calls 'fire-power'.

While I still do not like it, I offer to the General to take the Goa'kesh'sha for added protection and Drey'auc offers to take her Kara'bashaak'tak and Zat'nik'tel, but he assures us that with SG-11 going on ahead, the rest of SGs 1 and 8 also going along with part of SG-2, Will and Robby, we should not feel the need to arm ourselves.

"You actually offered to use the ribbon device?" my Dan'yel asks with concern later, "I thought it only reminded you of pain, of Amonet." Of hurting him I add mentally and believe I see in his eyes, yet there is also care there. He is concerned for me that it is only a reminder of how Amonet, how I, hurt others by my hand.

"It also helped against the Stragoth," we only learned the name of the aliens who invaded and impersonated others from the moonbase, "I saw where it can help like no-one else can, Dan'yel. It is like how I help Jan'et in the infirmary with the Ka'kesh'prim'ta, the healing device. Dan'yel you help with languages, this is my way to help, Dan'yel. In a way others will not. Saman'tha does not have the time to learn to use these devices and they can help us in the fight with the Goa'uld."

I stop when I realize I was not so much trying to convince my husband as myself. My demon still haunts me, at night she reminds me of the horrors we have done of the pain we have inflicted, and yet it is as I told Linea and Saman'tha, I cannot let my demon of the past rule my present. I can be helpful now and not just sit and wait for my husband to return. Already Jan'et has shown that to me and with the Stragoth, Jack has shown me another way to be helpful.

"Sha're?" Dan'yel had held me from behind, his arms a warm embrace, now he has turned me around to face him, to lean and look into my eyes with all the care I have come to known him since our first night together.

"I am fine my husband, I think I now have much to consider. That I was trying to convince myself and not you my Dan'yel." He gathers me in his arms again and all is right with our world for this moment in time.

I did giggle in the locker room as Drey'auc firmly strapped a holster with a Zat'nik'tel in it. She was not going unarmed anywhere. I reconsidered asking if I may take the Goa'kesh'sha, but dismiss the thought. It is too soon, and Drey'auc really is enough to protect us.

Saman'tha and Dan'yel lead the way with Will and Robby precede us as hand in hand, Sara, Mau'reen and I follow with Drey'auc behind us, ever the guardian Jaffa. Dan'yel and I watch as Sara and Jack, Teal'c and Drey'auc and Mau'reen and Jon'athan all meet and embrace. In the crook and circle of my Dan'yel's arm I am at peace that the hundred dawns are over.


	22. Two Wedding Days

Two Wedding Days

Sara's diary

It's finally here! I feel a mixture of things, excitement of course, curious if I was this excited the first time around. I think if it wasn't for the fact of how my life had gone since then, I may not be as excited as I was then. However when you have the guest coming that I have, that Jack and I have, it's hard not to feel a bit giddy, yes giddy about one's wedding day.

Not that the 'normal' service at the church Jack and I picked out, okay, I picked out and Jack agreed to, wasn't going to be great. Dad would be there, our families, not much on Jack's side, his brother Mac, Cousin April, and a few others. I think the clan of Carters will more than make up for any lack of family, and after what some of them had been through with me, I couldn't not think of inviting them.

Vincent and Andrew now had clearances to know what I do for a living, well what their niece Sam does, but after that shoot out on Andrew's farm, I just had to invite them. Marshall Jack Carter and I ended up talking to each other more often than not as his daughter Zoe seems to have a perchance to run away up to visit her cousin Sam.

Since more often than not Sam is away on missions Zoe ends up with me or Janet until her father arrives to bring her home. Something is definitely wrong in Carter Country to have that keep happening. Though Cassie hasn't objected to Zoë's coming up to visit, nor has Ally. Fortunately all three will be at the 'normal' wedding with Cassie promising to say nothing about the ceremony at the Stargate later today.

Judi and Ron are just beside themselves seeing my Jack and I back together again. Even Sammy, pardon me Samuel, as he now starts to insist being called. The young Witwicky is growing out of being called Sammy, and calling him Sam won't work for me, not when I'm around Samantha Carter enough to get him confused about who I mean.

With the second wedding later tonight, it's a wonder how many of our friends show up for the first one.

It might have been easy to treat one of the two as just a rehearsal, or going through the motions, but I felt no less a thrill when Dad walked me down the isle than when Vincent did later. When I looked into Jack's eyes, I my mind went blank both times as I was lost in them. Fortunately a few prompts and off we were with the vows.

My heart melted as Jack recited his vows, how much I mean to him, how far he is willing to go for me. It was just as sweet the second time around. Maybe the kiss was better with the second time as Jack seem to go all out with that one. I think it was the fact he knew that was it, but it also could have been he felt less inhibited with the base and alien friends on hand. Oh let's just say he was showing off, and since it was me he was showing off it really did make that second kiss one I couldn't tell you how long it went and what happened immediately after.

Drey'auc's day

Through the last several months Sara had explained the rituals that went on with a Tau'ri wedding and I was proud to serve has her matron of honor. When Claire explained more about the roles Teal'c and I were to play, we both shared a look and a smile. While Sara started to object about how we were to arm ourselves, O'Neill interceded and said it was the 'Jaffa thing to do'. From the look in his eyes, my husband and I suspect he had other motives, ones to do with humor.

However unlikely that Sara's family would attempt to forcibly obtain her return to them, not without the entire Stronghold going on the defensive, the ceremonial aspect of guarding bride and groom we took with honor. Though I never received a satisfactory answer as to why my position is not called 'Best Woman' as Teal'c's is called 'Best Man'. Like my husband is concerning the men of the stronghold, I am fairly confident that there is not a woman in the stronghold who could best me.

With Kara'bashaak'tak in hand, and Zat'nik'tel upon our forearms, we escorted Sara and O'Neill through their marriage ceremony.

Sha're's story

This is so different than the ways of Abydos, but I learn more and more the Tau'ri are a very strong people. Of course my people are a simple one, our ways not so complex as the ones of the First World. We would have a feast, make sure the husband-to-be, the groom as the Tau'ri would call him, is washed and ready, then let him met his wife-to-be. Once our bodies have joined we are one in marriage as we had been in the flesh.

Perhaps this complex ceremony is their way of doing things publicly, as I have noticed among Dan'yel's people they do not like to show their feelings for all to see, while my people express them openly. When I first was free from my demon it was like that, then Dan'yel told me the ways of my people were not the ways of his. Though he did not say anything until after several of the Tau'ri gave us odd looks when I kissed him 'in public' as Dan'yel put it.

It would make some sense that they do restrain themselves, for even in the ceremony Jack had to be told when it was time to kiss Sara.

I found that Major Nelson's wife, Jeannie seems to share a lot of my impressions on such weddings. In fact, there is a lot we seem to have in common. It is as if she grew up on Abydos, or someplace like it, but from what Dan'yel tells me the hue of her skin is not one in that part of his world that is like mine.

Still we talked some and it only took a momentary slip of some a word in Abydonian and Jeannie picked right up with it. We were soon talking as if I was back home. I suppose I should mention this to Dan'yel, but he is too busy being Jack's best man for this wedding. Maybe when it's time for the second wedding I will bring it up.

Claire's Chronicles

With Sara not able to be alien hostess extraordinaire, and Daniel busy being best man for the first ceremony, that left me to meet and greet the aliens who wanted to show up for O'Neill ceremony of mating as I think Thor put it. Fortunately for me it was not a large delegation, just many small ones. From Bra'tac and Kosh with who I am more than familiar with to Ntrgu who I only knew from SGC reports. Apparently Jack and the gang helped the Mondoshawan at some point, Daniel was particularly excited about them. He was too busy being best man to actually stop to talk to Ntrgu, or 'Nate' as Jack calls him.

I have to admit, after I did read about the encounter and that the Mondoshawan had been in Egypt in the past, I certainly wanted to spend time talking with Ntrgu. However there was a wedding on.

Even Robby wanted to be somewhere in the gateroom when the ceremony took place and I finally got to meet K-9's builder who arrived in the oddest 'spaceship' every, big blue wooden looking box, with Police written over it. I do remember seeing them in England a while back, but none were spacecraft, or time machines as I found out latter.

Now -that- I found interesting and in fact, this Doctor person was finding me interesting. He was a great help with both Kosh and Ntrgu, I suspect he spoke their languages. They certainly seem to know him.

All of them were silent once the ceremony began, and I think I liked this one more than the first one. Of course it might have something to do with all the cultures represented in this room. More than a few not originally from Earth.

Charlie and Charlene made cute ring bearer and flower girl, I am told that no Re'tu are in attendance, though Sara made quite an impression among them. Rya'c stood with Will, Vin and JD, their own little 'rat pack' SG team. I think Chris called them 'Young Guns' or something.

Janet is looking nice with that Roger Healey fellow, and it seems Cassie approves of the Major. Of course I had to get her approval for my date to the first wedding, John Robert "Jack" Crichton, Sr. Come to think of it, the first wedding was rather top heavy with astronauts.

Anthony's wife Jeannie was such a dear and not that I condone the notion of 'good luck charms' or such, but I have to admit, when Jeannie is around you always find what you need. It may not be there immediately in sight, but it shows up just a moment or two after Jeannie knows you're looking for it. Jamie and I got along as we're both teachers, or I had been at least.

Then there is Helena and her husband and astronaut, John Koenig. I would consider them part of the astronaut club, but also Janet's 'med team'. Helena, Maureen, and Raine were naturally on the bride's side, but also sat close to Janet. I suppose one fed into the other. If they hadn't joined Janet, then there might not be a gathering of astronauts.

A theory I toss out as my John, I suppose I could say Robert or Jack for the purposes of this journal, also gravitated towards Roger. The sociologist in me noticed that when you have one astronaut it snow balls when others arrive. They're a small group, a rare and unique cliché, who might not see each other often, but they share a special occupation.

I suppose Daniel and the Stargate people will be like that in the years to come. If I give the inner archeologist rein, I would have to admit my profession is similar. Though by no means not as affable. Get two archeologists with differing theories and you won't get the camaraderie I'm seeing here with these men.

Of course where would this entry be without describing the wedding. Jack cut a nice figure in his uniform, Sara looked beautiful, glowing in white, which with this crowd could have been literally, but in this case it was figuratively. Vincent gave her away, the vows were beautiful, a mix of modern and traditional. It was a surprise for me, I pegged the both of them as traditionalist.

Not that Jack O'Neill isn't the kind to go one way then do a complete reversal to throw off friend or foe.

Well, surrounded by plenty of friends, it was quite a wedding, both times it happen.

Author's notes: Not grand as I would have liked it, but my mind was too assailed with RL issues. So this chapter might just see a re-write someday.


	23. Shading Grey

Shades of Grey

Author's notes: This is a short chapter, Shades of Grey is one of my least favorite, though it was a good one.

Sara's diary

Some honeymoon, though thinking about the last part of that word and maybe I should find a new one to describe just the situation I'm in, we're in, as poor Jack has to pull off one heck of an acting job. When Thor beamed us up wedding regalia and all, I thought some weird congratulations after the ceremony thing. However no, he was happy for us, at least said so, it's kinda hard to tell 'happy Thor' from 'unhappy Thor' even when it was the latter we saw.

So Jack is off on a mission on his own, while I wait for him again. That's not so out-of-the-ordinary. What is out of the common way is where I'm waiting for him, in orbit of Earth, on Thor's ship, still in my wedding gown. I suppose I should ask for other clothes to wear again. I'm half afraid not only won't I get any meaningful reply, Thor might decide I go Asgard and wear nothing at all.

Which all of this nonsensical stuff is really to take my mind off of not only what Jack is doing, but under the excuse he's doing it. You see, I'm dead, well officially dead. I'm trying not to think how this is hitting dad, and I how much I wanted to slip him a note, something to say I'm really alright and alive. I'd like to tell all my friends that, but for Jack to be believed, I can't risk contact. Not that I've been given a chance, there isn't a phone for quite a few bazillion miles after all.

I'm sure Jack is going to be fine, he's an old hand at these special operation things, and this time he's not going in under fire. Of course he could still get killed, something else I'm trying not to think about. I don't know if whoever is behind the thefts are the kind who kill, and I hope Jack doesn't find out the hard way.

Thinking about the aftermath isn't a pretty line of speculation either. Our friends are not going to be happy we didn't let them in on this. Obeying orders, even General Hammond's, is not going to go over very well. Not if Jack sticks with the bitter-about-life-since-his-newlywed-wife-just-died-act. Which in a very odd way is flattering that others will buy that. It means that even if he's not obvious about how he feels about me, it shows enough so that others believe it.

Now that's a thought I should hold onto while I wait for word.

Drey'auc's day

Teal'c is not happy. None of us are. Losing Sara O'Neill is a wound it will take many in the Stronghold long to recover from. O'Neill is not handling it well, he keeps to himself and will let neither my husband nor Daniel Jackson help him in his time of need. This is hard on everyone as O'Neill draws an invisible fortress around himself letting none near. In fact he is starting to repel any who tries to come close to him.

We do understand though. Meeting with the Jacksons and Samantha Carter, I can see that both Teal'c and Daniel Jackson feel that if they lost me or Sha're they too could pull in upon themselves. Yet with this understanding I am still curious as to why they drew what the Tau'ri call 'lots' to see who would go talk with him. Perhaps it is because all of us would want to go help and this matter really is for only one to go. None of the women are included, for this is a matter between men. Perhaps later after they fail then one of us will go to O'Neill.

"My Dan'yel says it did not go well," Sha're says the next day as we gather in Claire Jackson's office. She has been trying to handle Sara's affairs among her former neighbors and now has inherited Sara's position as liaison with those of us not of the Tau'ri. This morning we share tea, a Tau'ri custom that both Sha're and I have grown accustomed to. We understand, all of us, while Sara's death in a 'traffic accident' was sudden it is not as if O'Neill changed overnight to not be the friend all of us regard so highly.

I am not surprised by the speculation that the NID arranged for something to happen to Sara. It is much like the first James Bond movie after he married. Which when I share my theory, Claire Jackson is quick to point out that it is only a movie. Teal'c, Rya'c and I have heard that phrase time and time again, but its meaning eludes us other than some things we see have not actually happen. However we see truths in what the Tau'ri movies show.

Claire insists the matter is dropped but Teal'c and I believe they are behind this if anyone is. It might just be an accident, but we have seen more than one movie where such accidents had been arranged.

We found later we were both right and wrong about the NID being behind what happened.

Sha're's story

"Sara!" There were so many in the gateroom it might have been hard to see if not for her wedding gown that made her stand out. Engulfing her in a hug I feel Drey'auc's arms go around us as well and then something Dan'yel has called a 'group hug' formed as more and more of us embraced her at once. Being near the center I almost felt crushed and was happy for the feeling.

Then it hit us, this had been a deception, "You have been alive all this time? Where?" why also came to my lips but General Hammond explained that. The NID rogues have been stealing from so many in our name that no-one knew who could be trusted. I have seen that in more than one movie on a Tau'ri 'Girls Night Out' event at either Sara's or Good Mother's.

"Thor's ship...it wasn't the most comfortable of places at first. Which reminds me," I see her turn to Jack, "We are going to go out to eat tonight, someplace any place with a good steak, or something I recognize as food." From the smiles among the Tau'ri they found that very humorous, I will have to ask Dan'yel why afterwards.

"If everyone will excuse me I need to call my dad," Sara said to us, leaving our circle with a surprising rise in tension once she has departed. Sharing a look with Drey'auc we notice it is SG-1 regarding Jack that has created this tension.

"Do you not understand?" I try to placate the feelings of betrayal, "It is just like in your movies. When you do not know who to trust, then you have to -appear- to trust no-one. Not because there is no trust, but those who spy on the others have to believe someone good has gone bad."

They look at me oddly, even Dan'yel, as if I have said some great truth and embarrassed them by it's speaking that truth as if my Dan'yel had said it or Saman'tha had uttered it.

"Surely you do not deny the truth of your movies," Drey'auc says stepping next to me, I feel her support with her presence as much as with the words she speaks on my behalf.

"Come on, I'll take you out to O'Malley's," I look to Dan'yel after Jack makes what I think the Tau'ri would call a peace offering and see him, Saman'tha and Teal'c slowly nod their heads. There is still hurt there, but I think this will be the first step to healing it.


	24. New Grounds

New Grounds

Sara's diary

This does not look good. It's not often when it does either, but then again normally the MALP is back at the gate and we don't learn that there has been trouble until -after- they boys and girls get back. And this time it is girls in the plural.

I really did see this one coming, had for almost a year. With Jack and I back together again I'm not as worried about it as I was then. At the time I knew it was going to happen, I wondered what would become of me. After all she is my job, or was my job at the beginning. Now that description has expanded, but for a while I didn't know if I would still be employed when Drey'auc was cleared to go on missions.

She's not part of SG-1 officially, and General Hammond is still unsure how to go about this. In the military, Earth, Tau'ri, whatever, military you don't have a husband and wife serving the same combat unit. Nor among the Jaffa does this exist. Sure the women are taught to fight in case their homes are attacked while the men are away fighting for their false god, but no-where are there mixed units, much less husband and wife.

So this is all new ground for all of us. General Hammond is willing to give it a try, Jack is willing to give it a try, only because Teal'c wants to give it a try. Everyone it seems wants to give it a try, especially Drey'auc. I know she had taste of it these last two years, going out at different times, most of them armed. I think she really decided she wanted to fight by Teal'c's side when she gave a speech to the Jaffa women back on Chulak.

General Hammond said they about doubled their recruits for fighters when they went to rescue SG-1 from Hathor. I think that was another reason General Hammond let her do this, because he was in the crowd when she gave that speech. He probably sees this as more than her going out with Teal'c, this might be the both of them as a symbol for Jaffa freedom.

Women's lib, Jaffa style, gotta love it.

All of this is easier than thinking about Jack, Daniel and Sam in cages. I wasn't meant to see that MALP pan, no-one expected it. I had been grateful General Hammond let me in the control room to see what was going on. Now I'm watching as the SGC is mobilizing to rescue SG-1 again. Like on Chulak I think Robby is going to lead the offensive, though I thought I overheard Walter mention something about the gate glider being brought in from Area 51.

It worked before, why not now?

Alan and a Jaffa priest named Tolok are coming down from Moonbase Alpha to fly it. Alan Carter certainly went the distance for Jacob, no surprise he'd do the same for his cousin Sam.

"Sara?" I still hear Sha're's voice, a tap on my shoulder as I had took to pacing up in the conference room. It had long been vacated as plans were made. I think I nearly jumped as she suddenly seems to just be there, I know I probably stood there gaping like a fish when she asked me to take her to General Hammond.

It looks like Drey'auc isn't the only one to cover new ground this time around.

General Hammond is covering quite a lot of it for everyone. He would do just about anything to safeguard the people under his command. I don't wonder at all why everyone is so loyal to him and why the President Keller has so much trust in him. Drey'auc and Sha're were surprises, but they weren't the only surprises I was about to get.

"Mrs. O'Neill!" I just do not get tired of hearing that name now, but the voice was out of place. It wasn't that I didn't recognize Charlie's voice, I just didn't expect Charlie here and now. He was either back among the Re'tu or going back and forth with the Tok'ra.

It seems General Hammond is covering quite a lot of new ground today.

Drey'auc's day

Hi'ato-chell'nak, a Jaffa ritual for women to walk their husbands on to where they would meet up with the enemy, ready to fight beside them at any point of the journey. Later it became a symbol, to say that we are always with them in spirit as they fight.

Today Teal'c and I practice it far more as it might have been for the first Jaffa to do so. I go with SG-1 on a mission, one of many I hope. General Hammond heard us out after O'Neill heard my husband on the matter. I think O'Neill was hesitant, but with Major Carter also supporting the idea and Doctor Jackson pointing out how it might look to other Jaffa, it let him finally decide to take us to General Hammond.

Though personally I think it was Sara who convinced him the most the night before. Women of the Tau'ri and the Jaffa may not be as different as some might think.

Talk at night, when one's man is more ready to think, or sometimes less prepared to do so, and present it softly, one is likely to get what one needs to be done. Mid-day risks being forgotten as their day is one their minds, morning has too much a promise of what the day will bring. It is at night when it is best to strike. The mind is settling from the day, and is likely weary from it.

Not that I needed to talk to Teal'c as such. We have discussed this off and on for many times before we Kel no'reem in the evening. He has not forgotten my words back on Chulak, where the women there did not walk away as they might have, but many joined us to go and fight the false goddess Hathor. Many tasted the freedom of fighting beside the men.

Tec'ma-te Bra'tac had said in the aftermath that my words swayed many and to this day we have some who now walk with him because of those words. My husband and I have become a symbol for freedom and now it is time to show that symbol for my people, though I will admit, wanting to go because I want to go.

It was good that I went along.

Teal'c would have been stubborn to accept the help of Nyan, insisting first to go fight blinded instead of waiting until his sight could be restored. We were able to avoid many patrols and find this place in the cave to hide while Nyan goes for help.

"The best way to help SG-1 my husband is to wait until we may do so together," I urge him yet again when he wishes to move before Nyan's return.

While I would have gone to see how our friends fare, I know my husband. He would not promise to stay, or would do so only grudgingly. He might if he saw it as his duty, but I will not force that issue with him. He has often told me of the wisdom of picking one's battle instead of letting someone else pick it for you.

Finally Nyan returns and uses his medicine upon my husband. Slowly his vision returns, but of course not fast enough for him. Forget the miracle of the medicine, it is a miracle that is too slow for my husband. I blame him not, for as much as I wanted him to wait, I too want to go help our friends.

Now we go to help O'Neill, Daniel Jackson and Samantha Carter...and the plan to take the shuttle works. Nyan stays with my husband as I remove the obstacle of the guards. It is in the skies we see a surprise that my husband recognizes by sound before I by sight.

In the skies of Bedrosia a cha'tak flies and on the ground, a battle wages. It is time to join it.

Sha're's story

Oh my Dan'yel! A prisoner in the hands of those who will not listen, of those who demand we are what we are not! This Rigar will not hear our words, will not believe them. He is convinced of the false gods, the demon who brought his people to that world and of nothing else.

My Dan'yel suffers in that cage they have him in. I know, I could see it. I wish I could do something, and then it comes like a sandstorm of home, I -can- do something. Jan'et has shown me I can help her in the infirmary, and Jack had shown me with the Stragoth I can do something in battle. Not only Jack, but Drey'auc has shown the way.

I can help my Dan'yel!

"Toto," I have to smile at the name Jack has given K-9, "Where is Sara?"

Watching K-9's ears waggle back and forth I am told a real dog's ears do not move as so, but right now I am glad K-9 is not a real dog.

"She is up in the Conference room, mistress."

While Jack does not approve, I still pat K-9 on the head, as I have heard that is what one does when a dog is good, "Thank you, Toto."

"Sara?" from her flinch, she did not hear me approach. It is important I do not give her time to think of why I want what I ask of her, so as she gapes at me I must ask, "Sara I would like to see General Hammond."

"Let me get this straight, Mrs. Jackson," I understand from his manner of a leader like my father, he is inclined to approve, now comes his ensuring I know what I am really asking, "You want to go with the rescue team for SG-1? I'm still inclined to decline that request, Mrs. Jackson. Dr. Jackson just got you back. No one on this base, myself included, wants to risk losing you."

"Drey'auc has been allowed to go fight," I have to let him interrupt me, it will make him feel better.

"Begging your pardon, Mrs. Jackson, but she is a Jaffa. As I understood it, as I have seen, she is well aware of battle and the battlefield. Why should I let you put yourself in harms way?"

"I have mastered the Hand of the Gods, the Goa'kesh'sha," leaving the statement by itself does the work for me. They have come up against many Goa'uld with it. General Hammond has read many reports on what the Hand of the Gods could do. I let that knowledge run through his mind as I have seen my father do to village elders who disagree with him.

And like my father I do not leave it too long to be blown over by the sands of other's thoughts. "It is like the cha'tak, you should not leave a power like that unused and no-one else but Saman'tha could use it and even she not very well."

Again I must remain quiet to let my message do the work for me, then press again with one manner my father could not employ. "Please, General Hammond. I can do this. I can help my Dan'yel. I can help SG-1. I have fought beside O'Neill and Teal'c, battle is no stranger to me."

I will not point out it was my only battle for I wish to strengthen my argument not weaken it.

Seeing him think, I am again reassured, he is likely thinking of the Stragoth too. "Alright Mrs. Jackson, suit up. You will go with SG-2. You will follow everything Major Ferretti tells you, is that understood?" Nodding I wait until he gives leave for me to go. Then stop at the door, "Thank you General Hammond."

His slight smile surprises me, I have seen that smile when he has given into Jack on a point, "Think nothing of it Mrs. Jackson. Just come back in one piece."

"I just can't get over it, having that thing on our side for once," Lou'is tells me with a smile to let me know he is teasing me. I am sure a moment later as he gives a smile like Jack, "I like it!"

"Just stay with Robby, Mrs. Jackson," Will tells me and I think it is so sweet. His mother was in the locker room earlier with me, saying nearly the same thing. She, Jan'et and Sara stayed with me as I dressed in the BDU given me, a quick test of the, of -my- Goa'kesh'sha, shows me it was active, and seems to reassure them. Though like now, I know they will continue to worry.

Especially when they hear Chris' plan.

I still do not understand these ranks among the Tau'ri. Chris is a Captain in the Navy, and yet a Captain in the Air Force is not the same. In fact Chris not only out ranks him but is equal to O'Neill or Dave who are both Colonels.

I do understand what Chris wants me to do. I am to ride with Will in the MAT and once we are through the gate follow along behind Robby and 'knock over' opposition.

Nor is that all Chris asks me to do and I do not take offense with it. When he asks me to look after Charlie I know it is because he will ride in the MAT with Will and I. Sara or Jan'et had described Charlie as looking 'adorable' in the BDU that Walter somehow found in his size. Dan Siler fitted him with a radio in his helmet, again where Walter found one his size is another miracle, one of many, he performs for the Tau'ri so constantly.

"I will be fine, Mrs. Jackson," Charlie says to me, "Basif convinced Colonel Koenig and then General Hammond that he will make sure I will stay safe and follow orders." Having had my own demon I know what the Tok'ra in him will indeed help out. I still find it hard to think of him as able to go on this rescue, he looks but a child, but I know he is more.

Chris is happy to have the Re'tu going in 'on point' as I understand it. They, like Charlie and I guess myself, are all temporarily part of SG-1 under Lou'is for today.

Good mother is first to hug me, wishing me well, I can tell she is not happy, but she wants Dan'yel back as much as I. Mau'reen, Sara, Jan'et, Lou'is has to come for me before the farewells are over. Helping me up into the MAT, then they help Charlie up to take his place beside Will and I.

I almost fall off when Will starts it up to take its place behind Robby, Charlie helping me stay up with strength that can only come from a symbiote. I do not see the Re'tu ahead of Robby, but I do hear Charlie instruct them to make room for the two cha'tak that will go to Bedrosia right after them.

I see Jan'et not try and show how much she will worry about her Roger as he and An'thony as well as Alan and Tolok who lower from the silo in the cha'taks that were once Heru-ur's and Apophis' and now will fight for us.

Dan'yel would call the slight smile of mine a 'guilty pleasure' I think. Recalling where the SGC obtained the cha'tak two of SG-10 will fly, I remember Dan'yel telling me it came from the fight to rescue SG-1 from Hathor.

My demon and I both did not like Hathor, I think I more once I heard what she did to my Dan'yel. I wish I had a Sarcophagus to revive her, only to push her into the vat of freezing liquids again. It is a thought that scares me, pleases me. A thought too much like my demon, yet one I find does not disgust me.

My heart races as the Chappa'ai is dialed. I must not fail my Dan'yel. I -will- help him. Deep breaths, deep breaths. Drey'auc does this for her husband, I will do this for mine.

If I look very closely, I see the slight ripple as the Re'tu go through first. I do not hear their voices over the radio in Charlie's helmet, but he turns to look back up at the control room and shouts, "They say it is clear General Hammond!"

"Rescue force," I see General Hammond lean over Walter's shoulder to talk into the microphone, "You have a go."

Alan flies the one cha'tak through first, then An'thony flies his through next with bolts of energy that fly through the Chappa'ai shortly afterwards. Every shot stopped as Robby generates a force field and starts to move forward when Lou'is gives the go for SG-1 to move out. He leads the rest of SG-2 flanking the MAT Will is driving. Major Warren of SG-3 following immediately afterwards with Chris leading the rest behind us.

Everywhere there is firing and the enemy has my Dan'yel pinned down along with the others. We get in through the Chappa'ai but cannot go far as we are out in the open and Robby's force field is only so big.

Then I get an idea to buy time. "Charlie, where are the Re'tu?" I ask not wanting to hurt them with my plan. "They were over helping SG-1, Mrs. Jackson," he says after a glance where the rest of us would see nothing. "Thank you Charlie!" I shout over the weapons fire and raise my hand to start my plan.

Sand explodes up in curtains in the wake of using my Goa'kesh'sha on the ground near the Bedrosian soldiers. Many SG smiles at me briefly, some just nod, all move forward and take cover.

They like my idea of how to add to 'cover.' I am slightly embarrassed as I hear Will yell back over the fighting, "Good idea Mrs. Jackson!"

Still knocking over this or that Bedrosian, I raise my voice, which amazingly calms me somewhat as I answer, "I got the idea from one of the ways of helping me learn En'glish, reading a com'ic book. The bully kicking sand gave me the idea." His laughter assures me as I hop out of the MAT and take up a spot near Robby gesturing Charlie to stay where he is at.

Charlie's Re'tu gave SG-1 their chance to grab weapons and attacking from the Bedrosians from other direction. What confused me was why Alan or An'thony let a shuttle land, the cha'tak were not firing on it at all, but once it did I saw Drey'auc and Teal'c with another Bedrosian.

Then Na'than ran over with SG-6, some of SG-7 and Steve from SG-10. I make sure that way is clear with another blast, Jean'nie will want her husband back as all the families will want their love ones to come home safe. I only spend a moment puzzled as to why Steve went -into- the shuttle, then seeing it rise a moment later, I understand. He is going to go help the rest of SG-10 up in the air.

That same Bedrosian who came out of the shuttle now is helping Saman'tha, while Dan'yel and Na'than help Drey'auc with Teal'c for some reason. He must be injured, it is the only reason I can Teal'c needing help. Jan'et will make it better, Jan'et and I of course.

"Sha're!" it is the sweetest sound to my ears, my Dan'yel's call for me. I do not remember if I ran to him or he to me, I just remember his arms, his warmth, his hair like the sands of home. We will talk later, now that we have won his freedom and apparently that of three Bedrosians who now wish to spread the truth about the Chappa'ai. Who will try to do so from hiding, with a promise of help from the Tau'ri. A promise made because it is the right thing to do, though in my heart I think it is also because of what may be traded, as the Tau'ri have no weapons like the Bedrosians.

Leaving that to others, I enjoy my Dan'yel free now, and the fact I found I could help on the field not just after it with Jan'et. Yes, Dan'yel and I will talk of this new ground I have crossed and how I may hope to cross it yet again someday.


	25. Maternal Instincts

Maternal Instincts

Sara's diary

It began as one of the strangest days and that is saying something about the SGC. Receiving a special code on the GDO and then pouring into the gateroom were Jaffa men -and- women, the last of which were walking backwards staff weapons, okay yes the Cultural attaché should use the proper word, Kara'bashaak'tak. Anyway, they seem to be covering the retreat, which is what it looked to this civilian.

Whatever was chasing them, I think stopped after Robby fired something through the event horizon. I was told it was impossible to do that from an incoming wormhole, but since it wasn't Sam who told me that I guess I shouldn't have set such a thought in stone. I mean we could send radio waves, transmissions through an incoming wormhole why not something Robby shot from his shoulder?

He had rolled into place during the alert and pretty much stood at the center and bottom of the 'U' shaped formation of soldier and implements of destruction and now stood down as the wormhole closed and Jaffa stood about, some in a daze, others actually walking up to Robby. I'm thinking they must be some of the ones who fought beside him when General Hammond, Teal'c and Drey'auc organized the rescue of SG-1 earlier this year from Hathor.

Many were injured and I heard General Hammond's call for medics. SG-7 had returned recently which explained why Nathan was in there among the injured Jaffa as well as Janet, her teams and Sha're with her Ka'kesh'prim'ta, what translates well as 'Hand of Life' or what most in the SGC call a Healing device. Since she started helping Janet a whole lot more injured were out of her infirmary a lot faster, to say nothing of the lives she saved that may not have been just with Janet and her considerable skills.

However what caught my and I suspected General Hammond's attention once the medics had been called were three people in the center of all of this, Bra'tac, Rya'c, and Kosh of all people. Last I heard the latter was up on the moon, but I didn't know who the former was supporting between himself and Rya'c.

There was a fourth I recognized but I didn't know Tolok well. Last I heard he was Moonbase Alpha's resident Jaffa, a priest if I recall correctly and older than Bra'tac.

Maneuvering among injured Jaffa to get to Rya'c was tricky but I was on automatic. I just had to get to the not so little anymore Jaffa boy. Jaffa man to his face, he would be hurt to read me refer to him as a boy, but then again it is extremely unlikely he'll read this diary now isn't it?

I learn the name of the badly injured Jaffa Rya'c and Bra'tac had between as Moac. Janet pretty much snatches him first for the gurney and I hear her call for Sha're to come as soon as she can.

Then one Jaffa boy was engulfed by one Mrs. Sara O'Neill.

I know he wasn't here long, but like Cassie I'm still attached to Drey'auc's son. She and Teal'c come running of course, and by the time they catch up we're up in the Conference room trying to keep out of the way and really find out just what the heck happened.

Drey'auc's Day

My son has grown so and yet I still see so much of the boy I have raised in the warrior he is becoming. He has grown beyond the point where a mother's embrace does not embarrass, or maybe not. I think it is more he is too tired or in shock to care. I see Master Bra'tac is war weary as my husband notices this too. For now father and son do not embrace to shield embarrassment mother and son do not have to concern ourselves with.

General Hammond has good news among the bad that is in my son's and Master Bra'tac's eyes. I see it in his once he hangs up the phone, "Good news people. Everyone is going to make it," the slight smile was one of relief.

"Even Moac?" Bra'tac asks with great concern and I see my son also has an intense interest. General Hammond nods and confirms which seems a great weight off of Master Bra'tac's shoulders.

"May I see him?" the question was quick upon the heels of General Hammond's nod and soon after that we were following in their wake down to Doctor Frasier's place of healing.

I see Rya'c go to one side of who must be Moac as he laid in a bed, Master Bra'tac the other, all regard the other as Moac finally whispers to Bra'tac, "I have failed you."

"No. It is I who have failed you," Bra'tac says and I see in both Moac and Rya'c's eyes disbelief, I also see on their lips protest to a Master they both respect.

"Master," my son begins, "You have led us all to safety. You have done so against impossible odds."

Moac's arm shot up, his hand gripping Bra'tac's arm, "Master without you we all would have died."

"No-one could have saved so many brother Bra'tac," I hear the Jaffa priest try to console my husband's mentor. He wears the mark of Heru-ur as his former master and I saw his eyes flicker to the mark I now wear, and the respect I see in his eyes seared away the chauvinism I spotted earlier.

When I see Bra'tac briefly turn away I see wounds in his eyes that no Ka'kesh'prim'ta, nor Sarcophagus could heal, I hear it in his voice when he speaks, "So many did not. In my 135 years I have never seen a Goa'uld turn on those that carry its kind this way. He massacred so many that have worshipped him for so long."

We listen, my husband comes to his defense, my son joins him, but it seems not enough to assuage Master Bra'tac's weariness of the death he had seen of so many Jaffa, ones who did not even rebel, who did not follow us to freedom but clung to their false gods even as they were slaughtered by them.

He brood like a wounded beast, which had crawled into his hole to await death, the silence drawn around him like the mountain of this stronghold. My son ends the silence, though it does not draw Bra'tac back to us.

"Father, could not Apophis used weapons to fire upon us from space if death is all he wanted?" my son could not understand, nor could I and like my son hopes his father will have the answer as the one most wise in his life for now. "He had his army sweep through Chulak, every house, every hut, every village shooting, killing, hunting..."

Finally I see Maser Bra'tac rouse from his self-imposed solitude as if an answer finally caught him and reminded him to live again, "They were searching for something." The revelation somehow sheds some of the burdens that bowed his shoulders. As one we all turn as we hear a gasp, it is Sha're.

"My son," we hear her, she had come to check on Moac having used the 'Hand of Life' upon him saving his life apparently. Though weary she is from so much use of the Ka'kesh'prim'ta there is a mounting fury in her eyes that would do a Jaffa proud, "He is after my son!"

Sha're's story

"My son!" I say a third time and suddenly my Dan'yel is here his arms around me. I hear him explain to those who do not know the story of my shame, my child who was not fathered by my beloved. How coldly my son is described as the Harsesis as my Dan'yel tells the tale of my woe so gently, so circumspect to protect my feelings.

Bra'tac asks the question my Dan'yel and I have asked ourselves so many times in the months since my freedom. He pulls me into him and I bury my face into his shoulder. I feel his chin upon my head, his fingers through my hair, I know he hopes to calm my spirit, the turmoil of not remembering where my own son is, where my demon had hidden him even from my mind.

It was her last act of vengeance. She knew she was dying by the Hammer of Thor, and while she inflicted great pain, she also tried to take with her death the very details she knew I would want to know.

"Kheb," I find the voice to say finally and turn from my Dan'yel's shoulder, "All I remember is he is at Kheb."

Teal'c sees it first that Bra'tac knows something about it and suddenly the old and wise Jaffa is the center of my attention, I hear no-one else but him as he might know where my demon hid my son.

"It is an ancient legend. I did not believe it really existed," he says as my heart falls, I had hoped he knew more.

"It has to," my Dan'yel insists and then I nearly jump as Kosh speaks.

"It does."

We ask where but even as the question leaves our lips I somehow know he will either not say or cannot. "It is not will not," I find coming from my lips unbidden, "It is cannot."

"Truth," the single word with the chimes that always accompany his speech says much more to me than the singularity of that word.

"How do you know?" I hear my Dan'yel whisper to me and I turn to look up to him, "I just do husband."

Our eyes hold one another's as Bra'tac explains to the others about Kheb, at least what he knows of it. He has the attention of every Jaffa in hearing as they lay upon their beds and as their mates or friends hover nearby.

Finally he tells of Lok'na core after my husband and Teal'c guide his thoughts and speech to lead to an answer I feel in my heart that we are close to finally finding my son.

Kosh comes with us as we find Saman'tha and more importantly her cousin, JD. It is this young man who is so good with records and information who explains about which addresses on the computer screen were from Abydos and which O'Neill had entered when the knowledge of the Ancients.

JD, Saman'tha and my Dan'yel with guidance by Bra'tac and Tolok find the address and it is not long after that than my husband I have had one of our first fights since Abydos.

"You aren't going," he says with such fire that it ignites one in my own heart and eyes.

"I was with you to fight against Ra, I helped take back this place from the Stragoth, I helped to rescue you my husband! I will go to find my son and I will be fine doing so!" There is a retort in his eyes as we argue in private, but it does reach his lips.

Even as our eyes met I know he would point out that in the fight with Ra, I died, and Dan'yel brought me to Ra's sarcophagus to bring me back to life, wisely the reminder does not leave his tongue. I concede the unsaid point and by doing so I see in his eyes that I will go.

"I couldn't stop you from coming with me against Ra, why should this be any different," is about the closest he will come to remind me to be careful.

"I will be more careful this time my Dan'yel," we fill our arms with each other and all is well again.

I was not in the meeting with General Hammond, but my Dan'yel did tell me that he approved of my going, and apparently we will not be going alone as SG-2, and 7 will be coming with us as 'back up' as Jack puts it. Kosh and Tolok will also come along, the priest wishes to see Kheb himself, while Kosh will not say why he wishes to come but he is granted leave to by General Hammond in any case.

Slipping on the Hand of the Gods, I wonder when it started to change, when it began to not just remind me of the horror of my enslavement and became a tool like my Dan'yel's brush to wipe off artifacts or Jack's bi-noc-ulars to see great distances. When it stopped reminding me I almost killed my Dan'yel.

It fits the same, just like the BDU I wear again, with its vest and the side arm strapped to my thigh. Every my protector, Drey'auc goes over how everything fits and bears with me as I return the gesture with her. I am not as comfortable but I wish to show I will look after her as she continues to look after me.

Robby rolls to a stop at what I now recognize as 'point.' Jack tells SG-2's new leader, Major Coburn, to stay and guard the Chappa'ai as we spread out and start searching. Kosh surprises us all by staying with Major Coburn, but Tolok continues on with us.

However that was not the first surprise we had upon coming through the Chappa'ai. Robby had lead the way and as we...flanked is the word Jack used to tell us to go to either side of him we saw two other Vorlons standing in the clearing. Their encounter suits were similar to each other yet differed from Kosh's.

Kosh glided up to them and they spoke a language none seem to know though Tolok appeared to recognize parts of it. My Dan'yel will want to spend long hours talking with him after this is over, I know my husband.

While each spoke the chimes accompanied their words though we still did not understand them. Finally they stopped and Kosh turned to Jack and simply said, "We will stay."

Vin is the first to find something, with Bra'tac and Teal'c close on his heals. I see Drey'auc try to silently encourage her son as I can see he is disappointed in himself for not spotting what the other young man had. Every since his return, he has been talking with Will and JD, and they have been including him in the friendship they have with Vin. That probably took some of the sting Rya'c felt for not being immediately the warrior and tracker his father is.

I think it does him good to see even his father can be wrong as Bra'tac corrects him.

Dan'yel paces me, but I can see he truly trusts me to be careful. He is at my side but not smothering me with protection. Of course, having SG-2 and 7 along with us may have had something to do with how safe he feels.

Drey'auc is so admiring of her husband's skill as a tracker and I see pride in Rya'c instead of the earlier sting of failure as Teal'c and Bra'tac tell the story of the tracks and bodies we find. While Jack is disbelieving of how much information could be garnered, Chris is use to Vin and I see complete belief with him and SG-7.

If I was grateful for my demon's theft of memory it is once the priestess was found. I knew I knew her, something within me said there was recognition. It prompted me to go to her side while Bra'tac examined her, to look upon her face and try to remember while Tolok knelt and said words of a Jaffa ritual one priest to another.

Tolok is the one who found the temple and I find that fitting as he is a priest. He goes in with Dan'yel, Jack and I as does Bra'tac. Unlike the others I was not hesitant to leave my Goa'kesh'sha with the rest of our weapons before entering. Jack is the only one to retain his, but leaves soon after we start speaking with the monk who has appeared.

I find his words much like Kosh's and to find my son I divest myself of the boots given to me to wear as does my husband, Tolok and Bra'tac. We sit cross-legged and talk, the words continue to befit those of Kosh instead of anyone else I have ever known. I think that is why I believe I can trust him, why I do not grab the monk and shake him, demanding he tell me where my son is.

When the Jaffa leave it is only Dan'yel and I left, and I feel I am ready to die for my child as my husband asks, "So, we don't, uh, we don't have to die, right?"

"I am ready, if it will give us my son," I let the two of them know and am told death is not needed, unlike the Jaffa we do not have an evil within us, even as he in the same breath tells me I have had an evil within me.

He tells us not to hate, that hate will lead to the death of my son. He tells us to trust this person my Dan'yel figures out is called 'Mother Nature.' Our hands burn as we trust the monk's words and our journey begins.

Jack interrupts and we have to show him what we could do with our minds. Dan'yel lights the candle, I put it out. Dan'yel lifts Jack's rifle from his hands and I give it back to him. However before we do more Jack's radio calls to him and he leaves the temple as apparently Robby has detected a Ha'tak in orbit.

Saman'tha comes back with Jack but is no more believing than Jack. In fact when we show her flames that stand as high as she does she still refuses to believe. They leave with their disbelief but I find I am closer now to finding my son than ever before. I know Dan'yel and I will stay however long it takes.

Once they leave a light appears in the air above us, then two and finally three lights come down to stop before us.

Hand-in-hand my Dan'yel and we meet Oma Desala, her face evident and something else something that spoke from my people and before I realized it the word come from my lips, "Isis!"

I am not sure but she might have inclined her head or shaken it in denial, I could not be sure but my husband got that look of his when he gets an idea and memory prompts him to speak. This time, and much like he did back on Abydos, I was his audience.

"Of course, Mother Nature, Desala, African, Isis symbolizes Motherhood, Nurturance, queen of all the Egyptian goddesses, is often represented as a woman with wings..." which mystifies me until I look at the other two and can only think of the word from my parents and their parents, of beings of light we called the Hunmanit and my husband now says, "Angels."

They were patient as my husband nodded and continued on looking at them but speaking to me as he knew of the Hunmanit, "Very much like our angels. They had a responsibility to look after the sun, such that by looking after the sun, they were also indirectly fulfilling a responsibility to look after humanity at the same time. Insofar as they were guardians, and angels, it does not seem unreasonable to characterize them as early versions of the guardian angel. As with the Sumerians, Egyptian iconography includes 'winged humans' of one sort or another!"

I had to smile, my husband gets so excited when he makes these discoveries. I don't understand half the time about them, but I love hearing him talk and try to explain them to me. When his words lose their wind, Isis and the Hunmanit turned away and walked through the wall.

My husband and I continue to hold hands as we follow them through that same wall, hesitating only a moment before walking through its solidity.

Then finally, my son!

Holding him in my arms I ache, I rejoice, my heart feels as if it could beat no more and yet races with the rapture I feel. Words are lost around me until I hear my husband say the ones I do not believe with my own ears at first, "You were trying to tell us the boy is better off here with you..."

"No!" I yell holding my son tightly too me, "He is better off with his mother, with me!" Then I look into her eyes and heard Kosh's voice of all beings.

_"Sha're, Daniel, learn."_

We see Apophis killing millions, we see other Goa'uld killing more, and we see other aliens coming to seek my son. We see Abydos and Earth as if war after war were fought above and on it. All of this to try and find my son.

I see the truth of this. This is not about me and having my son, this is about my son growing up safe and others continuing to live and not die for my son as the Jaffa of Chulak had died already. What mother could give up her son, and yet I have already killed so many as Amonet. I cannot kill more to have it my way that is too much like my demon. I will not be like my demon.

"Goodbye my son," the words barely choke out of my mouth as I hold him one last time and then hand him over to Isis or as my husband still calls her Oma Desala.

Tears blind me as I take my husbands hand and he leads me out of the temple, numbly I notice it is night and other things like the dead monk, and enemy Jaffa! It is just as Kosh showed, they are here for my son!

"Please Jack! Do as Dan'yel says! All of you," I turn in place as my Dan'yel continues to face the Jaffa of Apophis and from the mark of the speaker, Sokar who now serve Apophis. Looking earnestly at Jack, at Chris, at our Jaffa friends, pleading with them with my eyes, my heart. I know they will die if they do not listen to my Dan'yel and I have lost enough this day.

They listen, SG-1, SG-7, Drey'auc, Rya'c, Bra'tac and Tolok listen and lower their weapons to the ground. I turn to face the Jaffa I know are already dead while they stand there breathing and take my husband's hand as the lead Jaffa gives the order to fire.

Light, such as the kind the Hunmanit, the Angels, are made of, snatch the blast from in front of us, all of us and I hear my husband utter a single word, "Bye."

It is the last word these Jaffa hear as lighting strikes them dead, their bodies seared and I find I do not mind their deaths, they will not haunt me as others. They and their masters are responsible for the loss of my son, for my having to give him up. They cannot die painfully enough for me.

When Isis comes out with my son, the angels not in her attendance. I get to see my son one last time before Isis brushes her fingers against my husband's cheek, then my own before she rises into the air taking my son and what feels like my heart with her.

Author's notes: This turned out to be pretty much Sha're's story, and to those who cry out about what I'm doing with the Vorlons of Babylon 5 fame, I hope I had mentioned earlier in the series when they appeared I would be doing something different with them. As to why more characters this chapter is that I felt it needed them. The beauty of fanfiction, even if I'm not doing it well, is the ability to ignore budgetary concerns for actors who would have to be hired for brief appearances such as with the SG teams and Rya'c who I felt if Bra'tac had Moac as one of his students with him, Rya'c should have been there too.

Some lines from the show have been included, though a few lines I did alter.

Since this is way AU anyway I am doing something different with Oma as well as Isis, and not ignoring that in canon Isis was a Goa'uld who died in a soul jar.

Information about Isis and the Hunmanit I read off of Richard Ebbs website, which I realized I should have done more research but this fit what I wanted to do and if it's totally bogus, oh well. Hopefully you'll not be too outraged. Thanks for reading!


	26. Crystal Heart

Crystal Heart

Sara's Diary

Claire was furious! I don't think I've seen my neighbor so angry than when she found out Nicholas Ballard was alive. Well, his being alive was not the cause of her fury, it was when she discovered that he had refused to adopt Daniel after her supposed death over twenty years ago. She had no idea the man had been alive all this time and Sha're didn't know she had a grandfather, well grandfather-in-law, alive. Apparently she didn't know her paternal grandfather back on Abydos so finding one on Earth is a pleasant surprise. She was reacting with a kind of joyful shock.

That is when she wasn't worried about where Daniel is, and out of all of us, it was a question of where, not if he was still alive. Not that Jack actually thought Daniel was dead either. Just about everyone was convinced that whatever happened in that Mayan temple the team explored on P7X-377 it had to be some kind of transporter and Daniel was just somewhere else. Where no-one knew, but not dead. Definitely not dead.

Sha're quickly corrected anyone voicing that possibility.

And to be honest, given what SG-1 has gone through over the last three years, and what the SGC has experienced in total, it was far easier to believe Daniel had been transported than killed. In the SGC truth is always far stranger than any fiction devised by the best scifi authors.

Well hopefully Clair will cool down by the time we get to the psychiatric institution Nick checked himself into years ago. She won't say why she hadn't kept in touch with her father. About all I could get out of her was not showing up at her wedding or something like that.

I think it's a good thing we have Claire and Sha're with us. It has to be easier getting in to see Nick with relatives than just if SG-1, in civvies of course. We must look like quite the crowd as I suppose most patients don't get seven visitors at once. For Nick, going from none to seven of them must be feast and famine, which is if he wants visitors.

From what Dr. Lee told us any friends of Daniel are welcome, so let's hope whatever happened between him and Claire doesn't get us kicked out...or what may happen between those two.

"Dan'yel, I feel him, he is here," Sha're whispered to me, for which I am very grateful. This Ina'kalesh thing they have going on isn't exactly admissible in court, so we only have her word on it. Of course after Urgo I've noticed we tend to err on the side of caution when it comes to this so-called link between their souls.

I like to think Jack and I are Ina'kalesh too, he certainly feels like the other half of my soul. But Kosh didn't say that about us, and while I'd love to think it, maybe it's more Jack and I learned to make ourselves Ina'kalesh. To twine our hearts and souls together on our own, and as romantic as destined is, growing to become Ina'kalesh seems more satisfying than born that way.

Yes, I'm rationalizing, but I want to feel better about this and I do. I love Jack, and all this mystic stuff is all well and good, but at the end of the day, I'm just glad to go to sleep with him by me and in my heart.

Drey'auc's Day

Walking in with Claire Jackson is odd only in the manner of why she asked me to do so. My father does not still live, but if he did, I would not think I would need anyone to 'restrain me in case I try to do him harm.' Yet Claire has asked that and I will be there for her as she has been there for me. What Sha're made of this request I do not know, only she too looked as shocked at the notion as I had been. I just kept it off my face, as the Jaffa has been brought up to do.

"How could you? He was eight!" Claire began which I thought is an odd Tau'ri custom of greeting. Perhaps they don't have one when one has an accusation against one's parent. I have heard Sha're say on the way here that one simply does not do such on Abydos. Unlike Jaffa culture, human culture is very varied.

Finally the two stopped yelling and Claire looked ready to walk out when Sha're moved for attention. I think her making that move turned this from an aggressive meeting to one where Nicholas Ballard will talk to us about the Skull he found.

Eventually.

Right now he seems overjoyed that Daniel had found a wife and is happily married. I think it odd he was not so openly joyous to find his daughter alive and well when I had been told he was informed she had died.

I see in his eyes he is happy, but the words of his heart does not leave his lips regarding his daughter as they did his granddaughter-in-law. The ways of the Tau'ri truly are mystifying.

While we Jaffa keep what we have in our hearts in private, we do not deny them to those we truly love. Despite what human slaves of our false gods think, our hearts are not made of stone.

Sha're's story

Dan'yel is alive! He is near, I can feel him. I am surprised how quickly most seem to believe me, though Dr. Lee tends to shy away when I persist in saying Dan'yel is around.

Now I find I have a Grandfather! Good Mother does seem pleased he is alive, and I find I am shocked to hear he did not take his grandson in when Daniel needed to be loved when he thought his parents dead.

There meeting was quite explosive. I have heard voices raised like that before, but often in the meeting tents of my father with either the other elders or visiting ones. A kind of restrained yelling, perhaps to keep the doctors from rushing in.

Not that they could get past Teal'c outside or Drey'auc in here, to say nothing of Jack, Sara or Saman'tha.

I can see in Good Grandfather's eyes he is happy with the choice his grandson made taking me as his wife. He is a man who is not use to smiling, yet it lightens his heart to do so.

Agreeing to stay with him when he visits the SGC seemed the right thing to do, with Sara of course. I think she is the official greeter to many new to the SGC. Drey'auc tells me in the year before I was rescued, it was Sara who was her companion. Vin when he came to stay also talked with Sara often and when I decided to stay on the world of my husband, Sara was there for me.

She has a heart that truly wide and wondrous and Good Grandfather will be well taken care of with us.

It is just as well, since Good Mother will not speak much to him. There is much anger in her directed at him. I must not seem to be too supportive of him or her anger might be directed at me.

Unlike the first nights since he disappeared, I do not feel Dan'yel near me until later that evening. It is not until the next morning that I find out why. He had been talking with Good Grandfather who apparently can see him. The others are shocked by this, but I am not. I knew my Dan'yel was near, this only proves it to others who did not fully believe me.

From what they talk about it was this Crystal Skull that made it possible for Good Grandfather to see and hear my Dan'yel. His words convince even General Hammond of the truth and that we must head back to the cavern to cure my husband.

"I want to come along too," and I know I have to think quickly since I see the denial already on many lips, "I can protect Good Grandfather, to free up the rest of you to help find my Dan'yel. I can use the Hand device."

I am still not completely comfortable with it, but the Goa'kesh'sha has come to serve as it had come to hurt and I find it a way to go along when I think they would have barred me from doing so without it.

So once again I find myself dressing in a BDU and having Drey'auc check to see if all fits correctly. Shortly thereafter with her on one side of Good Grandfather and me on the other, we walk him through the Chappa'ai as we go to bring my Dan'yel back and solve the riddle of the Crystal Skull.

There is much wonder as we enter the huge cavern and cross the narrow bridge. Drey'auc and I keep Good Grandfather from stumbling and in truth helping him keeps me from considering just how far down the cave goes. It is not something I want to think long about.

It is after the skull is put back and Saman'tha speaks of growing radiation, I feel for the Ka'kesh'prim'ta in a vest pocket ready to use it if any grow ill from this radiation and then my Dan'yel is here!

"O'Neill! Major Carter! Sha're!" we hear Teal'c call out and I see that both Jaffa do not appear to see or hear us any longer. We must be like my Dan'yel has been! It is not he who has returned to us, but we that have gone to him.

Only after Drey'auc and Teal'c have left under General Hammond's orders do these giants of mist rise up from the cavern below. Of course my Dan'yel understands them, he knows so much.

Yet the wonders do not cease as they begin to speak in a language we understand. My Dan'yel arranges for an alliance, and to my sorrow, they ask Good Grandfather to stay with them. Dan'yel also shares that sorrow for he just came back into our lives and now he is leaving.

We stare into the eyes of the Crystal Skull to return to our lives, but it is the disappointed eyes of Good Mother we must look into to and tell her that her father would not be coming back just yet.

"Figures," I hear her say in a tone that baffles me with a sadness that does not quite reaches her eyes.


	27. Nemesis

Nemesis

Sara's diary

Just a flash and he was gone. One moment Jack and I are saying goodbye to Sam, the next a flash a light and he vanishes. Sam was quicker on the uptake than I was, and I've been beamed a few times myself by Thor. Still this was not what either of us expected this morning. Not after seeing Drey'auc and Teal'c off as they went to visit Rya'c, or seeing Sha're finishing up healing Daniel after the appendix operation Janet performed. Sam's incomprehensible explanation of what she considers fun had left my mind a whirl when Jack disappeared.

Now I find myself in a meeting with General Hammond as we tried to think of why or what the Asgard would have to do with Jack. A call to Moonbase Alpha confirms that if it is the Asgard their stealth technology is sufficient that Alpha or their new satellite, SID, didn't pick up anything in orbit.

Then Jack was back, or well in the hologram sense at least.

"Jack..." and I really didn't care who else was in the conference room, nor did Jack from the way he looked at me, and said, "I love you." Then he winked out of existence and my heart felt dead. This was who Jack is, this is what he does, but to hear him not say he was going die to take out these bug things...I just stood there staring through the spot Jack's image stood.

Charlie...now Jack, and we just got back together. It seemed so unfair, but as the universe proved with Charlie, life isn't fair, it's just life.

"Mrs. O'Neill?" I think General Hammond had just softly called to me about the third time when it filtered through my grief.

I turned to see an offered kerchief and an empty room. "Come into my office, Mrs. O'Neill," and of course I followed, it was something to do, go on automatic until the shock of losing Jack wore off, if ever.

"Mrs. O'Neill, have a seat," I was prepared for some kind of platitude, the usual, 'I'm sorry' or something like it. I didn't expect hope, "We have a plan to get Jack home."

Now he had my complete attention.

"We're going to send up more than what your husband requested in five minutes. SG-1 and SG-10 will be going up with the supplies. Moonbase Alpha will send an Eagle to the coordinates either SG team will give and everyone will evac off the Asgard ship to the Eagle," I heard his words and had to slowly process them.

I knew some weeks ago, some months ago, Helena told me that Alan had gotten his X-305 program off the board before Area 51's X-301 and that the spacecraft called an Eagle successfully flew not just around the moon, but to the asteroid belt and to Mars. In fact several Eagles have been built and in use regularly, meaning they can get my Jack back to me.

That big lug didn't even think of that. I'm going to give him a piece of my mind when he gets home and that thought alone puts a smile back on my face. When he gets home...he'll be back. My Jack hasn't left me yet.

I find Sha're and Drey'auc in the locker room getting ready, they both give me a hug and promise to make sure Jack gets back to me. I know they will, and it's only then that I realize Sha're is going with them. Drey'auc I'm not surprised about. Talk is she may join SG-1 officially someday soon.

She's not just a good fighter, but she's a symbol to other Jaffa, especially their women. A symbol of freedom that they too can have.

But Sha're, I have to ask her, "Why is you going?"

"Thor is injured, dying, I might be able to help him with the Ka'kesh'prim'ta," I see her correct herself, "the Healing device. I helped my Dan'yel just this morning." Though I think I know why the note of disapproval crept into her voice. If she hadn't used the Healing device on her husband he wouldn't be going.

"And the Ribbon device?" I have to ask, I thought she hated that thing, reminded her of Amonet.

"It is how I could fight if needed and with the bugs up there, I should bring along something that could help fight," her answer made a lot of sense. In fact she's been using it on several missions lately. She's probably associating it more with helping than hurting as she did before.

Walking them to the Gateroom, we had to stop abruptly as we come upon Janet of all people saying goodbye to Major Healey.

"I -will- be careful," Roger was assuring her in a way that plainly showed they were more than just friends. If I recall correctly he did get the Cassie stamp of approval.

"Hurry, you must hurry," I heard K-9 say before I spotted the little robot gliding down the hallway, "Speed is of the essence. We are due to leave for the Asgard ship in one minute, twenty-one seconds."

We'd likely have just stayed there if Jack's five minutes weren't going to be up so soon. Janet had been on her way up and Roger down for a kiss to meet somewhere between their two heights when K-9 rolled in to fetch the stragglers. At least fetch is how it felt like as I can't recall if K-9 ever played messenger dog before. Then it hit me, -we- are due to leave.

"You're going K-9?" I found myself squatting by him to ask.

"The Doctor's protocols make an exception with the Asgard, and I can navigate an Asgard ship," I had to smile at his answer, no stairs so no problem for the legless robot dog wonder of ours. I rose to hear Janet trying to cover up what almost happened between her and Roger.

"Well just make sure the next time I see you it's your visiting the infirmary, not in it as a patient," Janet tried to sternly warn the man and I think for our sake.

She did join me as we saw off the two SG teams gathered around piles of equipment, including nine huge cases. "Space suits," Janet tells me as the teams vanish in that typical Asgard beam of white light.

Drey'auc's day

"I gave you people an order!" O'Neill was less than pleased to see us, and I think more displeased with how many of us showed up.

"General Hammond overruled you, sir. We have a way off the ship," Major Carter quickly informed O'Neill who turned his ire onto the fact of one of our company, as he incredulously pointed out, "You brought Toto along?"

"Every rescue needs a Lassie," Colonel Austin quipped, or I believe it was a Tau'ri quip. My husband took up the question both of us had, "Lassie?"

"A dog that always comes to the rescue," O'Neill summed up what his tone indicated was more to the story, but time was a limitation to tell it, unlike the comment he directed at K-9, "No barking, tell us plainly Timmy is in the well."

My husband and I exchanged a bewildered look as K-9 acknowledged the order and then all of us froze as we heard a skittering sound, like many things skittering.

"Grab what you can. Let's go!" O'Neill orders as we do quickly do so, making the weapons and explosives the priority but gathering a few of the huge cases filled with a spacesuit each. We couldn't grab all nine, not and maintain a prompt retreat.

"Follow me," K-9 said with O'Neill yelling, "Follow Toto everyone!"

Out into the corridor we went as we caught the first sight of the invader. Strange bug like robots that my husband's two shots with his Zat'nik'tel only shove back, but O'Neill's and Colonel Austin's shots shatter them.

I'm not sure how many of us were shocked to see two of them start to reform, save Sha're was not among that number. She used her Goa'kesh'sha and the hand of the gods flung them back shattering them on the closed door behind them. They did not reform afterwards.

"This way," K-9 repeated and we followed him all the way to where Thor lay in a kind of capsule or pod.

"Now just how did you know where to go?" O'Neill asked K-9 as I watched Sha're move to Thor, already exchanging her Goa'kesh'sha for her Ka'kesh'prim'ta, hoping to heal Thor as she had Daniel Jackson this morning.

"Asgard ship layouts are in my database, Colonel O'Neill," I heard K-9 reply while I watch Sha're. I do not know by sight if Thor is better, but he seemed less in pain than before.

He was well enough to comment on the plans O'Neill and Colonel Austin had presented and found the plan would not work.

I had not noticed K-9 by the Asgard control pedestal with Daniel Jackson, Major Carter and Major Nelson. When Thor indicated the technical specifications we turned to see the three already looking through them.

Daniel Jackson broke away to briefly explain, "K-9 is acting as a kind of search engine for us. There is a lot of data there, and we're guessing time is of the essence, so as Sam and Tony have questions, K-9 is able to get right to what they need to know instead of shifting through the information."

"We should probably get the other suits, while everyone is being caught up," Major Healey pointed out, as it had been, only four were brought along during our retreat from the Replicators, as the things are called, first attack when we arrived.

"Colonel, why don't you get the whole story from Thor, while I lead a team to go and get more suits," I hear Colonel Austin suggest to O'Neill who shakes his head, "Not enough people to carry those cases. Toto, you stay here and help Carter find her answers. The rest of us let's go retrieve our tickets off this boat."

This time what Replicators we encountered neither my husband nor I bothered with Zat'nik'tels, we simply used the Tau'ri weapons to eliminate them. On the way back was a problem, as our hands were full of the cases. That is for most, my husband and I were able to use what the Tau'ri call the SPAS-12 with one hand while the other holds a case between us. We both end up leading and when we get to an intersection, letting the others pass and bring up the rear.

I know I was not surprised to find that Major Carter had an answer to our dilemma. "...all we have to do is crash the ship into the atmosphere."

"I can show you the way," K-9 volunteers after a plan to go to the bridge and access the navigational controls is made.

Not all of us were going to go a fact that nearly brought Sha're and Daniel to an open argument. I did not hear the beginning, but O'Neill ended the matter by telling us who was going and it wasn't either of them.

"Major Nelson's studied about as much as Carter, so he's going, along with Teal'c and Drey'auc and myself," I inwardly smile with having been chosen by O'Neill.

Sha're's story

"But I can help, Dan'yel," I wish I could make him understand that this is not the time to try and protect me. I can protect many with what Amonet left me as the only good that will ever come from my enslavement.

"Neither of your are going kids," I hear Jack interrupt, and we both turn towards him, "I need you here to help Thor and you can also provide some extra protection with that hand device thingie."

"Daniel, I need you and Carter to keep going through the records, make sure there is a plan B in case plan A fails." I see the comment on my husband's lips even before he utters it to Jack.

"Don't you mean plan C? Plan A was blowing up the ship if I recall correctly. That would make what you're going to do now as plan B."

"Right, I knew that," Jack counters in the manner of jesting I have come to know from him as does my Dan'yel, neither of whom looks like they are jesting when they are.

Jack informs everyone of who is going and they shortly leave with K-9 leading them. I first wonder how Dan'yel or Saman'tha will find anything in the Asgard recordings without K-9, but Dan'yel was quick to point out that they have an understanding of how to find things on their own.

I leave them to look through the records, I know when my husband has that look on his face, and he wants to focus on his latest discovery. He will share when he can put what he is finding into words later.

"Why does not my Ka'kesh'prim'ta help you more, Thor?" I ask as I look in on the stricken Asgard.

"You do not know enough about my physiology to help further, Sha're Jackson, but you have helped quite a lot," Thor informs me and I think about his words. I was able to help Daniel more after the operation once Janet told me what needed healing. Perhaps I should study anatomy as Janet does. I would not become a doctor like her, but it would help me understand how to direct the Ka'kesh'prim'ta as I heal.

It is not long afterwards when Jack and the others return, and I can see from their faces it wasn't a successful trip.

"So plan C?" my Dan'yel asks before Jack even informs us of the failure plainly written on their faces.

Saman'tha explains and Anthony moves the stones on the pedestal to take readings outside of the ship. "Not good," he announces, "Flare activity has flooded near space with higher levels of radiation."

"I will go," Teal'c volunteers, and I know why beyond his loyalty and commitment to his friends. His symbiote would protect him. I see on the lips of Drey'auc the very words to also volunteer to go with her husband, when Colonel Austin shakes his head having caught the intent himself.

"Only one should go. Let's not risk more than we have to. Two complicates how many to monitor in a space walk, but I do think you should be ready to go if your husband gets into trouble," Steve says to maybe sooth Drey'auc, or possibly tell the complete truth without shading it in favor of her feelings.

All of us listen in as Teal'c enters the airlock and then exits thanks to K-9 linking the Tau'ri radios with the Asgard speakers.

"One small step for Jaffa," we hear Teal'c reply to Jack's entreaty to say something. It seems as if all of us are holding our breaths as we watch the icon representing Teal'c move to where the explosive needs to be planted.

All of us couldn't mistake Jack's tone that something bad has just happened as he muttered, "Oh, Crap!"

"Jack?" my Dan'yel asks.

"Daniel," Jack replies in a manner he and my husband have settled into long ago.

"What just happened?" my Dan'yel presses and I know that tone, he knows something is wrong, all of us do, no-one could mistaken how Jack spoke.

"Replicators nearby," came the answer.

"Do you want backup Colonel?" Steve asks as he and Dan'yel get ready to go, though not without me.

"I've got Drey'auc, and your boys here, we'll be fine Colonel," Jack replied and in truth, Tony and Roger should be enough to help out as they helped Drey'auc into a space suit earlier.

Then Teal'c was trapped outside and his air tank blew. Saman'tha and K-9 rushed to work the controls to transport Teal'c inside the ship, he just had to push away for them to do so, which he did.

All of them returned with the unspoken news that our way off the ship was now cut off. That was the last airlock that the Replicators did not control and it was the way for us to get to where an Eagle would pick us up.

"Dan'yel..." I wish I hadn't sounded so afraid, and I should be grateful. I was with him now to face death. While my freedom from Amonet was short lived, it was sweet. I have seen my brother free from his demon, I have held my son. As long as I am with my Dan'yel, facing death is not so bitter to face.

Of course Saman'tha has a plan.

"Plan D?" my Dan'yel teases Jack to the smiles of everyone.

"We cannot work a way to beam out but site to site within the ship should also work," K-9 announced.

"Way to go Toto," Jack says in away that makes me doubt sincerity, but only for a moment. I recognize the tone of relief and to someone he'd rather not be grateful towards, or rather someone he has had a reputation not liking and really he does.

"It will have to be manually dialed," Saman'tha informs everyone, a feat both our Jaffa volunteer their superior strength towards the task.

"Beaming will draw the Replicators, so everyone but Sam should get to the spot we're beaming the Gate to and act as guard while Teal'c and Drey'auc are dialing," Steve suggests and Jack agrees. I was about to suggest I should stay in case Thor needs me but we had already put him in stasis to help perverse his life.

"Besides, I have...Toto here, I'll be fine," Saman'tha tries to assure all of us as we leave her with Thor and K-9.

When the Chappa'ai arrives I see why all of us had to come, the Replicators are swarming at us. My Goa'kesh'sha sends many flying but they come from so many places. One-by-one I hear the symbols of the Chappa'ai sound in place and barely hear over the gunfire Teal'c's warning as the Chappa'ai opens up and makes a way for us out.

Saman'tha, Thor and K-9 beam in a moment later, and pushes Thor's pod through the Chappa'ai. The rest of us continue to hold back the Replicators as we wait for Saman'tha's right time.

We do not feel the explosion, but K-9 assures us it has happened, the ship now shakes leaving no doubt it will fall apart soon. I know Dan'yel wants me to go through first, but my Goa'kesh'sha sends so many Replicators back, I should stay until the end and he stays with me.

Teal'c actually picks up K-9 and takes him with him as they go through the Chappa'ai. Then SG-10 goes, Saman'tha, and finally Jack, Dan'yel and myself go through barely in time before the Chappa'ai closes on the heels of the ship blowing itself apart.

Rolling up and into my husband's arms, our embrace seems as natural as the kiss that follows it. We made it through, and as Saman'tha explains we either wait for the Beta Chappa'ai to be put into place or head to Moonbase Alpha using their Chappa'ai.

In any case, we have made it, we are alive, and we are going home soon.


	28. EpilogueHome

Author's note: Meant as a short epilogue to Season three

Home

Sara's Diary

I wonder how long it would have taken the SG teams to make it home if we hadn't have had Moonbase Alpha or Eureka gates available? I understand that as of when we left for Jack's cabin they were still working on getting the dialing right. Sam would likely still be there if General Hammond hadn't pushed through the leave time all of the teams needed.

How Jack convinced her to come along, I still don't know. I can only imagine she might feel the odd woman out being the sole single member of SG-1 now.

So much has changed this last year. Sha're rescued and back with Daniel, Jack and I now married again, Drey'auc might well become the fifth member of SG-1. That might have met I may have been out of a job since neither Jaffa needed a cultural attaché any longer. However we've got other aliens now, allies that still want to talk to Mrs. Jack O'Neill so I still have a job.

I just hope that if I have to do any more traveling, nothing like the trip to Reetalia. It would be great to see Charlie and Charlene, but the Re'tu give me the creeps. Nice enough shivers down the spine, but shivers nonetheless.

"So how did you get Sam to come?" I ask Jack during the first night around the campfire. We had a perfectly good cabin, but Jack wanted a campfire and since neither Teal'c, nor Daniel wanted to fish, this was a concession.

Oddly enough, the old hound ended up fishing with all the women. I didn't know Sam grew to like it as relaxing, Drey'auc loved the point between hooking the fish, and drawing one in, and Sha're tended to giggle a lot when not marveling over how much free standing water she was looking at.

Yep, Jack was in Heaven. Ya sure, you betcha!

"K-9 offered to help in her place and suddenly her experiments with the naquadah generator kept going off line," one it was the first time I heard Jack refer to K-9 by name instead of Toto, two I couldn't believe the little dogbot could be so devious. Okay, maybe that's too strong a word, but still.

"You know you owe him don't you?" I had to tease him of course. Jack seemingly playing nice to any robot was a major step. I think he still would rather we nuke the duplicates than let them continue on.

"I'll find Toto an extra special bone, okay?" and from the twinkle in Jack's eyes I could see calling K-9 by name once was all I was going to get.

Snuggling up to him I had to ask, "So happy how things turned out, Mr. Jack O'Neill?" My hands were on his arm, my head leaning against his chest, but still I could feel his metaphorical hand take mine as he answered, "I wouldn't have it any other way Mrs. Sara O'Neill."

Drey'auc's day

I do not know why my husband dislikes this. The give and take, the pull and letting loose, the contest one has with such a creatures as -live- in the water. Chulak was not as Abydos, we had rain more often than not, but standing water and such things as fish living in them is not in my experience.

I have been introduced to so much since my time with Sara and the Tau'ri. So many changes and I have welcomed each one. Each kind something denied what my life would have been if Teal'c had not rebelled against our false god. I have learned to drive a vehicle, I have ridden a horse, I am mastering cooking with Tau'ri technology and even how to walk in their weapons-turned-footwear, high heels.

Most of all I have been able to live and fight beside my husband as no other Jaffa woman ever has in recorded history. And now this year and some of the women of Chulak now share that experience. They too know what I have known, felt what I have felt, and if their husbands are like mine, loved more passionately than before with shared dangers heating our souls.

I realize Teal'c did not wish to come along, but I am glad he did. That we were able to come and enjoy this team event, particularly as I am being considered for membership as part of the team. I will miss the time spent with Sara, Claire Jackson and many of the Tau'ri at the Stronghold, but to walk and fight side-by-side with Teal'c, to help him free our people, that is where I want to be.

By his side, at home where ever we go.

Sha're's Story

So much water! I know of oceans, Amonet has mentioned them, shown me them, but always at a distance. Be it from orbit, or her Ha'tak in the air, or on land to look out at a distance from the shoreline. I want to do this swimming that Dan'yel has talked about. That the fish I catch now do through the water unlike any creature on Abydos does through the sand.

Sara promises to teach Drey'auc and I how to cook the fish we catch, and I know Teal'c has a fondness for what they call 'sea-food' of which fish are apart of. I wonder if Dan'yel likes seafood as well? If so I must find out from Good Mother what are his favorites and learn to cook them. I cannot have it ready for tonight, not the reward I would love to give for him and Teal'c chopping wood for the fire later.

General Hammond calls this time away a reward for saving the world and it also gives me something to think about. Do I want to join Dan'yel with this part of his life as Drey'auc plans to Teal'c? Several times since my freedom from the demon I have shown to do what others cannot to help SG-1. Things from the last three years that had once been only reminders of pain, now used for help others.

Should I also seek to join SG-1? Will Dan'yel feel that is not my place? My Father would, but then Dan'yel does not believe as my people do. Cooking is just not a woman's job, my opinion matters to him, my happiness, my joys and sorrows. Just as his are important to me.

I want to take care of him and I have shown I can be there for him.

The campfire provides no answers as I stare into the flames, leaning against my Dan'yel, but it does remind me that home may be anywhere. The fires here are just like the fires of Abydos, but really what makes anywhere home is being with my Dan'yel for forever and a day.

Author's notes: Thank you everyone who stuck around this very shaky season. More drastic ups and downs, as I'm feeling out new writing styles. More than one chapter I'd rather not admit I wrote, but all in all I do enjoy this project and hope to continue it through "Unending" and maybe beyond.

Special thanks to all who reviewed, opinions helped me through this, and I hope to improve overall in future works.


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